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Original poster

'Stocking filler' contact in phone

126 replies

Yummymummy159 · 13/06/2016 23:41

So back when I was 39 weeks prego I noticed my OH had texted a contact called 'stocking filler' saying 'happy birthday my little treasure have an amazing day you deserve it xxx'. Managed to work out it was someone who he slept with about 2 and a half years ago by stalking birthdays on Facebook but he still classes her as a close friend (even though I have never met her and we have been together 2 years?) she replied saying they should go for drinks with loads of kisses. So it was my birthday a few days later I didn't get the good morning text (he sets off at 5am) no massive fuss no nothing. My mum had been and got the present from him and he had given her the money like he put in no effort what so ever. I didn't say anything about 'stocking filler' texts despite it pissing me off and her contact name sounding dirty somehow? Anyway fast forward to yesterday. Looking for a contact in his messages so I can ask about a bbq at the weekend and I notice she has texted him since. Had a look and it said 'can't believe you've become a dilf already then the love heart eye emoji a few times when do I get to meet the little man. Can't wait to have a cuddle

OP posts:
IWouldLikeToSeeTheseMangoes · 16/06/2016 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicknameUsed · 16/06/2016 21:08

I think a wronged woman has every right to think that of a woman her partner is having a relationship with.

AnyFucker · 16/06/2016 21:10

Margaret I agree with you

The person at fault is the OP's partner. If he wasn't encouraging "stocking filler" there would be no issue here.

OP casually used the term "rallied" which is misogyny at it's finest. I thought "yuck" too.

You can hardly maintain the lofty high round when you refer to women as bikes. It makes you no better than the men who ride them.

BolshierAryaStark · 16/06/2016 21:46

Please stop referring to this woman in such derogatory terms, you don't know her & whilst she may be at fault it's your partner where the problem truly is. Pop on your big girl pants & have it out with him, fucking stocking filler-just disgusting.

WellDoYaPunk · 16/06/2016 21:53

I read it as op repeating the rallied thing not calling her that. But anyway I can understand the anger.
I think once the trust is broken the cracks only get deeper. How suspicious are you going to be after this? The seed of doubt is there now...

AnyFucker · 16/06/2016 22:00

Put it this way. Before op found messages where her partner is clearly as fully into "stocking filler" as she is into him, she was A-ok with women described as "rallied"

If that's the sort of person she thinks is worth half of fuck-all good luck to her. She would certainly need it, local bike or no local bike.

Original poster
Yummymummy159 · 17/06/2016 00:06

It's not that I'm mysogenistic what so ever (the men saying it about her may well be) but I would say exactly the same thing about a man if it was the other way around! It's not a sexist thing what so ever it's just the same as saying she is a loose woman or she gets around in my eyes!

OP posts:
blondieblondie · 17/06/2016 00:37

OP, how often does he see this woman? Were you aware that he does see her? I'm wondering about her saying she'll meet your baby, considering you've never met her.

GarlicSteak · 17/06/2016 05:32

Oh, rally -> Raleigh! Thanks, OP.

Good luck ...

AnyFucker · 17/06/2016 07:06

OP, you repeating what these men say supports their misogyny. Don't be that sort of woman. The sort that thinks if she joins in with demeaning other women that the spotlight won't fall on her.

But it has, hasn't it. Your bloke has disrespected you, like he disrespects all women. Just like his crummy mates that treat women like pieces of meat.

Janecc · 17/06/2016 07:16

If she's calling him dilf that would indicate they haven't slept together. He's being very disrespectful. As is she.

Are you going to confront him?

shockthemonkey · 17/06/2016 07:23

I don't know if dilf means they have not slept together... unless there's an alternative term for when you definitely are, such as dihf for instance.

Stocking filler is terrible, it reminds me of the joke about "Santa only comes once a year, but when he does he fills your stockings". So very heavy on the sexual inuendo there.

Disgusting behaviour from your dp.

Janecc · 17/06/2016 07:29

Yes shock you are correct. I should have said may not have slept together.

shockthemonkey · 17/06/2016 07:32

You're in the clear Jane, as you only said "would indicate".

No certainty either way and I'm with Jane and everyone else, this is foul and he needs confronting!

coconutpie · 17/06/2016 07:40

Did you confront him?

2beautifulkids · 17/06/2016 08:49

Please tell me you confronted him? He's either shagging her or planning to! Don't waste your time with him

LadyLayLay · 17/06/2016 08:53

Omg I would be fcking furious! I actually admire how calm you are about this. TBH I'd have ended it immediately. CBA for that shit. What a complete and total prick disrespectful man.

SlowJinn · 17/06/2016 09:13

You have a new baby and your husband is exchanging flirty texts with someone he once slept with? And you haven't confronted the sleazy git yet?

QueenArseClangers · 17/06/2016 10:19

How often does he go out drinking OP? And how old is your lovely baby?

Original poster
Yummymummy159 · 17/06/2016 16:00

When I was prego he went out a hell of a lot it was the only thing we have ever argued over. Because I don't go out I don't know how frequently he sees her and even if he did see her his friends would cover for him I know what they're like. LO is 10 weeks old

OP posts:
SlowJinn · 17/06/2016 16:16

He doesn't sound like a man who is ready for the responsibilities of fatherhood, let alone loyalty to the mother of his child.

Please tell me you haven't bought him a father's day card from your baby?

Janecc · 17/06/2016 16:21

He doesn't sound like a catch! He sounds really immature.

luckiestgirl · 17/06/2016 16:31

FGS he's obviously not cheating. Messages from the mistress do not say 'can't wait to meet your new child'.

This is just distasteful flirting.

Confront him if it makes you uncomfortable because it's not really appropriate, but I think a lot of people are jumping to conclusions here.

Greyponcho · 17/06/2016 16:48

luckiestgirl - I'm amazed at your certainty of this. Can you share tonight's lotto numbers with me please?
Reading this thread I felt sick - it's the same thing my ex was like with me when he was cheating - picking fights over the slightest thing, saying the OW was just a friend although I had never met her, sending each other secretive texts... trying to wear me down mentally (gas lighting me, basically), saying it was all paranoia. Thank god it was only a dog he said I abused and not children (good lord, I never hurt the thing EVER).
Maybe this woman wants the ready made family without the effort of giving birth? Maybe not. Either way, she knows your DP is spoken for & probably wouldn't be flirting so obviously without intention to do something about it.
Your DPs behaviour is disgusting though - such a seedy name to store her contact as; to not reply & say "was this text meant for someone else?" or "that's not appropriate", or simply blocking her if it persisted.
Maybe he thinks it's harmless he's bloody stupid if he does , but if it's upsetting you, then it clearly is causing harm.
Do you really trust him? Bear in mind the answer to that question when you confront him and he starts with excuses.
Sorry for your situation OP, you deserve to be treated with more respect Flowers

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 17/06/2016 18:14

Hand on heart I don't think he's cheating IMO, but it certainly sounds like he is keeping her in his pocket as insurance.

And actually you'd be surprised..,when my cousin was out for an evening after having her baby and leaving her LO with douche bag father, the other woman came round.

Never assume people have the same moral code as you.

She could be preening as a potential step mummy in waiting...