Lost sunglasses. Who is BU?

[Pebbles16]

Out today with DH (although he's not v D at the mo). Sunny then poured with rain so he gave me his sunglasses (I always have to take a huge bag for his sunglasses, orthotics, jumper etc). Then sun came back out, looked for glasses, not there. Admittedly they are Ray Bans so not cheap and he loves them but it's entirely my fault. I was careless. I don't care about his things. I have no idea where they went. I didn't deliberately lose them. There is a whole other thread about his subsequent behaviour but I can't help thinking it's not actually my fault. Honestly don't know how they disappeared.

I think you should offer to replace the sunglasses as they did go missing in your care. Never carry any of his crap again though!

Ilostit thanks for the flowers.

Fuxache he sounds like a cock. Get him a backpack and let him know he starts to be a grown up the second you give it to him.

He can carry his own feet from now on and everything else.

I'm wondering if this is a symptom of bag fear that I have noticed amongst some men. I always take out a cloth bag to put random crap in knowing that DH will say "I'll carry that for you" so he can also put his crap in it too. All good and fine, he carries it. But if one of his more twatty mates sees it they'll inevitably say something pathetic like " ooh kondo's DH, I like your baa-ag" in a dick emery voice. For some men holding a bag puts them in danger if being seen as camp. Do you think that this is the root cause of your husband's problem or is it just laziness?

It sounds like you know he is a man-child but weirdly you're taking the flak for 'losing' his sunnies.
He's a grown man and should be carting his own shit around. Tell the child to carry his own toys. Jesus.
You helped. You did nothing wrong

I agree Kondo with your point about bag fear My dh is the same but does manage to stuff most of his belongings into his pockets. He's broken a lot of bank cards because he puts them into the back pockets of his jeans. I will carry the odd item for him.

However, no one should have to be forced to sniff their husband's cheesy insoles everytime they rummage in their handbag, that's asking too much.

So he gets to have you carry around his stuff and also bear responsibility for it so he can moan at you when something gets lost?

Technically it's your fault (I know you accept that) as you took ownership of them.

However I can't get over how your carry all his stuff. It's ridiculous.

If we are out and about I may put dhs stuff in my bag. But then sometimes he will shove my stuff in his pockets.

But neither expect the other one to be pack horse.

Ugh god OP. Yep VERY precious feet. Sorry but he is a daft sod who needs to learn his feet won't bloody fall off and just deal with it.

Object to carrying anything now.

I don't get the man bag fear my OH often carries my handbag. But I guess the bag fear explains the tiny dog fear. I know men who won't take a chiuahuha out for a walk for similar reasons.

Masculinity is so fragile

The glasses may be your fault.

But that's not the real issue, I suspect if it was a one off that he gave them to you, you wouldn't be so annoyed.

Why the hell cant he carry his own stuff?!? Stop it now!

You sound very resentful of carrying his things, which is very understandable, but how have you never refused? In 22 years, you've just kept carrying it for him?

I don't mind putting things in my bag for other people but there wouldn't be anything gross like insoles and the person should be appreciative. Not making tributes for me, but you know, grateful.

Dh used to do this. I got sick of it. So went small handbag. It fits onky the things I want to carry.

Drives Dh crazy now that I don't have space for his phone wallet keys glasses book water etc.

Even if you did lose the sunglasses from your bag, it presumably was an accident and not because you'd, I don't know, left it unzipped and swung it round your head or something. So, unless you were very very careless with the sunglasses after you'd said you'd look after them, I don't think you really need to be blamed for losing them at all, and definitely not to the extent of your DH's current overreaction. And it sounds like they weren't even definitely in your bag anyway!

He's being pathetic and childish. How tedious for you.

And yes, now you can stop carrying his things for him.

If you had asked to borrow them then you would be u, however as he asked you to carry them you are definitely not u

(and another voice to the stop carrying his shit)

Get him one of those lovely chains for his glasses. But don't forget to take the plug off first.

I don't think you're unreasonable. They got lost, shit happens. It wasn't deliberate and you've apologised.

DH used to be a bit like this. I'd carry a bag and he'd say 'can you just stick this in your bag' and before I knew it I'd have his keys, wallet, sunglasses, etc, etc.

I don't bother with a bag these days, phone, keys and cash/card go in my pockets.

As an aside, I'm also at a festival this weekend. I ain't carrying no one's shit!

Sounds like Twinkletoes has scored a bit of an own goal by being such a knob about the sunnies - now he's accused you of being careless etc., he'll surely have to follow through and start taking responsibility for his own crap.

He sounds like hard work.

Get him this

My partner would be exactly the same and blame me, where as if I give him something to look after of mine e.g money if I have no pockets I completely understand if it ended up lost its my own fault for making my items his responsibilty I would not make him feel crap about it.

Man child!

I would be getting a Thomas the Tank Engine or Paw Patrol backpack like my toddler has. It seems they are both the same level of maturity.

This does remind me of when I was heavily pregnant and using a wheelchair. DP was pushing the chair and asked me to hold his wallet. I said no, I'm infamous for dropping things, keep it yourself!

Oh no, we are going between two shops he said. On your head be it, I said!

When we got to the shop,sure enough the wallet was gone! We found it fairly quickly, but DP got short shrift when he tried to blame it on me!

OldDear That's brilliant, you could fit a small car in there and a whole shoe collection for any occasion . Obviously, you would take turns carrying it..

Well, yes. You'd manage a few insoles in there for his delicate hooves, the wee lamb.

I like a man with a man bag, it says he realises he is responsible for 'stuff'.

It is quite funny when DW and I got out with our good friends, a wife and husband couple. We all like a certain make of bag (Scaramanga) and all have one or two of them.
We look like members of a bag cult and the DH gets a bit twitchy about it.
It makes the rest of us giggle but we do take other bags to swop so he doesn't feel so conspicuous.

Men should embrace 'camp', if carrying things is camp(?) so that it loses a negative connotation, then they can proudly carry all the crap they need just as much as the other members of their family.

Especially shoe inserts! Carry your own cheesy inner soles, OP's partner!