To think this was a bit tactless of the teacher

[callherwillow]

The teacher in question referred to friends daughter (Year 4) as 'bonny'. I realise that there are areas of the country where this is just a compliment without any other connotations but here it essentially means 'fat.'

The friends DD was a few minutes late due to helping set up the assembly and upon entering had gone to sit with her friends and was stopped by the teacher who tried to steer her to the year 6s and when she politely explained she was in year 4 the teacher commented (in a whole school assembly where the children could all hear her) 'well, you are a very bonny girl for year 4, aren't you?'

Not the teachers finest hour, I don't think?

Just read the OP but bonny means well, healthy not obese! I think you are way, way overthinking it OP.

OP

You seem to have a problem with Ego,

I think she does extend the same analysis to lots of threads. She questioned your assumption, which other people have done too

Ego - It is blatantly obvious what the teacher meant by bonny because of the situation and connect. If you can't understand that you are either remarkably stupid or for some reason you have decided to be a dick to the OP.

Bonnie Prince Charlie - (+good?)

Speed bonnie boat like a bird on the wing.... (good, strong, lovely but not necessarily pretty)

He promised to buy me a bunch of blue ribbons to tie up my bonnie brown hair... (beautiful - but how can hair be fat???)

Lovely word - but one I personally associate with age as well as region. A word that means one thing to me - middle class and 50- may mean totally the opposite to my next-door neighbour - 30 and super rich or my opposite neighbour - a not-so-rich teen. (Sick, wicked, fag etc).

And a word like "wee" which in London is a twee way of saying piss, in many places means small but in parts of Scotland and Northern Ireland means nothing in particular!! " Would like a wee cup of tea now, " " "Poor wee boy, are you hungry?" - But it depends on who is saying it.
If the woman did not intend to be anything other than friendly please just leave her alone to do her job!

I don't really have a problem with Ego at all. I always thought we were on friendly terms which is why I'm bemused by this probing. It really isn't that important! :)

But like I say it feels horrible when people make you explain your reason for posting over sensitive but I feel like I've done something wrong.

Ego I think for the final time, 'bonny' is a word that here is a nice way of saying chubby, chunky. Another poster has given similar examples - it's like 'well the uniforms only go up to size 16 and Jane is bonny so we may need to order an extra one.'

Anyway I'm trying not to engage as I do think she's gunning for a row.

Bonny here means... not obese, you wouldn't use it for someone really huge, unless you raised your eyebrow at the same time - you'd use it for someone chunky, solid, big, well built, plump, a bit round.
A young girl wouldn't like attention drawn to the attributes it describes, you could conclude.
It doesn't mean pretty here at all!

Dear God, OP I admire your resilience! This thread has really put me off Mumsnet with the amount of doggedly obtuse payers insisting that they know better than the OP about her local dialect!

I have only really been familiar with the Scottish "bonny" up until now (and here it clearly can't have connotations of "fat" as it is often paired with "wee" like "bonnie wee Jeannie McColl quoted upthread" but my only reaction to the OP saying it meant something different where she lives was "gosh, that's fascinating". I have learned a lot about regional dialect on MN - for example that parts of the U.K. spell "Mum" as "mom" or that a packed lunch is called a "pack up" in bits of the North.

Can you imagine someone from England swearing blind to a Scot that "wee" means piss and not small? I am 100% confident that none of the posters chuntering on here about how bonny doesn't mean chunky would try that argument.

OP I think that teachers should be extremely careful about making any comments on appearance, be they positive or negative. In Scotland the equivalent to that comment would be "you're a big lassie for primary 4 aren't you?" and could be very upsetting for a child already self-conscious about her stature. Somebody should have a quiet word.

Jessie

Aye- Correct!

callher I am not sure how MN can be of assistance to you on this one?

The only people who can answer the subtleties of this are people from your own area. The vast majority of people here cannot determine whether the teacher was being kindly or tactless because the very specific local variation you detailed does not apply nationally. You need to get on to your MN local page.

That said it is fascinating to note the teeny but yet significant variations in language.

No, I now know asking Mumsnet for anything is bad form.

numberone OP is already 100% sure what the word "bonny" meant when the teacher used it. She was stating this as background, not looking for advice.

Her AIBU was "am I right to think that the teacher was tactless to pass negative comment on a child's stature in front of the whole school".

Even if she meant big, surely bonny is still better than saying fat. So in her head she probably just meant 'you're a big girl for year 4' ie I wouldn't worry about it unless everyone knows (which I'm aware you've been saying) that bonny = fat and they'll have been saying 'can you believe miss said that she was fat????'

To be fair though you have asked MN something in aibu that only you can answer.

Talk about turning aibu on its head.

'I might be being unreasonable, I might not, but none of you can tell, how do you like that aibu?'

Pure evil genius. I love it.

Thank you Jessie that is exactly what I meant.

'am I right to think that the teacher was tactless to pass negative comment on a child's stature in front of the whole school'

Jessie surely that is not an aibu though is it? Surely everybody knows a teacher cannot and should not 'insult' a child in front of a whole class.

Sigh. We've established already I was very, very wrong to post this because some posters think the answer is clear cut.

Yeah of course because nobody ever posts on MN with questions tha have an obvious answer .

If you don't think the question is worth answering just ignore it and move on, don't take it on yourself to dictate how people should use the site.

I am really grateful for your responses Jessie and a few others.

Groan.

I take it as fat too it can mean either but in that situation it meant fat

Like a little dog with a bone :)

No, no longer playing. Woof. Fetch!