AIBU to correct my cockney husband?!

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My husband is probably what you would describe as an 'East London cockney!' We have two young children. He will often say 'done' instead of 'did'. For example, 'I done the washing yesterday'. Kids have started to repeat this now. Whenever he says it now I am correcting him, no big deal, just saying 'did' when he says done. He is not taking it well and is getting really cross with me. Equally I am getting really cross with him when he says it as I now don't feel like I can say anything to him about it without having my head bitten off. I do appreciate that I am probably totally annoying him but I don't think it is fair on the children that they are getting confused over the English language because of him. So, AIBU? Maybe I should forget about correcting him and just focus on correcting the kids when they get it wrong? When I've read up on this though the advice seems to be that we should model the correct use of language to our kids rather than 'correcting' them. Any helpful advice would be appreciated! Thank you

DH is a cockney who speaks like a cockney (whereas I was also born within the sound of Bow Bells but veer more towards RP). The only time I would ever correct him is if we're in the middle of an argument because a) it takes the wind out of his sails, b) it REALLY winds him up and c) I'm not very nice sometimes.

I focus on DD1 in terms of grammar and pronunciation, in the same way DM did with me when I went to a south London school and started dropping my Ts. It's effective, if relentless. Although I have had to have conversations with DD1 to explain that yes, Auttie (pronounced with full glottal stop in the middle) DOES say wa'er, but we don't because there's a T in the middle of it...

My dh is as cockney as they come. Sometimes it annoys me.
I have a Welsh accent. However, both dc can speak standard English very well

Haha, this made me laugh - are you me? I'm a Welshie, Cockney dh, two dc who speak very well generally.

I do hear the occasional 'that's proper nice, that is' from them though...a full mix of cockney and S Wales dialects lol.

" Of course we do have many local (national) colloquialisms, but they are more particular words and phrases as opposed to ignoring grammar rules."

I got news for you Kaos, there ain't no 'grammar rules'.

Olivia - what a nasty post.

Olivia, that post is awful.

Olivia please tell us you're not an HRM?

That's shocking on two counts; The unofficial, unilateral decision to positively discriminate ( I was determined to hire a black person ) and then the obvious ( But unfortunately the black people I interviewed all....etc ).

Isn't MLE a regional dialect? How can you positively like regional accents but not like MLE?

reported Olivia

Olivia - your post is a demonstration of classism. I fail to see why an East London accent is in and of itself unprofessional. It might be difficult to understand though, which means that it'd be better to use standard pronunciation when meeting clients (particularly foreign ones). I am suprised that you didn't explain that to your applicants, who might simply have lived their lives being judged on merits concrete and not imaginary (such as accents), but then it doesn't seem like your motivation was for them to be able to communicate easily with non-East London speakers; it seems your motivation for a different accent was status-influenced and biased.

Perhaps third time is the charm - a dialect is not only a way of pronouncing a language, but also involves different aspects of grammar. Cockney as a dialect has a set of grammar rules. You have to adhere to these grammar rules within the confines of the dialect or you're speaking the dialect wrong. Then you might just have an accent, i.e. and East London accent. I am surprised that people keep being ignorant and referring to speaking "properly". Have we not already established on this thread that there is a difference between standard English and dialectal English?

If we're going to go on about annoying things, let's talk about that extra R a whole load of Brits tack on after words ending with a vowel. Like vanillar essence. I hear it on the telly all the time and it really grates. Feck right off with that one and leave the Cockneys alone. They are no more or less annoying than you.

One of the reasons I'm self employed is I don't have to deal with interviewers. They'd hate my accent but it didn't stop me setting up on my own and making a go of things.

funnily enough, banivani, when i was teaching English in Spain, one of my students complained to my boss that I 'didn't speak English properly' because i did not pronounce the R clearly at the end of words. ( as in , say, motor. Because I am from London the final R becomes a 'schwa'.)

Cheeky biatch!

grammar.about.com/od/fh/g/glottalstopterm.htm
A glottal stop is where you close the vocal cords to produce the /t/ rather than use your tongue on your alveolar ridge.

Sklodowska - Ha! I can well believe it! I have an Irish parent but have grown up in Sweden and on a regular basis Swedish English teachers have told me my pronunciation is wrong and wanted me to say "hair" and "here" like Peter Wimsey, lord. But to you add that annoying R? I can't watch British cooking programmes any more because VANILLAR ESSENCE. I have to wait for the Irish chefs, who of course speak like normal people.

I loathe it when my DP says "summat" in polite company (although I am from Yorkshire too) but I would never correct him as I'd sound like a dick and it doesn't really matter anyway.

2nds Michelle Mone may have a strong accent but I am pretty sure I have never heard her say "we done a great marketing campaign" or "I seen a good opportunity so I took it" or (to her fellow peers in the HL) "the problem is that youse dinnae understand the issues here".

Unlike Alan "was you the team leader?" Sugar I do admit.

banivani ha ha I am sitting here muttering 'vanillar, vanillar'.

The only good thing about was cockney ex was his cockney accent. He'd ruin it by trying to talk 'posh' but then failing by dropping in the 'dones' instead of 'dids', etc. I much preferred it when he was just himself as his original accent was much nicer - and his family were proper geezers kind of thing.

The only accent I ever want to compulsively correct is a Bristol one. That drives me nuts.

Monster. ;)

The only good thing about was cockney ex was his cockney accent. I love a cockney accent. In fact the only accent I hate is that completely neutral broadcasting accent which is not RP.

In Scotland, professionals like lawyers, doctors etc have Scottish accents of various types and we don't have so much of this judging people.

The only good thing about was cockney ex was his cockney accent. He'd ruin it by trying to talk 'posh' but then failing by dropping in the 'dones' instead of 'dids', etc.

He got that completely the wrong way round then. Just watch your grammar in formal situations, surely? Leave the accent be.

I do go weak at the knees for a proper cockney accent. There are less of them about now.

Banivani I hear that extra r every day here from my fella and yet he is the one that's first to pick me up on my 'mistakes'.

The latest Ribena advert plays on that unnecessary r, Ribenary, that was on our TVs every day for ages.

Leave it aht!

2nds All my sympathies.

I spent the two first seasons of Dr Who with the subtitles on because I couldn't understand Rose, but I wouldn't dream of "correcting" her "faulty" grammar.

joffrey me too. My own.