Not to have been aware about how ingrained snobbery is in private schools?

[Lottielou7]

I have three dc, all of whom have been in and out of both sectors and I don't see either as uniformly better or worse. It all depends on the school and the individual child.

Recently I decided to move one of my dc from an independent school with 10 in a class to one of our localish state schools which we both had a good feeling about and felt would be right for her. She did very well at the indie school academically and in sports but I moved her because of bullying and stealing and the oppressive atmosphere that resulted.

To cut a long story short, the head wanted to speak to me but didn't seem to want to discuss the bullying (specifically of a child with SN) and glossed over it. She then expressed concern that my child was now having to mix with the great unwashed(!)

I didn't realise indie schools were like this, or perhaps what I meant was I didn't realise this one was

Omg!

YABU I would have thought it was more likely in an independent school. Hod does your daughter find the state school though with the bigger classes/boys?

My ds's both go to state school. Only lost/had stolen one pe top in all,that time.

Yep to the stealing. My brother joined a private school mid way and had tonnes of stuff stolen. Bastards. They made his life a misery

Never had anything stolen in state schools

Working class pov DH was robbed blind of his equipment by the ex Harrow boys during a field trip at University. They even swapped his decent feather quilt out of his duvet cover. He has loads of lovely tales like that and a definite wariness of public schoolboys.

I have work colleagues whose entire rationale for sending their DCs to a fee-paying school appears to be to keep them away from the 'unwashed'

She seems fine although it's early days. This school is strict on behaviour and uniform. She does find the boys and their showing off a bit silly but she's going to need time to adjust since she's been with all girls since she was 4.

I think this may be no bad thing since she has two sisters and no contact with any boys at all as I'm an only child and we have mostly girls in the family.

YAB ridiculous and inflammatory.

How do you know that these things were 'stolen'? I have spent much of my teaching career listening to kids telling me that somebody has 'stolen' their school jumper only to find it exactly where they left it the previous day...

I'm not being ridiculous - things are put down and the next thing they've disappeared. And things go missing out of bags. This is not just us either - I've seen it talked about by parents on the FB page.

It's strange that my other children don't have their stuff stolen even though they're less organised than my dc at this particular school.

My bro went to a private school on a sports scholarship for 6th form and the stealing was rife
He said loads of these kids were so privileged that the concept of not being allowed to have stuff just because they wanted or needed it was completely alien.
Bro got into trouble losing sports kit this way and we really didn't have money spare to replace it.

Oh dear god.

Yes yes, all the people at private schools throughout the country are snobby thieves. Of course that's true.

Ok. I still think that you are making rather sweeping statements about approx. 10% of schools based on one bad experience.

DD and DS1 have never stolen stuff. I'll get DD on it.

The problem is precisely when teachers refuse to accept that it is happening and therefore the thieves think they can get away with it because there is 'no proof.'

When I was at an all girls school someone suddenly kept stealing out of bags and we were all sat down in assembly and told it was to stop right now.

Aha! Glad we've found the culprit - it was me all along!

I noticed when I worked in a boarding school that there was a lack of respect of privacy and of ownership. So pupils were very lax about looking after their possessions and would borrow things without asking from their friends etc, but never any stealing money or valuables. Have worked in four private day schools and there weren't any incidents of stealing to my knowledge in my time at any of them.

Regarding snobbery; some schools are dreadful, some aren't. Ethos makes a vast difference.

Genuinely no experience of snobbery at the very well known public school I went to. Intellectual snobbery perhaps but definitely no looking down on the "great unwashed" (wtf?!). There is definitely more snobbery among the parents in the local state primary here than in the private schools too, from what I've seen of the parents so far. Some horrible attitudes I've seen there.

I'd write a letter complaining about the teachers if I were you.

Mine are crap. No stealing. Not had stuff stolen. They speak to their brother even though he goes to state school.
Wankers.

I went to the same private school as my Dad and Mum's sister. There was no snobbery there.

Being in the Army for 18 years, I have mixed with many CCF kids (up to 21yrs) and apart from sporting quite horrendous haircuts, not had any problems there either (and the kids came from RGS HW, Uppingham, Oratory who won nearly every competition running!! to name a few).

DD1 went to independent too, the support we got was amazing (hoping to return next September) and if there was any form of bullying, stealing or antisocial behaviour, the students would be severely punished and the family of the 'victim' comforted. The schools are businesses, just like any other, they need to be attractive to stay open. If they are managed poorly, they will perform poorly........ We will be going back on a bursary, no-one cares, they are just happy to have bright children attending who will potentially make a difference and make the school look attractive in the long-term.

Ffs - I've already said I know this is not all private schools including the one my dds used to attend.

The school in question is actually a boarding school. There certainly is a lack of boundaries generally.

That was to Pag. I think it is to do with the ethos.

I did think it was a bit of a shame the head had this general attitude about state schools though.

your thread title is pretty inaccurate then.

Might you want to get it changed?

I should also add that a girl in their class came to school, boasting that she steals money out of her parents safe.