To think this was a bit tactless of the teacher

[callherwillow]

The teacher in question referred to friends daughter (Year 4) as 'bonny'. I realise that there are areas of the country where this is just a compliment without any other connotations but here it essentially means 'fat.'

The friends DD was a few minutes late due to helping set up the assembly and upon entering had gone to sit with her friends and was stopped by the teacher who tried to steer her to the year 6s and when she politely explained she was in year 4 the teacher commented (in a whole school assembly where the children could all hear her) 'well, you are a very bonny girl for year 4, aren't you?'

Not the teachers finest hour, I don't think?

Jessie do you have a perspective on whether the proposition that it is tactless for a teacher to call a child fat in front of a whole room of people is ever ok? Does anyone?

By the way I presume when you told me to move on from threads you did not mean to dictate how I should use MN because of course that would be ironic.

I think there is FAR TOO MUCH dictating on this thread generally

Let's cut to the chase - Ego is annoyed a teacher has been criticised, albeit mildly. So she is trying to get me to back down 'complain!' or to 'admit' I don't know my own dialect!

Either way she wants me to admit I'm wrong and is reluctant to let it drop.

To be honest Ego I don't want to discuss anything with you as you have been really very rude to me.

A teacher told my dd that she had a 'woman's' body because she couldn't fit into a size 12 drama costume

To be honest Ego I don't think we can really say whether it is a disciplining issue with the ambiguity around the language.

I personally would think if a teacher referred to a pupil as chubby or pudgy then that would be an issue. The other synonym of solid used here would be much less of an issue here, as where I am from, it has more strength connotations than fat.

Yes I do Numberone. I expressed it in my post of 08:43.

As to the "irony" of my telling you not to dictate to OP how she should use MN, I was asking you not to clog up and derail threads with your own opinion of whether OP is entitled to start the thread in a particular place. I argue that the effect of you taking my advice would be beneficial to all on MN except those who really enjoy a pointless spat. On the other hand, if OP takes your advice not to post unless she is sure her question is "suitable", it alienates posters and diminishes the MN experience for many.

Wow, so "fat" really is an ultimate public insult.
How does that work as an insult when most of us adults ARE FAT?
I presume words like "white" and "human" will soon be added to the banned insult list.

Exactly Ego it really does depend on what exactly the local connotations associated with bonny are.

Jessie you did not offer a contrary view to the proposition that teachers should be allowed call children fat in front of a room full of people at 8:43 . No one has, which is exactly the point that I and others have mentioned.

Generally in AIBU, people post a scenario where they would like to get different perspectives to critique whether their own perspective stands up to scrutiny. If there is only one possible perspective then it is not a great AIBU, in my opinion.

As it happens I think most people have found the derailment of this thread, with the issues around the ambiguity of language, the making of the thread.

Some utter twats on this thread - not you OP.

The implacable insistence that OP doesn't know what she's talking about and a load of Internet randoms do is making me laugh. But this an overwhelming feature of MN these days - in ability to understand that things might actually be different outside your own narrow experience of life.

OP I have heard of Bonny being used in that context - meaning bigger, taller, pushing limits size wise etc, there's a certain way it is said too that would emphasise it as a bit of a criticism but it's hard to explain that in writing isn't it? But I do know what you mean.

Private, genuinely, if it's come over as obsession I'm sorry.

But I was a bit hurt/upset/put out by the posts telling me, well, not to post - and I do feel rightly or wrongly harangued by Ego. I'm sorry if that's interpreted as a personal attack it's not meant that way it's just how I feel.

Again jessie and also nicki I'm very grateful.

I don't think calling a child chunky in the sort of context I explained was nasty, a sacking offence.

I think it lacked thought and tact.

Ego- your like a dog with a bone! Not surprised the OP feels harangued!

Ego look do you think you could please leave it now? I really feel you've made your point and there's nothing to be gained by making it over and over again.

You're