To feel so upset about jo cox?

[Unpropergrammer]

I didn't know of her before today but this news has devestated me for some reason. Watching the news I couldn't stop crying.

I just keep thinking of her poor kids.

So sad, it broke my heart to think about her poor children. I got upset at work when I read the follow up news after the attack to say she had actually died. It shocked me as I just thought she would be OK when I read about the attack. I cried for her and her family last night. Just tragic.

Some great points Fusion.

Barnsley town hall are flying the flag at half mast, and the local MP, Dan Jarvis, says he will continue to walk around Barnsley town centre every Friday afternoon. This isn't going to stop him.

And if he was very vulnerable and felt he wasn't being taken care of by the government, she was advocating to take care of refugees and there was massive hateful rhetoric about Brexit in terms of "them" taking "our" jobs/benefits/community supports, doesn't that make it entirely political as opposed to "not racist"? Even knowing and feeling sympathy for his vulnerability and diminished accountability? It will have focused his ire even more at her, legitimised it even if he already felt it. I don't think his personal issues reduce the gravity and need for collective responsibility when it comes to addressing the whole political and social context one bit.

I think there is evidence coming out now that he was in touch with at least one far right group.

fusion, I think your point is very valid.

Lets put it in the context of extremism, in a way people seem to have some understanding of.

Radicalisers often recruit by looking for individuals vulnerable to influence and then exploit that. This is why young disaffected individuals who have are perhaps not valued in society in the way they would like (low employment status), have been abused or single out in the past for some reason beyond their control (unchannelled anger) about that and have questions about their sense of identity (looking for a sense of purpose) are particular targets. Likewise any other vulnerable group that does not automatically fit into other areas of the community.

The message that they are hearing is one that is designed to deliberately chime with their life experience and give them that sense of direction, purpose and goal. You don't target people who are happy with their lives. You don't target people with a strong sense of place and purpose already. So it resonates in greater affect than it would with someone who was less vulnerable.

This is not the only way they recruit but it is a classic one.

Ouch toothbrush, that makes a worrying amount of sense. Was saying to my daughter something similar ie Jihadis probably aren't in a good place either. So horrible to think people who have been crushed by austerity are being incited to blame victims of poverty and war...and those who defend them

The grief police can fuck right off. In the context of this horrible situation, one extra thread about it is really not a problem, and posting a shitty message to make someone feel bad about doing so? Take a look at yourself.

It's heartbreaking

Other than her family and friends, Jo will be a distant memory next week for strangers like us. You can me as much as you like.

I wrote that because it's the truth, as far as I'm concerned anyway.

Sad , horrible and awful as her death is, I won't be thinking about her in the coming weeks when the story fades from the news. I'm not a cold hearted person but I am resilient and practical.

I'm sorry Mrs. Doyle.

It is really lovely that people can find it in themselves to say such positive and touching things about her, despite their own sadness about what has happened.

I don't see what resilience and practicality have to do with anything. Ignoring shifts in local events tied to trends in world politics that threaten all our security is neither of these, anyway. Maybe it is even the opposite.

I use 'resilient and practical' because I'm not crying over a stranger's death despite the dreadful event that caused it, I have family and friends to cry over , when they die I'll grieve, until then you get on with life and stay strong.

Next week I won't think about her, it's true. I agree with Worra's initial post because I do think that posting a thread to say I'm terribly upset and crying when there were a few others preceding hers which she could have used instead smacks a little of look at me.

Yy, it's not the fact someone is upset, it's the ignoring of the fact so many threads were already up. Why not post on those?

Still, some lovely posts on here, as on other threads, which are a fitting testimony to the memory of a marvellous woman, selfless politician and not least a mother, wife and friend.

I just can't see why Worra's valid point has been taken as criticism of the undeniable truth that this was an awful and horrendous loss.

I didn't realise we were only allowed a set number of threads on any given topic at any one time - is this something MN have introduced recently?

There are no limits you know. Feeling sad for someone's death now doesn't use up the tears for the ones you love. And maybe you might feel supported by others crying with you then, who knows. I don't see someone working with strong values to improve their community as a stranger, though. I see them as a pretty solid and decent member of the human family that is a loss for everyone. I won't think about Jo Cox anything near as much as those who knew her personally, it's true, but from past experience I will think of her in contexts that remind me of her long after next week. And that won't reduce my personal resilience one whit.

Because it is an attempt at silencing. The silencing of someone who was upset. That's exactly why. It is Not Nice. Totally against the spirit of the site.

And it happens a lot.

I have only seen two threads on here about Jo Cox, purely because I have been busy elsewhere.

Other people spend a lot of time on here and I suspect that they have come to feel ownership of some of the boards. That's okay, natural even, but that can get out of hand and come over as silencing to the more casual, infrequent, posters.

I do wonder that if people are at the point of totting up the number of threads about a particular subject (that they supposedly don't care about) and responding to someone's palpable upset by telling them to use another thread, then perhaps the problem is not with the OP. If others are constantly trying to shut down the debate (without contributing materially to the debate) then perhaps that just might be an indicator of those individuals spending too much time on here and getting too invested in controlling what they see as their patch? Just a thought. It is the job of MNHQ to control the threads; not the self-appointed Mumsnet police.

It is very easy to read thread titles and just move on without commenting. The harsh replies just make the thread longer than it would have been anyway. So it usually has the very opposite result to the one that was supposedly intended.

Too many active threads about a subject that you don't care about? Don't comment on them. In 60 seconds they won't be active any more. You have your wish (but not your say).

I didn't realise we were only allowed a set number of threads on any given topic at any one time - is this something MN have introduced recently

Not sure but there was another post from MN saying that if the outside help thread got too much like the chicken pox thread it would be removed. Given the amount of offensive posts on here, not to mention gratuitous swearing, I think MN has better things to police than non-offensive threads that are similar to other non-offensive threads.

I also feel deeply sad about Jo Cox even though I'd never heard of her before yesterday. I feel quite hypocritical for that reason. I wonder if many of us have heightened emotions at the moment due to worry about the result next week and the effect the outcome may have on our day to day lives. Then something like this happens which appears to be related to the referendum and it is very very frightening for all of us - as well as terrible for her and her family and friends.

It's not an attempt at silencing , that's fucking ridiculous. We're pointing out 'grief trumps'

To start a thread stating how terribly upset you are suggests that your grief needs its own thread and that the other threads offering condolences ( that were up and well established) weren't good enough to spell out your grief.

I've put this on two other threads.
My condolences to the family concerned, that is all I have to say.

Did you know her personally? People get stabbed or shot everyday so why are you so upset about her and not them? Being an MP doesnt mean your life is more worthy over anyone else.

your grief needs its own thread

Exactly.

Not really, Navy, how could it? How about you?