'Stocking filler' contact in phone

[Yummymummy159]

So back when I was 39 weeks prego I noticed my OH had texted a contact called 'stocking filler' saying 'happy birthday my little treasure have an amazing day you deserve it xxx'. Managed to work out it was someone who he slept with about 2 and a half years ago by stalking birthdays on Facebook but he still classes her as a close friend (even though I have never met her and we have been together 2 years?) she replied saying they should go for drinks with loads of kisses. So it was my birthday a few days later I didn't get the good morning text (he sets off at 5am) no massive fuss no nothing. My mum had been and got the present from him and he had given her the money like he put in no effort what so ever. I didn't say anything about 'stocking filler' texts despite it pissing me off and her contact name sounding dirty somehow? Anyway fast forward to yesterday. Looking for a contact in his messages so I can ask about a bbq at the weekend and I notice she has texted him since. Had a look and it said 'can't believe you've become a dilf already then the love heart eye emoji a few times when do I get to meet the little man. Can't wait to have a cuddle

Do you own or rent? Who's name is your house in? If it's yours I would pack his bags and leave! If it's both of yours idtell him to leave and if he won't do you have anywhere to go?

Ooh Mavis. I got the impression that her vag was the stocking that gets filled. But I'm vulgar to be honest

Definitely dodgy. Personally I couldn't sit by and do nothing, but as others have said, he will lie once confronted.

You don't need him to admit it to LTB. You say he is a jealous person - how does that manifest itself?

Omg I'd be absolutely fuming.

You need to confront him. Don't let him get away with it. Even if he's not slept with her he must find the thought enticing ' Stocking Filler '

She's a close friend and you've never met her. Those texts. She's his bit on the side.

And, yes, jealous typically equals cheater. The thinking goes like: he can't have you talking to other men because this means you might cheat on him with them. Why does he think that? Because if an attractive woman came onto him then he would be "unable" to resist and would cheat on you with them, that's how his world works. He will always take the opportunity and so he assumes you would too.

If you want evidence I would do what var123 and everyoneelsie say. If you can't be arsed with that, I'd just leave him.

I wouldn't "kick off". I'd dump him. Once a cheater always a cheater. Cut your losses.

What a shit.

I would change the number he has stored under 'stocking filler' to his mum's. Then he would find his stuff on the doorstep because you deserve better.

Sorry OP, what a bastard.

I'm just saddened by the lack of respect that OM & OW have for people. Sadly, it's rife

Oh god, that's gagging - Stocking Filler? Fucking hell OP, I'm sorry.

BTW, a quick one on contacts vs messages - my DP has an Android phone that shows the last 5 "communications" with a number/contact - so if he was to look at my contact page, he'd see the last 5 WA messages we'd sent lolling about an article. If he looked at his Mum's, he'd see she's rang him twice and sent him a WA message. I don't know if it's something he's got downloaded especially but when he's asked me to make a call to a contact in the car, when I've clicked on it I've seen it come up. So it is possible (although I'm not saying it is in this case) for someone to see communication via a contact page.

To be fair, if I was scrolling through my DP's phone for a contact and saw that name, I'd have my back up and want to investigate further.

if shes just a friend why have her listed as stocking filler thats the big question

if it was just banter he wouldnt care about her meeting u

Gabsalot makes a very valid point. Why not put her real name down? You could re name her something like "The Bike" then he'll know you know and perhaps he'll start to speak. He'll have to.

Yeah, i agree with above.
Jealous men are often cheaters.
He can't be trusted therefore he trusts no-one.
I wouldn't be happy about this at all.

I took 'stocking filler' to possibly mean she wears stockings for him (or did in the past) in the bedroom. Now i think it could be any of the other reasons mentioned as well.
But to add to the general consensus- the dilf/stocking filler/treasure thing is inappropriate. The whole thing is suspect.

If she's such a good friend, why hasn't he introduced you to her, and why doesn't he use her name in his phone?

To be honest, I'd be uncomfortable with a partner of mine remaining 'good friends' with any woman he'd slept with. I used to be very trusting, and like another poster earlier on said, I trusted my DH completely, didn't mind that he was good friends with a lesbian woman at work, didn't mind when they went on to nightclubs together after work outings etc...until her gf left her because she came home one night and found my(now ex) DH in a compromising situation with his 'good friend'. Who had obviously decided she wasn't a lesbian any more.

So no...I'm afraid i'd be mighty suspicious in your situation OP. Sorry.

I don't think he's been shagging her from those texts. Sounds like she would want to though!
The text about meeting the little man with kisses and love hearts may just generally refer to meeting the baby and some women do that anyway when talk of kids is involved?

The name is inappropriate though but maybe he's had her on his phone as that for years and just didn't get round to changing it.

I don't get why phones in relationships are meant to be closely guarded secret boxes that partners/husbands/wives must never look at. Fuck that. The only time dh is banned from my phone is when it's close to his birthday or Xmas and I don't want surprises spoiled!
OP you looking at his phone is NOTHING compared to what he's been doing. At best, he's an asshole and does not respect you one bit. And this "stocking filler" bitch also is being highly disrespectful to her "friend's" wife. Its an emotional affair.That is at best, but I think most likely, they're shagging. Kick his cheating ass out.

So sorry

And yes, I agree with pp who said OW would be crawling over broken glass and barbed wire before she got her paws on your new baby. The use of 'little man' itself is sufficient to hate her in my book.

But the person who is treating you badly with his inappropriate flirting / cheating is you OH. Is he worth sticking with, even though you will never trust him again, always have that niggle in the back of your mind, always watching his behaviour and checking his phone?

Definitely more than dodgy.

And your dh sounds a bit dim to not have this on lockdown.

Sorry OP - sounds shady AF.

I would confront him about it right now - if you keep silent, then it's going to eat away at you, and he's going to be none the wiser while he's getting his end away.

Sounds like a scumbag.

Coming back, OP?

K, so, he's cheating. Now you have to decide what to do.

I wouldn't bother with any 'don't let him contact her' nonsense, he's made his bed. Pack his bags and he can go live with 'stocking filler' if she's such a 'treasure'.

I think a lot of people's reactions here are dramatic. Pack his bags before having it out? If he had something to hide wouldn't he be more protective of his phone? It doesn't sound good but I really think it's worth getting to the bottom of it before freaking out.

I was going down his recent messages to text a mutual friend not look through his messages but contact name got me intrigued. I haven't confronted him in case he kicks off: they wouldn't really have a choice but to have me there if she was to meet baby because I breast feed and baby won't take a bottle but tbh I don't want to meet her she's not really my type of person she's always in town drinking and I have heard she has been 'rallied' by all of the men - so classy
I don't know if she's just under that from when they were seeing each other but I think it's appropriate either way but don't really think I should have to tell him to change it? Also I did think maybe the love heart eye emoji was aimed at the baby but if I was writing it if have put it after talking about the baby not being a dilf if that was the case? The whole thing has made me feel quite insecure because he regularly goes out drinking (I don't it's not my scene I don't drink apart from special occasions) and I don't know whether he is meeting her or whatever! Il have to have it out with him I think he has noticed I've been off he asked me what was up earlier but baby had just gone to sleep and I didn't want it to kick off!

You have a tiny baby, heis cheating on you and you are afraid to confront him because he'll "kick off".

This is an appalling situation and I really hope you can muster the support you need to get put of this toxic relationship.