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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think If you see someone fall you check they are ok.

53 replies

MsColouring · 12/06/2016 13:29

Embarrassing - I fell over on my run yesterday (I am not terribly well do-ordinated). Was next to a park and there was a family right next to where I fell loading up their car who totally ignored me and someone else a bit further down the road. Was quite surprised no-one checked I was ok - I got up and carried on.

Dh reckons they just didn't say anything coz they realised I was embarressed.

OP posts:

Topseyt · 12/06/2016 13:58

I do agree with you. I like to ask if someone is OK if I see them fall, especially now that I have been the one in need of help from others.

In February I was visiting my student DD1, who was on her year abroad in Paris. I had a fall on some uneven ground outside the Louvre and badly broke my right arm. I was clearly not OK, and was very grateful to the lovely French lady and man who came up and helped get me into an office in the gatehouse, where proper help could be arranged. An ambulance was called and I was taken to hospital for emergency surgery.

Glad you were uninjured. Perhaps they were worried that they would embarrass you further, not that it is an excuse for ignoring you though.

littleshirleybeans · 12/06/2016 13:59

I would always help someone. I fell recently in the park, caught my foot on a stone and went headfirst with everything falling out of my bag.
A family behind me helped me up.
Same kind of thing happened as I was leaving a shopping centre which closed at 9pm. It was a Friday night and there was a late night teenage music event starting after hours, so loads of teens around.
A few of them came over to help me up.
I'd think it very weird not to help someone who fell.

BeJayKayven · 12/06/2016 14:02

Always! How ignorant to ignore someone who falls.

NamelessEnsign · 12/06/2016 14:03

I think you may be a little unreasonable .

I fell on some gravel this week and cut my knees and hands, and bruised my arm, shoulder, and hip. It was a full on splat and roll. There were several people nearby and no one made eye contact, but I was glad! I would have been embarrassed. I was clearly up and running again so didn't expect anything more than a wry smile at most.

Unless you couldn't recover and were struggling, I think most people wouldn't intervene.

EveryoneElsie · 12/06/2016 14:05

At least ask 'are you ok'. Dont leave someone to die from embarrassment...

beelover · 12/06/2016 14:07

I couldn't ignore anyone who has fallen over. I have witnessed several people trip and always checked they have been ok, surely that's just basic human decency.

KondosSecretJunkRoom · 12/06/2016 14:07

Oh, I agree with your dh.

I was running to stop my toddler running into the mother of all muddy puddles a few months ago and I slipped and slid passed my ds3 and right into the guts of the puddle. I was very grateful that no-one bothered me as I got up and hobbled all the way back to the car looking like swamp thing and praying I don't end up on You've been Framed.

Booboostwo · 12/06/2016 14:23

I'm with you OP. I always check on people who might have been hurt but of course I am sensitive to the possibility that they don't want help.

I was riding on a small lane quite a few years back and had a freak accident, my horse slipped in mud and fell sideways (I fell with him, not much choice!). Luckily I was not hurt but it was quite a sudden and scary fall and we were both winded. A walker was 10 yards behind us, I am sure she saw us as she made eye contact with me when I was on the ground, and just walked away. I couldn't believe it! I could have been seriously hurt for all she knew (she did not stick around long enough to see me get up).

NeedACleverNN · 12/06/2016 14:29

Yes and no

If I see someone fall and they are alone with no one going to attend I would automatically head over and check everything was OK.

If someone fell and people were already going to help, I would carry on walking as a bigger crowd means more embarassment and less help

AugustaFinkNottle · 12/06/2016 14:29

I've fallen two or three times out of sheer stupidity and I certainly feel embarrassed about it, but I've really appreciated the kindness of the people who have come to my assistance each time. I really think you should offer to help - people can be quite badly injured from what appears to be a relatively minor fall.

wonkylegs · 12/06/2016 14:30

I'd always check on somebody even if it was just a head tilt and a mouthed "are you ok?"
However when I fell and seriously damaged my knee in Ikea in a complete accident, I drew a crowd not one of whom offered me help or asked if I was ok but several did tell me I should sue! Thankfully the staff were fab and helped me up and sorted me out.

SirChenjin · 12/06/2016 14:36

I always check with a quick 'are you ok'. I fell on the ice last winter and a lovely man walking his dog stopped to see if I was OK - I just made a joke of it and said my pride was the only thing that was hurt. I can't understand how anyone could not do a simple check - imagine if the person was injured and you'd ignored them??

liz70 · 12/06/2016 15:31

Like Needs says I would go over and ask if they were all right if another person/people hadn't got there before me, or I were the only other person around. I wouldn't like a circle of people fussing over me, but a quick few words of concern would certainly be appreciated.

getlostdailyfail · 12/06/2016 15:35

I would rather people didn't ask because that would embarrass me even more!

WreckingBallsInsideMyHead · 12/06/2016 15:35

I fell in the street a few months ago and a lovely lady stopped and helped me up and offered to walk me home and carry my shopping (I thanked her but declined as I wasn't hurt just bruised)

iklboo · 12/06/2016 15:39

A bloke came out of Greggs a shop earlier this year & slipped on ice spilling his hot coffee everywhere. For some reason I became frightfully Enid Blyton & sort of trotted over saying 'Oh gosh, are you ok? Goodness, that was quite a tumble'.

CitaloPam · 12/06/2016 15:42

YANBU.

I was assaulted by a stranger on a main road. It happened during rush hour. Nobody stopped to see if I was OK, at one point I called out to a passer by for help but he shook his head.

DramaAlpaca · 12/06/2016 15:48

Of course you should check, it's just common decency.

I fell over in January & sprained my ankle. I was so incredibly touched that a lady stopped to help me, and that the drivers of four passing vehicles - including a bus - stopped to make sure I was OK.

A couple of years ago I came across an elderly woman who'd fallen over on an icy footpath. I stopped to see if she was OK, and DH & I helped her up & waited with her until her DH arrived. Thankfully she was unhurt, just shaken. I couldn't have left her.

TruJay · 12/06/2016 16:07

It completely baffles me how small the number of people who will help others actually is. People very rarely help anyone these days. I just cannot ignore people in need. Perhaps there are times where it hasn't been entirely wise of me to step in to certain situations but I still do.

Certainly if someone falls DH and myself always help. We've helped an elderly lady who took an awful tumble and split all her arm open. Everyone else just walked on by, it's so weird.

I once went flying down a hill with my toddler in my arms and son by my side, I slipped in mud and fell a long way down and landed in a bog at the bottom. Thankfully we were all ok and it was hilarious but we came to a stop right at the side of three women sat on a bench and not one of them asked if we were OK while I dug out and picked up my mud monster children. I would have been straight over to help but some people are just rotten.

Hope you're ok op

AugustaFinkNottle · 12/06/2016 16:42

I would rather people didn't ask because that would embarrass me even more!

But presumably you would be happy enough if you couldn't walk because you'd fractured or sprained something? The person who comes to help doesn't know whether you're just embarrassed or whether you will need quite a lot of help.

Maybe I've been lucky, but it really hasn't been my experience that people don't stop to help. I don't think there's ever been an occasion when I've seen someone fall and they've just been ignored, and likewise when I've fallen I've always been helped. It quite bolsters my faith in humanity.

OliviaStabler · 12/06/2016 16:50

Always! How ignorant to ignore someone who falls.

So true.

LuckySantangelo1 · 12/06/2016 16:59

It's the bystander effect. The probability of help is inversely related to the number of people present.

NamelessEnsign · 12/06/2016 17:02

I think there's a difference between stopping to help someone who is in ahead on the ground, or obviously hurt, and bothering someone who is already up on their feet again.

I would (and have) helped people who are hurt, but I have hyper mobility syndrome and my ankles roll over easily which has caused some rather special tumbles. I am always glad if I don't get anything more than a sympathetic smile once I am back on my feet.

But then again I'm reasonably young and bounce back, and I'm terribly introvert, so perhaps more extroverted types prefer a bit more acknowledgment.

JacquesHammer · 12/06/2016 18:12

I don't any more.

Having been horridly abused by a chap when I stopped (in my car) when he had fallen over on the pavement in the ice I'm afraid I don't bother anymore.

EveryoneElsie · 12/06/2016 18:13

Thats like saying you dont give to homeless people because one refused your sandwich.

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