DPs ex

[thepothasboiledover]

Hi all this is the first time I have asked advice on my own life in AIBU but I need to vent!!
Basically DPs ex has made our life hell for ten yrs + and I have literally years of saved abusive messages, screenshots from slanderous things she has written about us on social media etc. I know the best thing to do is ignore it but I've had enough and the slander on social media has started to affect my life again.
So what I am asking is that if I post the messages on social media publically and screenshots of her lies with the actual truth (think 'x & x refused to buy kids school uniform today' next to a text from her saying 'if you don't give me £50 tomorrow I am confiscating their phones until you do') am I breaking any laws?
Just for the record the kids are almost adults now. One just pretends it isn't happening and isn't right arsed and the other one is sick to the back teeth of it as well and moved out - spends most of the time with us or grandparents. Neither of them would give a shit whether I told the world everything, she has well and truly burnt her bridges with youngest DSC
I hate social media now with a burning passion but what she puts on there is impossible to avoid!!!

fuckincunt are you even reading what I'm saying?
Her family and friends sucked in by all her lies target my friends and relatives. And all the slanderous statuses are shared between mutual friends - I do not look at her social media but obviously people are going to tell me when she is writing such awful things about us. Oh and until recently her kids could see it all until they removed her because they're so sick of it

fuck does it matter re: his job?

There's no justification for her posting this shit, not least because her dc can see and are no doubt affected by it.

If she's approaching your DC then you need to get the police involved,you can OP because what she is doing amounts to harassment!

Have you ever spoke to a solicitor or the Police about getting an injunction against her?I had to get one years ago against an ex of mine,your DP could do the same.

I have ignored for ten years I've just really had enough and was hoping someone would know whether I'd be breaking the law or not by putting the truth out there

I'd do it. It can't hurt, other than it will wind her up.

You wouldn't be breaking the law but you shouldn't post her phone number.

I really do urge you to rethink it though. Once you stoop to that level, there's no going back.

I wonder would a solicitor's letter do any good? Saying that you will consider legal action should the harassment continue.

What does DP say?

I think you need to come off social media, and stop listening to others tittle tattling, live your life and ignore, send her a email address in which she can contact your partner from, and block her from your mobile phones. Who cares what she says on social media, or what she's telling others, they are adults and can decide from themselves

Its as if your loving the drama of all this, personally I would take steps so she had very little involvement in your family life!

If you have to ask if it's legal then it's probably not a good idea. I've been in similar shoes and the temptation is overwhelming to dish out the cold hard facts of things but remember that everyone that matters knows the bloody truth anyway. The minions who get involved in such Fakebook bullshit generally don't care about the truth anyway and just love a bit of drama. The sweetest revenge of all is to block/delete/unfollow and act as though they frankly don't exist.

From those statuses (stati?) any fool can see she's an obsessed lunatic. What's it got to do with her why her ex chose his new partner. Anyone with half a brain will know she's chatting shit, she's the one that comes across as the deranged one. Does she still have a thing for your dp?

I don't know how anyone can suggest the OP is "loving the drama of it all" after putting up with it for ten years! Unnecessary!

I agree that all of the people you love - your husband, your family, your friends, and most importantly the children all know the truth. That is enough. I know that friends who are relaying information to you are doing it with good intentions but it might be an idea to ask them to stop doing it. Explain to them that you have decided to not allow her to have one more ounce of your energy and it no longer interests you to know what she is saying or doing (unless it becomes dangerous - e.g. allegations of abuse, in which case report to police).

Head and chin up ,live a lovely life , be happy -best revenge ever!

I agree with sending a letter from a solicitor citing slander/harassment etc.

It's infuriating and I absolutely sympathise with how you feel. But rather than potentially land yourself in hot water for the sake of her I'd be going down a legal route and NOT resort to trying to justify yourself on social media.

I had similar and kept schtum for 10 years till DSD turned 18. The sheer amount of untruths was staggering. I was fit to burst and rang her where we had a MASSIVE row. Before the popularity of FB. We've not spoken since and DSD's wedding will be...interesting. But I felt a hell of a lot better for it having got 10 years worth off my chest.

I think there are other ways to deal with this (although I feel your pain). Like previous posters have suggested, come off all social media. Make it impossible to contact you by blocking her number, email. If she contacts you then you make it clear with a solicitor's letter that the contact is unwelcome and constitutes harassment. That will probably scare the beejesus out of her. Further contact can be met with a cease and desist letter referring to harassment. Your ex can do the same with contact made through a 3rd party or contact book.

Good, reasonable behaviour should be expected of both parties and lowering yourself to her lever is not becoming. Be the better person.

What do you mean by it is affecting your life OP? I see this as this, and please correct me if I am wrong...she has started to turn people you actually know against you with this rubbish?

If this is the case, those you actually care about should really ask your side of it first but if its a bunch of bitchy people and you are adamant you want to stop the lies, private message/IRL them the proof and show them shes a fucking loon.

I do not advise making it all very very public. However I completely understand the need to do so.

I do not think you would be breaking any laws either, to answer the question. There are a bunch of sites with private SMS and such on them. The likes of damnyouautocorrect.com and that and while they are jokey...I doubt they have persmission of every person involved to make them public.

She's posted my phone number more than once and the police weren't bothered. I honestly feel I can't win. I've tried so hard to turn a blind eye and not give her the satisfaction. It's got that bad I get dirty looks from her camp because they think she's so hard done to.
She's nearly been belted by a relative of mine whom she decided to start bad mouthing to us in the street. And then guess what? Posted on social media about how I'd gotten my threaten her! And this relative is extremely laid back for her to have gotten so angry with the lunatic she must have really really gone to town. I cannot afford legal action but maybe I should borrow to do it - debt for the rest of my life is preferable to this hell

fuckincunt do you not think I've done that? I'm not an idiot ffs this woman is simply relentless

your friends and family know the truth and who gives a shit what her family and friends think? The moment you engage with this is the moment she has won. She then knows that she's getting under your skin. Back away from social media and get on with your life. She is a nutter obviously and if her friends and family dont realise that then they are obviously nutters too.

What is your biggest worry or fear around this?

OP surely this is harassment. If she has posted your number then this can be proven, whether she mentioned your name or not. I would certainly speak to the police again, ask for a higher officer if not happy and also see a solicitor, use a free half hour appt, then even ask them to write to her to demand a stop.

I kinda agree with pp suggesting to tell your friend to stop letting you know about this. That's what causes all this stress and anger. If you don't know it can't hurt you. I honestly think that retaliating will become a tit for tat war and possibly escalating. I also don't know why your friends keep giving you details,when it's obvious there's nothing you can do about it and it upsets you so much x

I'm just sick of it. I'm sick of people who don't know me slagging me off and giving me dirty looks in the street. I'm sick of people commenting on posts about me and my DP like they know us. I'm sick of my friends and family ending up stressed upset and angry because of this freak