.. to think that "I fear for my sons" and ..

[BertrandRussell]

"I feel sorry for my sons" are just new ways of saying "I hate feminists"?

"How about you take some responsibility for your foul posts rather than blame me"
I have made no foul posts I wish I could stop defending myself but I suspect that will be the point where you continue your selective cutting and pasting, possibly onto other fora as an example ot the hideousness of feminists.

It's true that male violence affects both women and men. I used the 'walking down a street' one as it's the one most people recognise, but actually the vast majority of women are raped by men they know, in their own beds. So for many women the fear extends beyond the 'dark streets' into their own homes.

Agree with merchent and sparrow

I do agree that bertrands post was a little obscure to start with

Anyone who has lurked on some of these threads knew exactly what she was getting at but i do understand why others may not have seen these types of posts

voyage your post was not clear.

"As I said I worry for my son when I see a poster (an established poster) saying that all men working in child care are peadophiles. I think it's damaging." Of course it's damaging. And stupid. Did someone really say that??? I do have to say it's the fault of the prurient gutter press rather than feminists, though!

I don't know if there's lots of deliberate misunderstanding going on on this thread?!

I genuinely don't think OP was vague at all.But we've got people claiming that they thought she literally meant that EVERY time someone expresses fear about male offspring, they are secretly expressing hatred for women. How, why would share have meant that? It makes no sense. If your son is going off to fight in a war, then yes, I'm sure you fear for him. But you must also know that that particular experience, though it involves both sons and fear, is irrelevant to this discussion?

Situations where you fear that your son may be set upon by aggressive men is also a situation that involves sons and fear - but, again, I'm pretty sure OP wasn't alluding to that.

The specfic point was that if you think that the progress towards equal rights for women should be a source of fear for men then you are very surely pouring scorn on feminism.

Agreeing again with merchant

Did someone really say that??? I do have to say it's the fault of the prurient gutter press rather than feminists, though!

of course. Why would I say it, if they didn't? It was a thread where the ops friend was removing her Dd from nursery because they employed a male. Maybe a year ago, perhaps a bit more.

And I certainly don't think feminism was to blame for her thoughts. I don't think I implied that at all. I am a feminist and don't think the same.

I don't know if there's lots of deliberate misunderstanding going on on this thread?!

There are 6 or 7 regular posters who have had trouble with it, including one who tried to explain what she thought it meant and got it wrong. I think we can honestly say that it was causing confusion.

He said I get the benefit though of carrying a child which is true of course

What benefit?
I mean, on some spiritual level maybe you feel great about it, but pregnancy and childbirth are not exactly things I look forward to.

And the only potential benefit, namely the one of having autonomy and being able to have children without a man in the picture, has been made illegal almost as soon as it became financially doable for (some few) women to be single mothers.

I have no pity for men.

The specfic point was that if you think that the progress towards equal rights for women should be a source of fear for men then you are very surely pouring scorn on feminism.

perhaps the op could point is to where this has happened, because I have never seen it on mn or in RL.

Are you deliberately misunderstanding the 'all men are potential rapists' line Mango or do you genuinely not understand it? Do you believe it's about vilifying all men?
No, I've already said I understand the supposed point - I've also repeatedly said that it's a shit soundbite, which is woefully offensive to non-rapist men of which there are many (the majority I'd imagine).
*
This is a genuine question Mango - if you have to walk down a very dark street on your own late at night, do you feel absolutely ok about that or do you feel a bit unsafe?*

I feel a bit unsafe, yes - but as unsafe as any person would (this would be the stranger danger side of life though).
I don't however live 'in fear', especially not if wearing shorts etc (as it was previously suggested women are fearful of).

I have no pity for men

Oh dear.

Any fears I had for my DS growing up as a teenager, going out at night to pubs or clubbing, was not a fear of him being sexually assaulted by a group of drunken girls, or being slapped because he hadn't bought someone a drink.

My fears were about other males picking a fight with him, mugging him for his wallet, or DS trying to defend someone who looked vulnerable and becoming a victim of a knife assault himself.

The reality is that the perpetrators of serious life-changing violent or sexual assaults are much much more likely to be male. We should fear for both our DDs and DSs because they are likely to be the victims of male criminal acts.

Although distressing and deplorable, the focussing on female perpetrators of crime on this thread is IMHO potentially derailing.

The specfic point was that if you think that the progress towards equal rights for women should be a source of fear for men then you are very surely pouring scorn on feminism.

No, it wasn't

And at no point during the thread has it been suggested that it was men fearing progress towards equal rights.

So if other women say they do live in fear, do you think that it's because they're weak Mango?

No, I think there is genuinely a corrosive 'lad' culture out there that threatens my sons' chances of doing their best at school, developing a range of skills and cultural interests outside of sport or computer games, their emotional well being and competence, adult sexuality etc. The problems boys face now are in many ways the mirror image of the ones facing girls. But perhaps there is even less understanding and support to help boys grow into reasonable men, than girls into women. We just assume they'll be ok, because historically they usually have been, but I don't think we can take it for granted any longer. That's all.

Itsmine and mango - but that is precisely how some men (and some particularly backwards-thinking women) feel. I feel like you're really new to the internet or something? ? Some men (not on MN, admittedly) loathe the idea that women should be chipping away at their ages-old superiority. They post vile, vile comments on various news and discussion sites whenever anything vaguely related to rape or similar comes up. Don't you know this?

And, in a diluted form, this anti-feminist attitude towards the progress towards equal treatment of women makes itself felt on all sorts of threads, including on MN. And then you get women 'fearing for their sons' in the face of this 'madness' (and, for madness, read 'women afforded improved but still not on-a-par-with-men's rights).

That's what this thread is about.

Agree again with merchant

Can you say something really stupid so i can stop please

Also agree with silver

As a feminist, I hold in contempt those who attempt to dismiss sexual discrimination towards men. The story about the male nurse - the superior who 'laughed' at his distress is a defender of the old patriarchal system, not a feminist! Don't blame feminists for the minimising attitude people have towards male victims. Feminists want equality - everyone's problems treated the same regardless of gender. That's why all the anecdotal evidence of abuse directed at men is so irrelevant to this thread; no one is saying it doesn't matter - in fact, feminism should help men's victimhood to be judged on a par with women's.

Don't blame feminists for the minimising attitude people have towards male victims.

Who is blaming feminists for this? The whole point most people are making that their feelings towards their sons have nothing to do with feminism and certainly not a way of saying 'I hate feminists'.

I certainly do not fear that achieving equal rights for women is damaging for my son.