To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

I hate to have to say it - but some people get inheritances after losing people that they didn't like! Or in some cases, didn't know.

Appearances can be deceptive!

To be completely honest, with an income of 50k, you should be able to have some nicer things in life, but then that will depend on things like childcare, mortgage, amount of cars & what your general spending is like!

At the moment, our household income is about 30k with 2 adults working & an 18 year old college leaver. We only run 1 car (as only i drive), our car is about 18 months old & bought last year with some inheritance (but before that we had a 12 year old car that needed loads of work doing to it). We have some credit card & catalogue debt (about 5k). And have a £250 per month mortgage on a 4 bed new build, which we're overpaying on top of that. We have holidays, nights out, meals out, have beauty treatments & spa days, but do things like looking out for vouchers & offers. I shop in aldi & buy value range, along with going later in the day for reduced stuff. I buy clothes in the sales & charity shops. Regularly sell items on facebook buy & sell sites. I've bought bits of furniture on buy & sell sites (yes there is some rubbish on them, but sometimes you can fall lucky too!). We don't do foreign holidays very often & don't have every gadget going, but having spoken to (or hearing comments from) others, those with some of the extras end up paying for it. A guy my husband works with, has all the gadgets & they go away alot to expensive places, but then are in arrears with their rent & have their electric & gas cut off regularly too. I couldn't live like that! My sil & bil (OH's side) have every gadget going & try to go abroad every year, but struggle to make their 1k monthly mortgage payment, sil even recently ran out of petrol in her car & they are always short of cash. But to others they look like they're doing well :) Some will be lucky to have family who help out with childcare (freeing them up with that expense), others will have generous family who will gift them things, an old friend's husband was usually good at playing cards & gambling, so they'd have times of being flush. (she just wouldn't admit to his losing on the horses, you'd just hear about the wins lol, then she'd usually want to come round with her little one for tea . . . usually when they were strapped for cash!)

TooMuchMNTime that is very true.

The differences in lifestyle can be down to a number of quite marginal things. A well (or luckily) timed house purchase. Inheritance. A small grade difference at work can mean significant salary and perk difference. Availability of free or low cost childcare. The number of children and the age difference.

DH has a very nice company car and works from home sometimes. The DC have lovely clothes that are either second hand or I've knitted myself. We holiday in the UK and carefully budget.

The very naice looking decor in my house is mostly second hand.

I spent my 20's in debt caused by an ex. I've learnt to be frugal.

When you consider that the average family debt is £13,520, not including the mortgage, it makes you realise simply how much debt some people must be in.

Hard work! Why is it so hard to believe! We have no overdrafts, no credit cards, no loan, only a mortgage (around half the value of the home we bought last year), I'm a SAHM and my partner works hard, I support him.

My parents and his parents were the same, work hard and have nice lifestyles.

Everyone assumes we are bankrolled by mummy and daddy but we're not, it's actually quite insulting when people drop it into conversation that we must get hand outs. We don't, we were just raised to work hard. (OH a much harder worker than me, I must say!)

Credit cards.

At least it is for us!

On the car front for normal people who don't do 30k work miles a lease car is a no brainer. The deals are so good it's far cheaper to run a new efficient car with servicing included than an older car without.

I look like I get to pick my kids up from school every day yet still earn a decent salary - the reality: I work my butt off every evening once the kids are in bed to make up my hours!

I do have a lot of friends who got very healthy contributions from their parents when they were in their twenties, and are now able to own massive houses despite pretty average jobs. So yes, I get the shock that lifestyle is rarely dictated by salary alone.

All my money came from inheritance, I suppose people might think I max out credit cards. I do however have two friends who have disclosed more than 50k on credit cards, I genuinely think it's not uncommon. Have a look at money saving expert forums and you can see the scale of debt problems.

I've just been to my local shops - naice home county. In my Primark trousers, Tu shoes, M&S T Shirt (jigsaw cardigan though ) and have driven home in my six year old SMax. I'm delighted that nobody would guess how posh our house is or that we have another one. and I had a children's toastie and pot of tea in M&S to keep costs down and because it was enough

Nobody gave us a penny before I was 42 and my father died. By then it didn't affect our lifestyle.

Some jobs are better paid than you might think. A former colleague's husband is a bin man, and with overtime he makes the same as me - I'm in an NHS role requiring a degree-level qualification.

ohthe my granny lives in a large house with vast gardens but drives a 20 year old banger and dresses in clothes from a charity shop

On the other hand I know (lovely but arguably misguided) people who wear designer clothes and are up to their eyeballs in debt.

It has taught me not to make any assumptions about people based on appearances!

I have a life.
I am only interested in my DH, and DC being happy.
I have never once wondered about anyone else, because I am too busy concentrating on making ours the best possible.

My millionaire aunt and uncle lived next door to a someone who was a shelf stacker in Tesco working nights.

He made his fortune playing online Poker.

Some jobs are more well paid than you think - some others (I've been researching for possible careers of my DC) are not particularly well paid, even though they require PHDs.

I've recently noticed that other people spend money differently to myself. I was that colleges who I know earn the same as me and have the same number of could afford a lot of nights out and a nice foreign holiday each year and very expensive christmas presents. Then I realised I choose to spend my money of my DCs tuition (music, sport, and sometimes academic) etc instead.

I have one friend who is obviously very frugal - her DC wear designer clothes, and her house is beautiful, but I know the clothes are second hand, and she works hard to find cheap/free furniture and refurbish it.

Best not to look at or think about other people as it does not make you happy.
If you do have to, remember plenty of those who have more physically are not necessarily happy.
One of my teenagers sometimes complains about other people having more things than him - more clothes, more changes of shoes etc and I said well I choose to spend money on other things like helping my children buy a property and also some people just have more money. It is just how it is. I have an old car because I am not interested in cars and it means we are less likely to be burgled - they pick the houses with the expensive cars around here to rob and often want to steal the cars. No one is going to want to steal my car nor anyting in the house.

Neither of us ever did school runs and nothing wrong with that at all. There is nothing that says doing school runs is wonderful. Often it means traffic and tired children and a lot of our valuable time wasted. Just look on the bright side - you've been spared years of school runs and if you are working full time you willalso see the benefits through your pay in due course.

Don't wonder, ASK!

Most of the Dads doing school pick-ups or drop offs work shifts IME

I know one dad who is very cranky when dropping off, because he's just finished a shift, and wants to go to bed. He's completely different when he picks up 6 hours later!

I know mums who do this too.

I'm not convinced any of them are getting enough sleep.

It's not just inheritance and house deposits but I think help from your family makes a massive difference. Some of my friends had their student debts paid off once they graduated. Others never had to pay childcare or for a cleaner (I know families whose mums come and clean for them).

I have the opposite experience. We have a joint income that some on MN would assume means we bathe in champagne and burn £50 notes in front of beggars. We live in a bogstandard terrace, drive a ten year old car and take camping holidays. Our income is eaten up by a London mortgage, the money pit that is living in a period property and full time childcare.

I am very careful with money. But then I grew up very poor. I am always amazed at colleagues who earn much less, buying lunches and take away coffees.

Handsoffmysweets - but surely it was bad luck that put you in that situations in the first place. Like it was good luck I never had that. And those people who were abused and couldn't get away as easily, like a friend of mine who has struggled with PTSD and neurological damage from her abusive husband were unlucky.

Ditto on the inheritance front. Yes, I'd love my mum back. I miss her every day and growing up without her was rough. But a lot of people lose a parent and don't get to buy a house in their twenties. It was luck, or chance, or whatever, that meant I was born into a middle class family.

There's a lot we can't control in life and saying we can does kinda imply that those who suffer were to blame for their ill fortune.

I think most of it is just people having different priorities.

DH and I are boring want long term security. We put all our money into the house and savings. House is now paid for and fully renovated from the run down tatty hovel we bought. We don't drink or go out much, have an old car and have had 2 holidays in 10 years.

Friends 'couple A' aren't bothered about their house. They like to have 5-6 big holidays a year and brand new top of the range cars. The cars are leased, they work long hours plus overtime and have an interest only mortgage.

Friends 'couple B' like to party and enjoy going out several times a week to posh foodie restaurants and drinking lots of fine wine. They like buying lots of fashionable clothes. They spend a lot of time finding great deals and offers and buy/sell lots of stuff on ebay etc. so actually spend a fraction of what it appears they have spent.

I hate all this talk of 'luck' vs 'hard work'. Everybody works, sometimes hard sometimes not so much. Everybody experiences good and bad luck in their lives. Nobody has only one or the other.

It all sounds more like 'jealousy' vs 'smugness' to me

No not everyone experiences good and bad luck. I think of a woman I know who was trafficked into prostitution by her own teenager as a teenage child. As son as she got away from her pimp, she obviously had nothing to do with her family. She slowly began to get on her feet and get herself together, and then suddenly got MS. As a result she is to ill to work. She could never be well off, no matter what her priorities.

The truth is luck plays a large part, followed by hard work and priorities. Some people do piss away their money. I see it. People who earn more than me, have more advantages, yet waste their money on stupid things and so never have any money. Others are very careful and yet because of bad luck, never have any. Some people are lazy or not interested in money, so never make much.

by her own family it should have said.