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AIBU?

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Original poster

To consider leaving dp for being such a miserable fucker

112 replies

Mugend · 12/06/2016 06:21

Name changed as I think do knows my normal username.

He's so miserable it drives me mad.
At home all he wants to do really is sit on his phone or play computer games (after ds is in bed)
But he has a temper and just gets in a fucking mood All. The. Time.
He never wants to do anything with me and ds, or just me, or just DS
And if he does he just moans the whole time about being tired, how busy is it, jow naughty ds is being, etc etc
He moans about fucking everything and it drives me mad, he doesn't seem to understand that it's not nice to live with and brings the mood down.
If I ever mention anything he says I want him to be perfect "oh sorry I'm not the perfect fucking boyfriend" er no, just pleasent to be around would be a start.
Trying to talk with him or joke with him is like drawing blood from a stone.
He's fine around his mates so it's clearly just me he can't be fucked with.
He never just gets on with stuff, e.G if ds wakes up at night (he's almost 3 but is having a phase of not sleeping) he gets in a massive mood about it.

Not explaining this well but we've only lived together a year (he is DS's dad, but me and ds lived alone before then) I just feel like I was maybe happier before.
Pretty sure he isn't depressed btw, plenty of enthusiaam for stuff he wants to do, just not at home.

It's so.depressing trying to have a laugh with someone who just goes "mmhmm" "yeah" "mmhmm' at you all the fucking time.
He'll talk to me if he wants sex, then when we're done will get up and out his headphones on and play computer games..

OP posts:
Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 17:11

Oh ffs just had a massive argument because he got in a mood (again) so I told him to just pack his shit and go. Not sure if he's actually going to go or is just dramatically packing stuff to continue the argument and not sure if I even want him to or not.l nut I'm sick of his fucking moody miserable shit

OP posts:
starry0ne · 12/06/2016 17:14

well this is one thing to follow through... otherwise he will beleive he can strop and get his own way...Funnily enough my 9 year old stropped up to his room when his tantrum didn't get him his own way..Seems like you are dealing with similar situation..Only he isn't a child just behaving like one.

Janecc · 12/06/2016 17:24

starry I think it sounds a very similar scenario.

Well done Mugend. I hope whatever happens you and your son will be happy.

Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 17:29

Basically my gran was having a family bbq today and his mum invited us over for dinner so I said we'd go to his mum's instead if he wanted, then she cancelled this morning and he didn't tell me until an hour after I was back from work and he hadn't got ds dressed or had a shower all day so it was too late to go to the bbq, if it was a one off it would be fine but it's like we never do ANYTHING that normal families do.
I phoned him on my lunch break so he could have told me then, got ds showered and stuff then I could have taken him. It sounds so petty but it's all the time and I'm just fed up. He didn't even have to go but he could atleast have gave ds a bath and got him dressed (ds was rwally filthy from getting home too late for a bath last night and sweaty and mud from the park so he did need a bath before going out really)

OP posts:
Janecc · 12/06/2016 17:31

Does he try to get you to distance yourself or isolate from your family as well?

Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 17:32

Apparently I'm acting like I'm his mother because I said that it's unfair that he spends all his time on the computer in the evenings and never talks to me unless it's before sex then goes straight back to the computer after.
Rambling here so I can see that I'm not being insane because he makes me feel like I am

OP posts:
Janecc · 12/06/2016 17:35

Then he can just go back to his mother and he can get exactly the same treatment from her. The bonus is he can give himself a hand job instead so he won't even need be "nagged" to talk. Angry

Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 17:35

Oh yeah he doesn't like my family at all.
My brother calls me on his walk home from work most days and he's always "why is he always fucking calling you" I have always been close to my brother that's why he calls me, cause er, he's my brother Hmm
And regarding the bbq "a bunch of dickhead I don't like" wtf. My my gran aunts parents etc are always nice to him and try to talk to him and its good for ds to see his cousins and family surely? Why are they dickheads for inviting us to a bbq? Apparently they're "making us go to this shitty bbq with a bunch of dickheads"

OP posts:
happypoobum · 12/06/2016 17:36

mugend seriously - do yourself and DS a favour and LET HIM GO!!!

I promise you, you will look back on this and think "What on earth was I doing with that prick?"

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 12/06/2016 17:39

If you are acting like his mother, that just means you're both right- he spends too much time on his computer and not enough time being a responsible adult and parent.

Help him pack.

Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 17:39

I honestly for some stupid reason thought that as the qeather is nicr it would be nice to go to a family bbq with ds. That's what normal people do isn't it? Do stuff and be happy. Not sit around and be miserable.

OP posts:
Janecc · 12/06/2016 17:39

He slags them off because he wants to control you and have you all to himself. This is his way of trying to make you distance yourself from him. Well done for not falling for this and giving him all the power. Many people have not had your strength of character. You need to get out, he's a nasty piece of work.

Janecc · 12/06/2016 17:40

Sorry "make you distance yourself from THEM"

Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 17:42

Janecc I think you're right, I know the reason he doesn't like my parents is because they helped me with ds when he wasn't and he knows that I can manage without him because I have good support and I don't think he likes that. And my parents have seen how much of a wanker he can be first hand when I still lived at home so he probably knows what they think of him. They're always nice to him though

OP posts:
girlywhirly · 12/06/2016 17:42

Demand keys back and change the locks anyway. If he has left anything behind you can chuck it in a bin bag and he can pick it up from outside the flat door.

Think the row was for the best, you don't have to be bound by his wants anymore.

ImperialBlether · 12/06/2016 17:45

Help him to pack his bags, OP - he'll get out twice as fast then.

pinkyredrose · 12/06/2016 17:46

Def get keys off him. He sounds horrible.

Mapless · 12/06/2016 17:53

Sounds like he will just make you miserable for as long as you are together. Think about how your DS will behave if he lives watching his dad behave like this to you! Then you could have two of them!! Do it for you and your DS.

When BF comes grovelling back, begging and promising to change - remember that you are breaking up and not living together for DS too. Ask a friend to help you out in case you relent and try to give in later. So she can give you a pep talk and rind you what an arse he is!!

Good luck!

Mapless · 12/06/2016 17:53

Remind!

MatildaTheCat · 12/06/2016 17:54

You need to mean it and do as the others have said. Change the locks, ignore calls and only communicate about contact with ds. Expect a charm offensive which is as sincere as a promise from David Cameron.

Nobody calls your family a dickhead. Ever. Even if they really didn't get on they are civilised.

I hope for your sake you are not pregnant. If you are take your time and have a serious think about how you want to proceed.

CharlotteCollins · 12/06/2016 17:56

Have you got the keys back yet?

If not, go and do it now.

This thread will be useful to remind you why you don't want him back, but for the moment focus on making sure he leaves.

Ignore any doubts you may have for now. Get him out. The place will seem so much more peaceful without him there.

HamletsSister · 12/06/2016 18:00

Sounds also like he is a bit addicted to gaming and the computer and becomes angry and difficult when you try to do anything that gets in the way of his addiction.

Not good for DS to grow up around this kind of behaviour.

ijustwannadance · 12/06/2016 18:15

He is a shit partner and a shit father yet you still thought trying for another baby was a great idea?! He clearly doesn't love you and probably thinks you trapped him. Was your DS planned?

He is a fucking child himself. Sulky arsehole type who hates any authority. You are better off without him and in the future when you find a loving and respectful partner you will realise just how bad this one was.

Original poster
Mugend · 12/06/2016 18:19

No ds wasn't planned (was 21 when I got pregnant didn't plan on kids until 30s) but I don't see how he could think I tricked him, he knew I wasn't on the pill etc and we're a bit lax with condoms when drunk.
It's just weird because it seems to logical but it's harder than that because it's my real life I suppose but I do know what is for the best I just wish it didn't happen on an argument. Might wait till ds is in bed and then try and talk to him without arguing

OP posts:
CharlotteCollins · 12/06/2016 18:24

So he's not leaving the house any more?

When you say you know what's for the best, what do you mean?

Ending it is unpleasant, but it ends. Living with him is unpleasant and ongoing!