To sometimes wonder how people afford their lifestyles?

[Babysafari]

Most people that I know appear to have really nice lifestyles. New cars, really nice houses all done out immaculate and on nice roads. Holidays abroad several times a year to nice places too. I've also noticed that most of the parents at school pick their dc up themselves (I'm on maternity leave). There are loads of dads at the school gates too and a lot of mums and dads do the school runs together. A lot of these people are really young too.

One of the dads is a road sweeper so won't be being paid loads and his wife doesn't work, yet they are always doing the school run together but they seem to have the above lifestyle.

Me and dh have a decent household income, hardly rich but 50k, we're not struggling at all but our cars are old, we can only afford cheap holidays, dh works really long hours and is never there for school runs.

I'm not being deliberately envious, logically I know they could have family help or anything I guess people just make it look so easy, I wonder how they do it.

Hands, well yes - I do think others have 'more' than me. I think others have 'less' than me. That's the point - we're all unique, different, and there's no one reason someone is doing better or worse than someone else.

Not 'chippy' about it in the slightest, though I'm sometimes sad about my upbringing and the way it impacted me I guess. I think acknowledging that everyone has different life chances is a bit different from being 'chippy' about it.

But really, why does it mean so much to you? Why are you being so aggressive about it? Especially on a day when you're lucky enough to be able to celebrate being a family .

If you're proud of your achievements - great! Well done - be proud and enjoy it, but you can do that without slating everyone else and whilst showing them some empathy. Because in your exact circumstances they could possibly have done the same, and you'd have done the same in theirs.

Made some decent enough investments when I was young. Started at a young age due to my leftie teacher ranting on about the evils of the stock market. I just thought potential free money sounds good to me so bless his little commie arse. I had never have even heard about it till then

Our lifestyle appears quite modest and no one has a clue how well off we are. When friends have had discussions about money and ask Pie what would you do I can't always tell them and just say not sure. There have been a lot of break ups amongst friends so lots of fretting about money especially housing on my friends part. I can't really join in and say I would just buy another house outright.

Handsoff your aggression does you no favours. Sibary has not said anything out of line, but you are being very naive to ignore the luck that pervades.

On the outside it looks like we have a great lifestyle. We bought a house in a fantastic area - but it needed completely renovating (it's going very slowly). It it had already been done we would never have afforded it. We also sold our first house at the height and bought our new one when the house prices had crashed. We have a small mortgage for our house now.

We have lots of days out. Our parents give each of us £50 (5 of us) for Christmas. With the £500 we buy merlin vouchers. We also have national trust membership. It seems like we have lots of expensive days out but all we actually pay for is a packed lunch and fuel. All of my clothes are from eBay/charity shops. I colour my own hair and my best friend is a hairdresser so she cuts my hair once a month and I look after her children one evening for her and her husband to go out. I shop at aldi/lidl and go to tesco at reduced time one evening a week as I am passing. - we have a huge leg of lamb today that I got last night reduced to 33p!!!

Not everyone is in debt!

I work part time and DP full time for an average wage, we have one toddler DD. People think we have a lavish lifestyle but honestly my mum helps us out A LOT. She wants to see us enjoy what we would inherit rather than some of it go to the tax man. We also don't pay any child care as lovely MIL has DD while we are at work

Original question on how OH and I afford our lifestyle - my mother died when I was young, so I inherited a chunk of money and was able to buy a flat in London 12 years ago in what was then a very dodgy area. Property prices boomed, area was gentrified, OH and I sold up and moved to Scotland where we were able to buy a gorgeous place in a nice area outright. We have no mortgage, no debt, no rent. We both earn ok but nothing major (household income is £70k ish) but it's mostly disposable income.

I also have a generous father who bought all his kids cars a few years ago (didn't ask, he offered) so I have a decent two year old car.

Apart from that, we don't smoke or drink, we spend more on food than we should because we love to cook and like Waitrose and really good quality stuff, we buy clothes on eBay and make some stuff because I enjoy that, so they are very cheap, we do travel, and I put £300 per month into my airfares fund so I can, and scour the internet for cheap flights and deals constantly.

Both of us work on flexible hours with the option to work from home which means minimal commuting costs.

So, luck and priorities I guess?

Of the people I know who have a better lifestyle than their job would support-

Inheritance so bought expensive house mortgage free.
Inheritance and very good with money
Black market work over and above day time job, very good with money and inheritance so mortgage free
Although married, very big payout from previous divorce settlement, plus inheritance
Wife died young so fairly large insurance payout. Works, but in low paid job, mortgage paid off and lots in bank. Very good with money.
Owns 3 properties bought by family and given to her. Lives on rent plus part time job.

The only people I know in debt apart from mortgage, are people who have very little and have to borrow to get by

Inheritance and/or financial help from family, plays a larger part in most cases than many people will admit

Does a mortgage count as debt ?

So hard to have a balanced discussion because what one calls a good lifestyle is definitely not to another.

We have a great lifestyle as dh earns it- a few million a year and able to take whole summer off as all people in his business do. But last night we went for dinner to an old school friend of mine who's dh worth in excess of 80m, their lifestyle makes us look relatively poor. How does he do it? He's very, very bright and knows how to get what he wants. But very selfish too

Just because you have a nice car doesn't mean that it is paid for. Many people also pay for their lifestyle on credit cards and loans. Things are not always what they seem. My friend lived her life putting holidays etc on credit cards, it caught up in the end and now she is struggling

Most people I know are just vey good with money.

I am not.

They saved a lot before children whereas is did not.

Damn them

We live in a lovely house and DH does the school run.

BUT we were lucky to be able to buy our first houses when they were not ridiculously priced and then used equity to move to bigger houses over the years. We both worked very hard pre-dc and due to his hard work DH was fortunate to be offered partnership in a thriving firm. Firm was sold and we made a hefty profit on initial investment. DH had sudden illness and subsequent brain injury which means he can only work part time.

So, hard work, luck, both good and bad! No ones business really.

Op, they may work hard, they may not work hard.They may be in debt, they may not be up to their ears in debt.
They may have leased cars, they may not have leased cars.
What I am trying to say that it is none of your bloody business.

But it is hard to see others living a nice life when you know that it is down to family help and inheritance, while you are both working hard and still struggling.

Practy- but that's life.
Life is not fair

I am well aware of that.

And someone close (ie parents) has to have died for most people to inherit. That's not really luck imo.

What I am trying to say that it is none of your bloody business.

Ermm - so don't post on the worldwide web internet thread if you don't want people knowing your business.

The OP is being nosy. And it has prompted some very interesting discussion and quite a lot aggression and stealth boasting also.

All of us eventually have our parents die. That is life, tragic and devastating, but not unlucky.
And I know plenty of people who have inherited from grandparents as well as parents. But many people like me have a parent die and have to try and find money for a funeral, rather than inherit. Inheriting is down to luck. It has nothing to do with what you do or do not do.

practy my parents both died when I was in my 20s.

No I didn't have to save for a house deposit.

I'm sorry if that's hard for you

It is unlucky if parents die tragically and young.

Yes that is unlucky. Everyone I know who has inherited has had parents die at a normal type of age. Except my DP whose mum died young. My DP inherited nothing.