Not to have been aware about how ingrained snobbery is in private schools?

[Lottielou7]

I have three dc, all of whom have been in and out of both sectors and I don't see either as uniformly better or worse. It all depends on the school and the individual child.

Recently I decided to move one of my dc from an independent school with 10 in a class to one of our localish state schools which we both had a good feeling about and felt would be right for her. She did very well at the indie school academically and in sports but I moved her because of bullying and stealing and the oppressive atmosphere that resulted.

To cut a long story short, the head wanted to speak to me but didn't seem to want to discuss the bullying (specifically of a child with SN) and glossed over it. She then expressed concern that my child was now having to mix with the great unwashed(!)

I didn't realise indie schools were like this, or perhaps what I meant was I didn't realise this one was

Lottie I don't think many people have your sort of moral code though. Most people are only concerned for their own kids and to hell with the rest. As evidenced by the very existence of private schools

Really? I sincerely hope that is not the case. Even if a child is not directly affected by a situation, it can still be an oppressive environment to work in when others are.

lottie crap pastoral care happens in state schools too. And all the problems you list do. More so, because when an independent school isn't up to scratch, parents can and do move, and losing reputation will inevitably reduce future intake. Whereas parents at a state school with those problems have little choice but to send their children.

I dunno Lottie I have objected about stuff at my kids's school and other parents have told me to stop rocking the boat because our kids are fine. Similarly my kids have been told by their friends to keep their heads down and be glad it's not them when others are being bullied or excluded. (They didn't).

I feel a bit cynical about it all I suppose.

Hmm, well what one person defines as up to scratch is clearly different from another. I couldn't fault the school for how good it was academically or with sports. My daughter never enjoyed sports until she joined this school. The teaching is excellent. On the face of it, if parents are going to encourage their daughters to push out a child that they don't want at the school then they are unlikely to feel anything is wrong.