To think 8 stone at 5'4 isn't that slim

[Hadbetterdays]

I am that weight and height and I often get people telling me how skinny I look and that I need to gain weight.

I am 5 foot 2 and 9 stone 12. I would say based on how I look that you are very slim but not really skinny.

Yep Same here.

I didn't see that documentary Aeroflot. What channel was it on? We are the same in our family. Mum's side Mediterranean, Dad's side tall, slender and blonde. I have got the the short stocky side from Mum and the fair skin and colouring from Dad. My Sister has the reverse. Which you would think would be ideal for her but she is jealous of my boobs and bum!

bander for heaven's sake, this is a thread about weight and height, it clearly states that in the title. Why would you even open it if you have food and body image issues? Why would the fact that you choose to read something that you find difficult make it someone else's responsibility for writing it in the first place?

Bb read back. I explained it more than once- I can't avoid this thread BECAUSE of the ED. It's not as if the subject matter is objectively interesting. I'm sorry you find that exasperating, i only asked what kind of sympathy you're showing there.

or people try their hardest to take responsibility and hide those threads/topics, if they find themselves being drawn to them and triggered

I'm sort of resigned to knowing that I'm probably always going to want to be triggered. It's what I've been left with after being anorexic. Potentially triggering shit is everywhere, and that's how it is. These threads do remind me that I can't be complacent about being a healthy weight now.

I'm sorry to hear that First

It seems to me that there's no solution here.

It's unreasonable to expect people not to discuss weight and the various issues around it.

And it's unreasonable to expect people with EDs, to be able to keep themselves away from those threads.

Stale mate really.

Sounds fine to me. The problem is that overall, the population is getting fatter which skews the perception of what is healthy and what would have been normal a couple of decades ago.

I look my best as an adult at about 8 12 like a stone ago but everyone is different

I found when I was thinner people would say "OMG you're so SKINNY!"

cheeky fuckers. If I'd been equally "fat" no one would have said a word.

Bottom line - none of their business.

It's unreasonable to expect people not to discuss weight and the various issues around it

And it's unreasonable to expect people with EDs, to be able to keep themselves away from those threads

Stale mate really

Thanks Worra. I think you've summed it up above. It is hard to know what the OP wanted from this though. A thread full of people telling her she's slim, I expect, but the reasons for that are far from clear.

Seems very simple to me. Yes ot's PK to discuss weight and weight loss. That's fine. It is OK to duscuss your feelings anout your body- good or bad- of course. The competitive weigh ins do actually invite self harm- especially in the context of 'am I fat?'. You're saying it's so hard and complicated- what is so hard about that?

If you're healthy they need to not comment on your appearance - it's just the way you are and they should just not comment. Appearance comments should only ever be compliments imo. Even if someone is unwell (which you aren't) commenting could only have a negative effect. Says so much about someone who would comment on appearance I think.

It's hard (not really complicated) because unless HQ make it against the rules, it's un police-able.

Perhaps you should start a thread in Site Stuff, asking if they could make it against the rules to post your weight, and ask if people think that makes them slim or fat.

Might be worth a try?

Sorry, but what's an ED?

ED = Eating Disorder

Sounds perfect!

Banderwassnatched, I think your statement "The competitive weigh ins do actually invite self harm" is an interesting one. As someone without an ED, reading what other people's weights and heights are is mildly interesting, and I certainly would not view it as competitive! Surely it is having the ED that leads you to view the conversation this way.

In the same way that some alcoholics cannot ever be around others who are drinking, for fear of relapsing, perhaps you should avoid weight discussions? Genuinely sorry that you have found this triggering. It must be really hard

OK, from now on, assume i know what i 'should' do. I shouldn't make myself sick. I shoukd eat proper meals, every day. I shoukd avoid weight and body comparisons.

Incredibly, I'm not that stupid. But I can't do what I should.

Then, perhaps you need to seek more help if you are still in the midst of the eating disorder. Especially if you are still actually making yourself sick My relative is Bulimic, and the first lot of counselling did not help her at all, the second enabled her to gain strategies to get it under control.

I think it very much depends upon your body type. I'm 5.61/2 and weight 8.8. I'm relatively broad though so appear fairly gangly - some would say skinny. Each to their own I'd say. I really do think it's all about how you feel yourself.

Ha! Unless you're actually dying, the support is not to be had. My BMI is healthy, i have a job, i function. This has rendered me largely invisible to MH services for the last 6 years, despite repeatedly presenting for care. I beg you, assume i am an intelligent woman and don't tell me any more about what i should do.

Skinny is a terrible adjective when you think about it , does it mean 'anorexic 'skinny' as in there is literally no body fat or does it mean ' gain 4llbs and you will look a teeny bit better ' or does it mean 'gangly like a foal or calf ' ?

What always really matters is health OP , how often are you ill ? do you feel run down , lethargic ,constantly cold, low in energy and mood ? If the answer is never and no then I really wouldn't give other peoples comments another thought, says a morbidly obese woman .

Bander can you take comfort from threads like these? To know that we are all different shapes and sizes?

No worries. It was just a suggestion. My (also intelligent!) relative had to pay to access the counselling she needed, i know it was hard to get. I hope things get better for you in the future.

HOSR- personally I derive something useful from people who are overweight, know they're overweight, and clearly don't care at all. I love those people and they have something i deeply envy.

But like most EDs mine comes from more than just a desire to diet that has gone too far, it's a deep hatred of my own body resulting from past trauma. There's no size i could be that could make my like my own body, no way i could look would scrub out the feeling of being internally disgusting.

Anywho, i have already monopolised thus thread enough about me and my stuff. I apologise.