To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

Well that clearly has been devastating to you practy

Have you any idea how hurtful it is to complain about it being hard for you to watch people whose parents have died have a bigger house than you.

I think you need to take a long hard look at yourself. I would rather squeeze us all into a one bedroom flat and have them back.

But its fine, i will leave this thread. I find that people in general refuse to acknowledge how much of an impact an inheritance can have.

I read the Financial Times and have for many years. I saw god investments that would have paid off, but I did not have the few thousand required. Even small amounts of money can make a difference.

And yes I would rather have my MIL than an inheritance. I was very close to her. But my DP and I have neither. And I DP still miss her over 20 years later.

Inheritance entrenches inequality, but is rarely acknowledged. And the people I know who are the best with money, are also the poorest. They have to be good with money.

But you'll be pleased to hear that I probably have less money now than my friends.

Due to having no parental guidance throughout my adult life and a huge amount of grief,I've managed to piss most of it up a wall.

Well I seem to have fucked up at both ends.
Had DD1 young, bought a house at the right time, should be mortgage free now. But oh no I went on to "do things properly", got married, bought another house and am now divorced with 4 kids and nothing.
Not sure what advice I'd give young people now as "ruining my life" as my mother put it, would have had me in a better position. Crazy.

Apart from what has been mentioned my experience is that lifestyle is often funded by:
Gambling e.g horses/matched betting/stocks and shares
Work on the side - this happens a lot
Slightly less than legal means e.g reselling cigarettes
Having their fingers in many pies. People have multiple businesses, all providing a modest income on their own but high as a collective.
Oh and my ex neighbour who funded it by commiting fraud.

Both DH and I have new cars. They were both bought partially on credit - we both got 0% finance deals as the cars were new, which we wouldn't have got on a second hand car. So the monthly payments on a brand new car were similar to the monthly payments on a 3 year old car. As the running costs on new cars are less (no MOT, good warranty etc) the cost per month is actually lower.

I have friends with older cars who seem to be forever back and forth to the garage. Mine (touch wood) runs like a dream.

We don't put anything else on credit, just the mortgage and car finance. So we certainly aren't maxed out on credit cards!

My DP also lost his mum young. I did mention that. And I lost a MIL that I was very close to. It is luck that bereavement leads to an inheritance. It is unlucky and tragic to lose a parent young. My MIL died young very unexpectedly.

And most people I know with money beyond what their jobs would fund, have done it through inheritance. Like everyone else in life I have suffered bereavements. Some in tragic circumstances such as murder. Those who inherit and those who don't all suffer bereavements of those close to them. It is luck that some inherit and some don't.

But I really will leave this thread now.

I think that the point is that inheriting isn't lucky Practy, however being born into an affluent family is good luck. Talking about luck in life is complex, as few people are entirely lucky and similarly few are entirely unlucky.

I'm going to try this one last time and then I'll probably stop because clearly I'm not good at articulating myself and just causing offence which honestly isn't my intent.

But ... losing your loved ones and/or gaining inheritances is still down to luck (or chance). It's bad, it's shitty, it's not a happy thing, but there it is. Maybe if you can only accept the word "luck" as a good thing we're talking about different concepts?

Hamster, I'm sorry for your losses. They must have been really lovely people - I can't imagine what you've been through

Having decent parents at all is the form of "luck" which I can't claim to have experienced myself. I had an abusive childhood and absolutely no good adult guidance myself either. I'm grateful to a supportive (and luckily wealthy) DH for helping me more than they ever did or could.

Big question: if the universe isn't randomly chaotic and inherently full of chance, what's your alternative here hands?

Is everyone who has had a terrible time from life meant to have had that? Do we deserve it somehow? Did I deserve to be damaged? No of course not! I don't think you'd believe that either, but from your posts I can read this fierce, angry "we've done fine, anyone who wanted to could".

And it's just so much harder and scarier to accept that that's not true. Having the health, abilities and capacity to work hard is lucky. Some people are pretty much all but doomed from birth, unless something unpredictable vastly changes things. It's horrible. Life can be desperately unfair and horrible.

Anyway ... Well done to those who've used their inherent luck (good and bad) in their favour, and if on threads like these you can share some of your tips that's great. I don't think it's nosy or jealousy to try and find out what makes others successful at all - share the wealth and all that... I'm off to google the stock market myself

My DH often does the school run as he works shifts and is usually off for about 4 days. We have a nice car and are about to build an extension but this has been achieved by cutting out on a lot of treats, being frugal about shopping and not many holidays.

DH is very money conscientious which I used to moan about, but due to this we will have our mortgage paid off in 10 years - only bought house last year - so can't complain about him too much!

These threads always descend into the luck vs hard work debate. With a bit of stealth boasting and benefit bashing comments thrown in. It's almost following a script.

Looks can be deceiving too, some of the most wealthy people life the simplest lifestyles, running bangers into the ground and not splashing out.

For example, I see a Range Rover as a huge waste of money, to buy/lease and to run.

People are very wasteful. If people considered how wasteful they were with resources they would soon find themselves with extra money!

That's the exact opposite to what she said Hands off...she (I assume a she) means that if all good stuff you get is attributed purely to you (generic you) then surely that means that any bad stuff is also attributed to you. You can't believe in bad luck or chance without also believing in good.

Merd meant that the mere fact that some people have such shitty parents or upbringings or whatever stands to demonstrate that lick exists.

Buying a house in the 90salso helps

Buying a house in the 90s definitely helps.
One perk of hurtling towards mid 40s.

Meh. You'd probably wonder about my family - nice car nice house nice life.
Both of us at home for a while, doing school runs etc, now DH at home whilst I work in school admin. Not exactly well paying.

But we bring in more than the average yearly wage in military pensions - we don't have to work - I choose to.

We've been sneered at in the playground and I know we were the topic of gossip when we first moved to the village - that didn't stop until we attended the Remembrance Day church service wearing our medals. Funnily, after that people wanted to know us...Fuck that

So no inheritances, no lottery wins, no debt (no mortgage), nothing dodgy. Just old fashioned work that paid off.

Yep - what witsender said, but I'm definitely done here now - you're just itching for a good fight and ignoring and somehow weirdly misreading my actual questions and comments. So, that's that I guess.

Anyway - been googling a bit and can't get my head around the stock market stuff at all, so any good tips etc from anyone, let me know

I think a better word would be chance rather than luck.