DPs ex

[thepothasboiledover]

Hi all this is the first time I have asked advice on my own life in AIBU but I need to vent!!
Basically DPs ex has made our life hell for ten yrs + and I have literally years of saved abusive messages, screenshots from slanderous things she has written about us on social media etc. I know the best thing to do is ignore it but I've had enough and the slander on social media has started to affect my life again.
So what I am asking is that if I post the messages on social media publically and screenshots of her lies with the actual truth (think 'x & x refused to buy kids school uniform today' next to a text from her saying 'if you don't give me £50 tomorrow I am confiscating their phones until you do') am I breaking any laws?
Just for the record the kids are almost adults now. One just pretends it isn't happening and isn't right arsed and the other one is sick to the back teeth of it as well and moved out - spends most of the time with us or grandparents. Neither of them would give a shit whether I told the world everything, she has well and truly burnt her bridges with youngest DSC
I hate social media now with a burning passion but what she puts on there is impossible to avoid!!!

"My DP has had it to the back teeth with the woman but he knows she just wants him to lose it with her so she can phone the police"

Is she expecting him to threaten violence? Or worse?

He needs to respond calmly, factually and show her up to be a loon. But carefully so that she cant twist anything.

I know it must be really fucking hard, but you need to try and ignore her as much as you can

I know you want to let everyone know what a bitch she is - but if you unleash, you know in your heart it will end very very badly

rant here, rant in private to your friends who know her - but dont make a public page about her where she can be identified

hang in there mate ! you can do this

Rebel I have said I will do this and because I've never really gone mad before she said 'I fucking dare you' then rang me THREE TIMES asking when I was gonna do it she is absolutely crazy but I think if she didn't have her loyal followers hanging onto her every word she'd have to stop. the proof is solid all the screenshots either have her picture on (social media messages) or her number (texts and what's app)

'But it's nothing to do with you.'

Ah, the classic 'you're just the stepmother so who gives a fuck' response. Of course it's to do with her, of course she needs to get involved when it directly affects her and her family members!

I don't really have any advice other than DON'T post to Facebook. It'll only make you feel better very fleetingly.

Actually, it might be worth posting something like, 'it has come to me attention that various rumours are being spread about me and DP. If you are interested in whether they are actually true, please ask me directly, otherwise can I suggest you please take it with a pinch of salt?'

A dignified silence is probably better though!

fuckincunt have you realised who I am or something? Because you seem very intent now on arguing with me?
In answer to your question she has contacted both of us equally - and slandered us both equally online

Ugh, DH's ex of many many years ago is EXACTLY like this - if I didn't know better, I'd say it was the same person!

We involved the police at one point because it got beyond fucking ridiculous, and she just laughed when they paid her a visit. Nothing was achieved. She dripped poison about us (she's never even met me) to anyone who'd stay still long enough to listen. She's still at it now.

I very rarely update Facebook, I deleted all my other social media accounts as she found and harassed me through every single one of them. All I can advise is Total Radio Silence. Ignore, ignore, ignore. Give her NOTHING. Not a sausage. She'll still slag you off, make no mistake, but it's the REACTION that people like her want, so don't let her have it.

I was actually going to post the screenshots on my fb page (it's still open just don't use it now) and make the settings public (for the friends of hers I haven't blocked to see) or for when she makes another fake profile

fuckincunt I'm not going to put exact details on here because that would identify me. However here is an example just changed a bit
'For fucks sake some people are such sad bastards and need to leave me alone'
Hence 'what's up hun' comments
Followed by 'fuckin sperm donors missus and her mates sending taxis to my door all night last night. Shame she neglects her kids while sperm donor is at work to harass me!!'

It really bothers me when people say any issue between a partner and their ex is nothing to do with the new partner. In this case it ABSOLUTELY is - the woman is spreading rumours and lies about the OP. Who else is that to do with if not the OP?

pot I don't think that you should retaliate on facebook but is there any way you could afford to get a solicitors letter sent to her, advising her to stop on-line defamation or she will face a legal challenge. You don't need to carry it through - perhaps just the threat would be enough to stop it?

Why don't you just change your number and block her?

She can say whatever she wants on her Facebook, just ignore her, and if she tries to add you, just delete and block.

You're fuelling her anger every time you answer the phone to her, or respond to her messages. I would be changing my number and letting DP deal with her, tbh.

Here's another one:
'Can't believe I have to let my kids are such a pair of fucking wasters. Sperm donor has quit his job so he doesn't have to pay CSA'
And another:
'Why my kids sperm donor got with such a fucking slut is beyond me. I'd feel sorry for him being cheated on every weekend if he wasn't such a cunt. He'll get a shock when he finds out she caught the clap from last weekends jump though hahahaha'
I have changed these so they are just similar to what's been written but you get the gist

op calm down on this thread. Someone getting as angry as you is someone that won't receive help but will receive negative comments. Take a deep breath, calm down and respond in a measured fashion.

One simple, clear message in private to her - if you continue to harass and abuse me I will contact the Police immediately. Then block her and her cronies on social media, change your telephone numbers or block and carry on with your life. Next time she contacts you, take all evidence (screenshots, voicemails, texts) to the police and get some advice from them in how to proceed. Time to draw a line under this, ten years is a long time.

Did the OP not say that she was blocked? So, not a solution.

Pot I get the temptation but I really don't think you'll feel better for it. Not in the long term.

Just step back. Don't post anything on facebook, it'd be giving her satisfaction knowing she's getting to you.

Step back and ignore the attention seeking comments. Ignore ignore ignore.

He did neither - we changed the maintenance arrangement when his eldest became an adult