I'm probably being unreasonable but aibu to feel like mil is being selfish.

[Feelingsolow12345]

we're driving a 2 and half hour trip today for a long weekend away. the original plan was to stop off at the service station half way through our journey so the little one can have a kick about and a feed. now she's saying we ain't stopping we're driving all the way there. DP and I think that's selfish as she just wants to get there quicker and is forgetting we have a 21 week old in the car too.

He needs to stop it NOW that is completely unacceptable

I know and I've told him all this. he said tomorrow will be all about me and if anyone has a problem he will deal with them.

Go home, lovely. That's the fastest way to put an end to this bullshit.

My ex mil pushed me out of the way and nearly over to change ds at a few weeks old. I was wobbly from a cs, not sleeping and having a new baby. It was early hours.

We left ( holiday cottage, fucking madness and it was only due to a warped sense of duty to in laws I agreed to it).

She didn't stop mind you but I just smiled and said " oh, I don't think so" every time she overstepped after that. Unfortunately she upped her game, but that is a whole other thread(!)

Yeah, at the time my ex dh said the same. Only the next day they all fucked off sight seeing leaving me home alone in the holiday cottage with a newborn, not much mobility due to the cs and intermittently sobbing with misery. They tried to take the baby but as I was bf ( ex mil rolled her eyes) they couldn't.

Partially agreeing with lavender

Dh gets ONE chance to sort this NOT by waiting until 'anyone has a problem' but by speaking with her first thing tomorrow. Far better to calmly preempt anything.

If he doesn't, or she doesn't take it on board - go home WITH baby.

she's going home to say and we're staying longer. DP is really upset he never noticed and has been making sure I'm fine.

he just woke up and she tried to rush to get to him saying I thought you didn't hear him cry (the monitor is right next to my head. plus he would have been in our room but the travel cot is way too big)

I know it's all done now but your MIL's travel arrangements reminded me of the episode of The Big Bang Theory where Sheldon appointed himself "road trip supervisor" and communicated with the other car in the convoy dictating when they could drink and pee.

Meant to say communicated with the other car in the convoy by walkie talkie

Dp talking to you...ok but what's he saying/said to her?

She is way overstepping boundaries.

Hope you enjoy the rest of the trip.

that made me laugh about Sheldon. That's her all over if she was allowed a walkie talkie.

I'm not quite sure what he's going to say as we was talking late at night and when we got back they was all in bed.

she went we could have a lie in and when she wakes up she'll sort him out. so I thought great I just got out and found out she didn't give him his antibiotics cause she didnt bother looking on the bottle to see how much to give him.

Did you explain when to give him his antibiotics? Personally I would have also been telling her how much antibiotics to give as well. Medication has changed a lot since I was little so she may have been concerned. I was brought up on aspirin.

As long as it is more than 4 hours before his next dose, giving it late is fine.

I am not trying to defend her. However, please don't set her up for failure either.

Feeling, What is this outing that you're on with your MIL? It's obviously past the drive there now and you've done it your way (good for you!). I can't imagine what appeal a convoy situation would have but perhaps your MIL is of a generation where absolute synchronisation is essential - and ultimate control for her as matriarch is expected.

Lavenderhoney... your MIL sounds like a piece of work. Why is she like this? What is your husband doing to support you?

I can't imagine why anyone would ride in back with the baby souper, if he or she wasn't fussy.

Two and a half hours isn't a long drive but I'm glad you stopped. If you want to it's none of her business! She sounds really interfering and your DH should tell her to back off.

my DP told her own much to give it and I told her the day we got here.

also her response was she doesn't want to be branded as the person who gives him nasty stuff not helping him

She can go for 2.5hours without a wee ? Presumably shes not thst young ...Respect .

In that case, what a silly woman she is. Sounds just like the sort of stupid thing my mother would say.

I suppose for you, lesson learned on the having a lie in unfortunately. She will therefore take every opportunity to undermine you and cannot be trusted at all.

Have you read much online on narcissism?

I don't know how she can hold herself that long. and yep no more lie ins if we ever (God forbid) go away with her again.

and nope I've never even heard of it until I started to see it on mn

At least DP is on board with you and is supportive. Don't be surprised if she turns on the waterworks and he backtracks a bit. He has probably spent his whole life being conditioned to do exactly as MIL says.

I think you should distance yourself from her, stop telling her your plans and just do your own thing.

She sounds pretty controlling and toxic to me.

he's stuck to his word and he's took me out and doing whatever I want tonight. I have an amazing man.

this holiday fil also git annoyed with her too. and spoke to me most of the time. I think he noticed I was being left out.

YANBU. Child takes priority- you have to stop. Also, for the driver 2.5 hours without a break is a bit much. If she's driving herself, as it sounds like she is, why don't you just all make your own ways there? Therefore she can go as slow as she likes, and you can stop if she wants to. She is being unreasonable if she thinks she can dictate to everyone else how fast the drive (as long as it's within the speed limits) and whether they stop or not!

we gave up and stopped a few times in the end and it took is a lot longer too .

YANBU. You're the parents now, nobody gets to dictate what you do and how you do it, where your child is concerned. I understand how you may feel nervous about it all, but you have to nip this shit in the bud as soon as it pops up. If she doesn't like it, she can swivel!!!

I'm just glad it's all over now. I can go home in my own bubble and forget about her.

Lying, we are divorced now. His DM still dictates his life.