To consider leaving dp for being such a miserable fucker

[Mugend]

Name changed as I think do knows my normal username.

He's so miserable it drives me mad.
At home all he wants to do really is sit on his phone or play computer games (after ds is in bed)
But he has a temper and just gets in a fucking mood All. The. Time.
He never wants to do anything with me and ds, or just me, or just DS
And if he does he just moans the whole time about being tired, how busy is it, jow naughty ds is being, etc etc
He moans about fucking everything and it drives me mad, he doesn't seem to understand that it's not nice to live with and brings the mood down.
If I ever mention anything he says I want him to be perfect "oh sorry I'm not the perfect fucking boyfriend" er no, just pleasent to be around would be a start.
Trying to talk with him or joke with him is like drawing blood from a stone.
He's fine around his mates so it's clearly just me he can't be fucked with.
He never just gets on with stuff, e.G if ds wakes up at night (he's almost 3 but is having a phase of not sleeping) he gets in a massive mood about it.

Not explaining this well but we've only lived together a year (he is DS's dad, but me and ds lived alone before then) I just feel like I was maybe happier before.
Pretty sure he isn't depressed btw, plenty of enthusiaam for stuff he wants to do, just not at home.

It's so.depressing trying to have a laugh with someone who just goes "mmhmm" "yeah" "mmhmm' at you all the fucking time.
He'll talk to me if he wants sex, then when we're done will get up and out his headphones on and play computer games..

[Whisky2014]

I don't think he is depressed just doesn't want to be an adult yet. My ex was like this. He played games, did nothing around the house etc you know what I did? Broke up with him! He moved back home to mummy and daddy and is still there 3 years later!

You don't need this loser around.

[Mugend]

He does pull his weight financially and around the house.
Before when we were living apart he was the same really, didn't seem to want to spend time with me and used to lie about going out (no idea why, I don't care if he goes out)
Same sort of thing before I was pregnant for example I asked him to come some here with me (theme park) then he j cited his friends and then they uninvited me and he went with them that's just an example but it's the kind of thing I mean if that makes sense?
We broke up before and he kept sending me letters and phoning me all the time, no idea why when he doesn't seem to like me at all.

[Gillywestinghaus]

Does he work?

[Mugend]

I just wish things were different, like the other day it was his turn for a lie in, me and ds were having a good morning just chilling and playing etc then DP wakes up and it's like the mood just changes, he doesn't get up and say good morning to ds he just starts getting moody straight away. He suggested we went out for the day (well, I suggested it then he was going to go out with his friend instead but I think my evils made him change his mind) but he was basically just in a rush to leave. We were walking through a park on the way back and ds was playing/running around etc and dp was just hurrying him up, it's like he doesn't know how to be more relaxed/have a nice time or atleast let ds have a nice time. And ds accidentally stepped in a puddle and it's "oh ffs I told you not to do that" but it wasn't his fault

[Mugend]

He does work

[Gillywestinghaus]

He doesn't want to be in the relationship as it stands.

[MozzieRocks]

Sorry it sounds like you and DS would have a wonderful life without him. You sound like a great Mom by the way.

[Birdsgottafly]

Some people are too selfish to be good partners, or parents.

Ive seen a lot of people stay in relationships like this and they've developed a friendship group, instead. But they still regret staying as they get older (I'm 48).

A lot of Women finally get enough confidence to be single, in their 30's or 40's.

It's either accept it and live as though you are single.
Give ultimatums and hope he can change, or fake it enough that your DS at least sees his childhood as pleasant.
Or end it and not have the frustration and resentment that you will have, very soon. As well as your self esteem/worth, eroded.

Can you live in a affectionate, loving free, relationship, for the rest of your life?

[ThoraGruntwhistle]

That sounds like an utterly unhappy grind of an existence for you and your son. Get out and give yourself a chance of happiness and some lighthearted moments.

[happypoobum]

Dear God this sounds exhaustingly awful!

Tell him the current situation isn't working for you and he needs to move back to his mums.

Today.

[Oldraver]

Just get rid...you and your son will be much happier

[Janecc]

Kids stand in puddles. That's part of the fun - jumping and getting soaked!!

He sounds really horrible. The whole thing sounds awful and the "ffs I told you not to do this" is abusive. You aren't doing your ds any favours.

And as for him chasing you when you split, I'm wondering if he is a bit narcissistic. Narcissists are charming, wonderful in the beginning, draw you in, get you addicted to their wonderfulness. Then overnight, they become moody and nasty, you can do nothing right and you desperately try to please but never can. Then when you split with him, he sent you letters, tried to get you to come back. Don't know if this sounds familiar.

[DeathByMascara]

I agree with everyone else but just want to say that the description of him as a dementor was a stroke of genius!

[Evergreen17]

I don't think he is depressed, I think he is a twat. I suffer from on and off depression and I dont treat people like that
Let's not add to the stigma
When I am depressed I dont play video games and am all fun with mates but miserable with others
He is an ungrateful muppet

[Evergreen17]

Dementor

[girlywhirly]

The only benefit to having him live with you that I can see, is that he pays his way and does a bit around the house. But he isn't a decent nice person to live with, or even a good parent to DS.

You would both be so much happier without him around. He is far too emotionally immature and self centred for a good relationship. Let his mother deal with him.

[amigoingabitcrazy]

Bloody hell leave the misserable prick. Enjoy your life with you DS without worrying about keeping the giant man baby happy!

[Onlymydogunderstandsme]

Your DP sounds just like my BIL who is also a miserable, stroppy fucker!
My lovely sister has to tiptoe around him so that he doesn't have a strop all the time and her personality has suffered because of it, she is not as happy and bubbly as she used to be but she puts up with it for the sake of their DS and she thinks she is doing the right thing. The truth of it is that BIL's behaviour has a negative effect on him and he's a much better behaved and happier boy when his Dad isn't around.
I'm not saying it's the same for you but your DP'S behaviour is likely having more of an effect on you and your DS than you think.
You would not be unreasonable to consider leaving him, life is too short.

[Lovewineandchocs]

Get rid! And come back and update us when you have you and your DS deserve a wonderful, loving, joyful life-let it start now!

[maisiejones]

He doesn't sound depressed. He sounds like a selfish shit. Just chuck him out.

[pinkyredrose]

He treats you badly and makes you unhappy. Sounds like he always has done. He's prob only with you for meals and sex. He's got no interest in being a partner or father.

You were happier before he moved in. It's a no brainer really isn't it.

[RiceCrispieTreats]

I just wish things were different

Yes, but this is the way they are. This is the person he is.
Can you accept that?

We broke up before and he kept sending me letters and phoning me all the time, no idea why when he doesn't seem to like me at all.

You perform a function that he finds you useful. I suspect that he finds you useful as a sex provider, homemaker, and child caretaker. That's what he wants to hang on to to. Plus it was probably galling for such a selfish man to have you walk out on him, so you needed to be reined back in: you're there to service him, after all, not to have any autonomy of your own. But he doesn't care for you, as a person in your own right.

[Mugend]

Yeah I think I know what I have to do.
There is however also a chance that I might be pregnant (stupid decision now I think I was deluded or something) so I am going to wait a week to see how that plays out atleast. But i think either way, I'm 25 so I have ages of life left (hopefully!) Most of my friends are single/not in serious relationships yet so there's plenty of time to be on my own u til ds is a bit older then maybe meet someone else. He was also fucking horrible to be after an abortion and whilst I had hypermesis (which is why I had the abortion, was being made to feel guilty for feeling sick) and during some mental health issues I had. I think he's had far too many chances and when writing it down here I feel like an idiot.
I think his attitude definitely effects DS, he's much better behaved when it's just us and always plays up when dp is around.

[RiceCrispieTreats]

I might be pregnant so I am going to wait a week to see how that plays out atleast.

How much more helpful will it be to have him around as you go through the stress of waiting to see if you are pregnant, and dealing with the outcome? How much less helpful will it be to have him around? What did the experience of your last pregnancy teach you about what he brings to your mental health at such a time?

[BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted]

He was fucking horrible to you after you had an abortion and he's fucking horrible to you now. It's a no-brainer whether you're currently pregnant or not.

You're shackled to a miserable joy-sucking vampire. Except the shackles are of your own making, so you can change this if you want to. I think you really need to for the sake of your child if you can't think of yourself. He's doing terrible damage to you both.