To consider leaving dp for being such a miserable fucker

[Mugend]

Name changed as I think do knows my normal username.

He's so miserable it drives me mad.
At home all he wants to do really is sit on his phone or play computer games (after ds is in bed)
But he has a temper and just gets in a fucking mood All. The. Time.
He never wants to do anything with me and ds, or just me, or just DS
And if he does he just moans the whole time about being tired, how busy is it, jow naughty ds is being, etc etc
He moans about fucking everything and it drives me mad, he doesn't seem to understand that it's not nice to live with and brings the mood down.
If I ever mention anything he says I want him to be perfect "oh sorry I'm not the perfect fucking boyfriend" er no, just pleasent to be around would be a start.
Trying to talk with him or joke with him is like drawing blood from a stone.
He's fine around his mates so it's clearly just me he can't be fucked with.
He never just gets on with stuff, e.G if ds wakes up at night (he's almost 3 but is having a phase of not sleeping) he gets in a massive mood about it.

Not explaining this well but we've only lived together a year (he is DS's dad, but me and ds lived alone before then) I just feel like I was maybe happier before.
Pretty sure he isn't depressed btw, plenty of enthusiaam for stuff he wants to do, just not at home.

It's so.depressing trying to have a laugh with someone who just goes "mmhmm" "yeah" "mmhmm' at you all the fucking time.
He'll talk to me if he wants sex, then when we're done will get up and out his headphones on and play computer games..

[ErNope]

I'd agree about the depression
ashamed to say that during a depressive episode I act the same BUT Op states clearly it is only with her and he is fine with everyone else. I'm not a betting woman but I'd bet my last pound that he resents parenthood/life as a family and sees it as a betrayal of his freedom or something. Frank discussion. Give him x time (I'd say 2-4 weeks, all depends what you think is ok) to get his arse into gear. if he doesn't do NOT go back on your word and give him the bloody boot.
Don't remind him during this time that you have an ultimatum 'running' give him the rope to hang himself.
OR just kick him out (Obvs don't be a dick about it give him some notice etc) You seem to be hesitant to do this so maybe the above would help you get it into perspective, gives him a chance to show he's not a miserable c*nt and means you can always say you were more than fair. Hope you make the right choice (for you, not me or anyone else posting)

[JayDot500]

Oh gosh I had a step dad like this! Let him go, bring happiness back!.. or the very real threat may provoke change for the better.

[Rachel0Greep]

I'd ask him to leave. It's not healthy for you, or your child living like that.
I wouldn't say 'he has x weeks to change, and if not then he leaves'. Because chances are, he will act a part for a few weeks, then revert to being miserable around you. Show him the door.

[KatharinaRosalie]

oh it's such a drag to live with someone like that. And he does not seem to be adding anything to your or his child's life. Kick him out.

[OohMavis]

You and your child have done nothing to deserve having the joy sucked out of your lives.

I'm going to guess that he doesn't pull his weight around the house, either. Am I right?

[minesapintofwine]

mug wow I could have written your post.

Only you can decide if leaving is the best option for you. You don't sound happy. My Dh makes me feel like this, but there are good times and I love him and that's why I stay. Is there anything good about this relationship? If not then I would leave.

[starry0ne]

How was he with DS before you lived together. how was he with you..I have seen relationships like this where man sounds all time on computer and then can't be bothered to do anything else..In fact for me when my laptop had to be repaired I realised I spent far too much time online and cut right back till ds is in bed. or a mooch around in the morning..

I guess it would depend for me how it was before..If it has always been an effort kick him into touch he is not your problem to solve. You already have a child to raise.

If he was previously great fun and you want to try make it work..Tell him he needs to shape up or ship out.

You and your DS deserve better.

[Anicechocolatecake]

Life is just too short to spend it with someone like this. There is so much more to life than sitting moping in computer games. Your dd needs to see that. At the moment your dp is modelling how life should be and there is a risk your ds will grow up thinking that's normal. That would be tragic!
I have a feeling you would do absolutely fine on your own and life would feel much happier. Just because you love someone, doesn't mean you to have be with them. I read that once and it was so liberating. Expect better from life! For your ds if not for you.

[Piggyinthemidriff]

I think he doesn't love you. You could get this sort of treatment from any random bloke you met on the street, but to be living with someone and planning a life together... Without joy, and laughs and a huge interest in each other it will all just wither and die.

Let him go. It sounds like it's what he wants, and have yourself a chance at a life with joy and laughter and delight in it. I wish you all the best.

[DavetheCat2001]

Sorry I have to agree with everyone else. Get rid.

I had a boyfriend like that some years ago. Fortunately there were no kids involved, but he was such a moody bastard to live with and had a nasty temper if things weren't going his way. He used to practically ignore me most of the time, only come alive around his mates and generally brought a black cloud over my life.

I chucked him out. Best thing I ever did.

Life is too short.

[DavetheCat2001]

Oh and just to add..my mother always said that anything that annoys you about a man in his 20's, will still be there but worse in his 30's, and by his 40's/50's and beyond drive you to distraction.

They don't change, they only get worse.

[Branleuse]

tell him to move back to his fucking mothers if he cant put any effort into home or the relationship.

In fact move back anyway. He sounds like a soul sucking energy vampire. You dont have to live like that

[Justpulltheplaster]

I've got a thread about the same thing in relationships.

It's bloody exhausting isn't it

[molyholy]

Omg, dump the miserable bastard. You are not endebted to him. He is bringing you down. He will bring your dc down. Don't allow it!!!

[plimsolls]

He doesn't sound miserable as in sad or depressed. He sounds rude and like he treats you really badly with no respect for you as a real, living, breathing person.

There'd be nothing mean about you telling him you've had enough at all.

[Janecc]

So you're a hole to fuck when it suits him. Sorry to be so blunt. I'm really cross for you.

Unless and until he can grow up, you've got 2 children and the elder one is stuck in sulky teenager.

I would boot him out. He can then decide if he wants to be no contact dad or something better for your ds.

You're young and so is your ds. You'll cope just fine as you did before and find happiness again as a mummy/ds team.

[AnthonyPandy]

If you feel sorry for anyone, feel sorry for his mother who is going to have a lovely housemate very soon!

[Kitsa]

Yeah I'm not sure he sounds depressed to me. More like he's used to being more alone/only pleasing himself and he hasn't really made the transition.

At 26 he went from living with his mum to living with you? and he just likes video games and seeing his friends? doesn't sound like he has a whole lot going for him.

Do you need emotional dead weight in your life? I would ask him to leave and see how it feels, you don't even have to split up, just say you want to try living apart for a while as living together isn't working out.

[SouthWesterlyWinds]

So computer games and going out to play with his mates then? Man child. Kick him out - the cold realisation that he can't treat people this way might make or break him.

[redexpat]

Why would you want to live with a dementor?

[LumpySpacedPrincess]

Does he pull his weight around the home, contribute financially?

I'm betting not.

Do not waste your life on someone like this.

[timeisnotaline]

Don't give him a couple of weeks, tempting though it might be. He will force out a couple of grumpy good mornings and expect you to slaughter the fatted calf for the changed man he is. If my dh was only chatty when he wanted sex and put his headphones on afterwards there would have been no sex for a long long time.

[gamerwidow]

You and your ds deserve better. You should feel happy and comfortable in your home not feeling like everything you do is an inconvenience to your DP. Kick him out and start having fun with with your ds and your friends and family instead.

[70isaLimitNotaTarget]

Your new nickname

Mugend

The End of being a Mug

You chose that so really, deep down (or maybe not so deep down, I'd say right on the surface obvious) you know you are a Mug. And it Ends.

YY to all above.
When he's out with his mates, pack his bags. If not before.