AIBU not to go on holiday with the in laws?

[laidbackneko]

DP's parents have a annual tradition of going to a particular holiday destination since DP was born.

When DP and I got together four years ago, I was invited to join them and for a couple of years this became our annual holiday destination too.

However, last year I decided to go somewhere different as I only get one good stretch of holiday time a year and I wanted to experience new and different parts of the world.

This caused a lot of tension in DP's family and they were very displeased with me. After a lot of hoo-ha, DP decided to go on holiday with his parents again instead of joining me.

I'm pretty independent so I didn't mind going alone and had a brilliant time.

The same problem has come up again this year.

DP has decided though, this time, to come with me. And his parents are very upset.

I really don't want to cause problems between DP and his parents. And it's definitely not a case of rejecting their company which I have tried to explain - we visit them several times a year and telephone regularly. It's just that I don't want to go on the same holiday every year. And now neither does DP.

I'm being accused of being divisive and splitting the family unit up.

And while I understand that it's an unwelcome change to a long established family tradition, I also think it's a bit unreasonable of DP's parents to dictate our holidays.

Who is BU and WWYD?

Might be worth also to kindly point out that if you spend ten days of annual leave with them it's only fair up spend ten with your parents too and then you have less than a week for everything else!!!
Christmas sounds bonkers. Does DH wear a red suit and have a big bushy white beard?

I have a similar but different problem. IL's moved to Lanzarote when they retired in 2009. All of the holidays we've had since are either to see them or when they've come back to the UK, we've been somewhere - last summer was Scotland.

I get that DH wants to see his parents but they are in pretty good health, chose to leave the UK and after a couple of visits, Lanzarote's tourist thing is DONE!!

I've never been to Germany, or the States, or Scandinavia and I'd really like to, but we only have so much leave, and 2 weeks of this year's was used last month in Lanzarote.

Solution? No idea, but I love my husband and he knows how I feel, so for now, it is what it is.

badg3r

Loopy and mr loopy

I feel your pain, miaow. Would you consider travelling without your DH?

Dh flatly refused to holiday with his parents. We even travelled within 2 hours of them last summer (they live in other euro country). Caused huge hassle but they have been so unpleasant to him he doesn't want to risk there being any issues on our precious family holiday. Plus they are dull as ditchwater and bloody annoying.

Yanbu op.

I think my DH would travel with his mother given half a chance, but I don't think I would. But she has a travelling companion of her own age now instead, so she goes off with him for weeks on end. Which is great! Occasionally we meet up with her/them on their travels, for a couple of days, and I can just about hack that, but even that creates minor stresses because we have to discuss Every Last Fucking Detail about meeting, what we're doing, when we're meeting up, where we're going etc. But I can handle it for just a couple of days. Wouldn't be able to for much longer!