Lost sunglasses. Who is BU?

[Pebbles16]

Out today with DH (although he's not v D at the mo). Sunny then poured with rain so he gave me his sunglasses (I always have to take a huge bag for his sunglasses, orthotics, jumper etc). Then sun came back out, looked for glasses, not there. Admittedly they are Ray Bans so not cheap and he loves them but it's entirely my fault. I was careless. I don't care about his things. I have no idea where they went. I didn't deliberately lose them. There is a whole other thread about his subsequent behaviour but I can't help thinking it's not actually my fault. Honestly don't know how they disappeared.

Agree with the others, take responsibility for the sunglasses and buy a small handbag and refuse to carry any of his things from now on.

Bluebell. They are orthotic insoles

Orthotics are supportive inserts to go inside the shoes

WTF would you cart around your DHs stuff? Assuming he is not disabled of course.

If he wants a selection of shoes (WTF) he carries them himself. If he wants to take his sunglasses off, he puts them in his jacket pocket or the top of his head, like everyone else.

Oh OK sorry

Seriously? This is bizarre - unless Dh has a serious disability that prevents him from carrying a bag, why on earth are you in charge of carting around all his shite?

Alanthicke I have said I'm sorry but pointed out it wasn't deliberate. His response was that I still have all my things so I wasn't taking care of his things.

I always have to take a huge bag for his sunglasses, orthotics, jumper etc
Are you his mother?

Also a tip from the top as an older person.

Sunglasses will always get lost, left on trains, sat or stood upon, abandoned on beaches, left in restaurants, forgotten about in cars.

Expensive sunglasses are nice, but no more immune to this fate. If you spend a great deal on a pair your must factor in this risk.
I buy cheap and in bulk.

Get a smaller handbag - I deliberately take a small one if I'm out with DH, otherwise he offloads his glasses, inhaler, leaflets, other crap as he "doesn't like having it in his pockets" I don't fucking like having it in my bag . He never gives me his wallet - funny that!

Make him carry his own shit. Problem solved.

Oh ok I get it now. You carry around several pairs of orthotic insoles NOT shoes.

Not that that is acceptable either. Tell him "No, I won't put your stuff in my bag. Buy your own bag, bitch" (sorry, saw a FB meme like this today 😂)

I solved this rubbish by not carrying handbags. I have jackets with pockets and jeans with pockets. I have a wallet not a purse. Travel lighter OP.

OP your DP may have behaved badly but you would have a stronger position if you took responsibility for losing the glasses. Baffled or not, you did lose them.

No, she may not have, in that they were in and out all day.
Seems like the OP is not only a pack horse but a scapegoat too.

Is this what you signed up for OP?

are you at a busy festival OP?

Is it at all possible someone could've taken them?

I mean, he could've put them down, assumed you had them and they were nabbed or you could've put them down.

An expensive brand like that would be easy to sell on.

Also - wtf does he need extra ones? Honestly I am confused on that part because I need to used them too but usually I keep them in my shoes and use the same pair all day.

This is the reason that my sunglasses are Ray Bans and DH's are £5 Tesco jobs! He must have spent a pair of RBs on annual replacements since the day I met him.

Pearly I only have cheap sunglasses for this reason (I suspect that's why he suspects me of not treating his glasses like precious diamonds)

Doreen. I seem to have signed up for many weird things (they have "emerged" over the past 22 years!)

Twatbadger. The glasses thing is a possibility. It's so weird. They were with him, me, him, me gone! Who knows?!
The shoes thing is ridiculous. He has terribly precious feet for someone who is not a professional footballer or ballet dancer!

Erm, it's a pair of sunglasses. Say 'I'm sorry, I misplaced your sunglasses.' Then buy a new pair of sunglasses. Do not lose the next pair of sunglasses. Although, of course, if you do you can repeat aforementioned steps. Life is too short for either of you to be having a big hoo hah over this, surely. Pour a wine, have it off, go specs shopping in the morning.

I'd tell him to wind his neck in 😈. My DH tries this shit with me. The thing that drives me most nuts is when he asks if I've got tissues...yes, I have, and you're a grown man heading towards 50, FFS, take your own hanky/tissues in one of your many pockets you see this is a real sore point

Why should the OP take responsibility for another adult's belongings? He asked her to mind them, which she agreed to. However, she's not infallible. She didn't intend to lose them. It was an accident. Accidents happen. It's not like she was chucking them around the place, and they got broken, or lost that way. Grown adults don't get to give their belongings to somebody else because they don't want the hassle of minding them, and then give out when they got lost as a result of an accident. Sure why would you ever carry your own belongings again?