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Original poster

'Stocking filler' contact in phone

126 replies

Yummymummy159 · 13/06/2016 23:41

So back when I was 39 weeks prego I noticed my OH had texted a contact called 'stocking filler' saying 'happy birthday my little treasure have an amazing day you deserve it xxx'. Managed to work out it was someone who he slept with about 2 and a half years ago by stalking birthdays on Facebook but he still classes her as a close friend (even though I have never met her and we have been together 2 years?) she replied saying they should go for drinks with loads of kisses. So it was my birthday a few days later I didn't get the good morning text (he sets off at 5am) no massive fuss no nothing. My mum had been and got the present from him and he had given her the money like he put in no effort what so ever. I didn't say anything about 'stocking filler' texts despite it pissing me off and her contact name sounding dirty somehow? Anyway fast forward to yesterday. Looking for a contact in his messages so I can ask about a bbq at the weekend and I notice she has texted him since. Had a look and it said 'can't believe you've become a dilf already then the love heart eye emoji a few times when do I get to meet the little man. Can't wait to have a cuddle

OP posts:
Gazelda · 14/06/2016 09:24

I'd be having it out with him.
Tell him you were looking for the contact, came across this text convo (including the birthday message) and how hurt and disappointed you are. Ask him if it's gone further.
tell him that you're not feeling very cherished at the moment, and that you're Now thinking that his attention is being diverted.
Ask him what sort of friendship he has with this woman, why you haven't met her and how he's going to make things right.
Your relationship is in trouble, but (if it were me), I'd consider this inappropriate and hurtful but not necessarily cheating and relationship ending.

TheNaze73 · 14/06/2016 09:27

I've tried to look here for an alternative reason or rationale for this but, I can't. He's definetly having a go on her. Stocking filler? She sounds like a delight. You deserve far better OP

GlitteryFluff · 14/06/2016 09:31

Definitely sounds bad.
I'd be confronting.

Cornberry · 14/06/2016 09:32

ugh I would be furious. However I don't think you should jump to the conclusion that they're sleeping together. Doesn't sound like it from the content of the texts. Sounds like just flirting to me but it is very inappropriate. The thing to do is to try and stop it getting out of hand and make it clear how it sounds. As you said, he'd hate it if you were having similar conversations with someone.

Ineedmorelemonpledge · 14/06/2016 09:34

I don't think I could stay with a guy that had a woman saved on his phone as "stocking filler" it's making me feel a bit queasy.

Even if there's nothing physical going on, these conversations are inappropriate. That's why they aren't shared with you.

Does he speak about her to you? Why haven't you been introduced if she's such a good friend?

She'd have to crawl over broken glass and barbed wire to cuddle my baby.

weeblueberry · 14/06/2016 09:35

I'd honestly be dropping the words stocking filler and DILF into every possible conversation I could and watch him squirm.

I agree it isn't necessarily sleeping together yet but heavy flirting which could go anywhere which is bang out of order.

bessie84 · 14/06/2016 09:40

christ, OP, you are strong for not saying something, id have blown my lid at the first text. get him confronted. x

Dogolphin · 14/06/2016 09:47

I'd be very tempted to issue divorce papers in a stocking on Christmas morning and get my revenge by living a happy lovely life!

LadyAntonella · 14/06/2016 09:52

Yuk. I also vote for watching him squirm. He is a pig (sorry OP) regardless of whether they are actually sleeping together - the texts are bad enough. If I were you I might actually ask someone in RL what they think of the language used in the texts so you know it's not just MNetters overreacting. I say that as I know from friends having similar problems that the cheating / flirting partner can weasel their way out of the most damning evidence and to top of off like to convince their partners that they are "crazy" for suspecting anything Sad.

LadyAntonella · 14/06/2016 09:56

*to top it off

HisNameWasPrinceAndHeWasFunky · 14/06/2016 09:57

can you take screen snaps of his phone (or photograph messages on your phone) - as he will no doubt delete and deny.

LagunaBubbles · 14/06/2016 09:59

He's jealous because he's not faithful

This Im afraid.

EveryoneElsie · 14/06/2016 10:01

I would change the phone number for 'stocking filler' in his contacts so it still appears active, block her actual number and watch him get all sad when she stops texting him.

ineedwine99 · 14/06/2016 10:08

I would be super pissed! First she's sending inappropriate messages to your OH then wanting cuddles with your baby?!
I would have it out with him big time, good luck Flowers

Branleuse · 14/06/2016 10:09

hes cheating

Var123 · 14/06/2016 10:12

EveryoneElsie That's evil... but brilliant.

I'd transpose to of the digits in the middle of the number e.g 25 becomes 52. Or buy yourself a cheap payg sim and put that number in under "Stockingfiller", then watch to see what texts he sends. Obvs block her number too.

EveryoneElsie · 14/06/2016 10:13

Var123 Grin

Whatsername17 · 14/06/2016 10:15

You need to confront him. That level of flirtation and 'close friendship' is not appropriate. He is also being secretive about it. Good luck.

Susiebearlove · 14/06/2016 10:18

Erm, the fact that she's called stocking filler indicates all she's good for. where does she live? Close by or far away? Do you know a mutual friend that could give any more details about her/him/them? I don't understand why they need to be in such contact now and I wouldn't be happy for her to be near my child for cuddles. Confronting him might challenge his privacy because I wouldn't be happy with my partner going through my phone even with nothing to hide.

MrsLion · 14/06/2016 10:21

Totally inappropriate and unacceptable. I'm afraid he's either shagging her, or working towards it.

Confront him directly and go from there.

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 14/06/2016 10:23

Even if he's not shagging or aiming to shag her, it's inappropriate. If you haven't met her, if not be wanting him to take the baby to meet her! Sounds like he's getting his kicks with her while you are the incubator for his DC. Not cool. Sorry OP Flowers

TheCrumpettyTree · 14/06/2016 10:24

Having someone in his phone as 'stocking filler' is horrible and inappropriate. If she was just a friend you'd know about her, and by her name.

Why does he get jealous? That's not good either is it.

OohMavis · 14/06/2016 10:25

Sorry, I'm with everyone else. They have been shagging.

Stocking filler sounds as though it's something to do with lingerie. As in, she fills stockings. My bet is a FWB kind of deal.

HairySubject · 14/06/2016 10:26

It sounds like cheating to me. I would not be happy with any of it. Sorry OP.

MrsLion · 14/06/2016 10:33

Re the phone and privacy, don't let this distract from the real issue, Dont feel guilty just call him on it and stand up to him:

Him: "How do you know this?? You had better not have been snooping through my phone!!!??!"

You: "Damn right I have."
"So what the fuck is going on with stocking filler?"

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