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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Withdrawal as a means of contraceptive - reliable/ not reliable....

90 replies

ScullyMa · 08/06/2016 12:47

I know I am probably about to get flamed here and I definitely think I am being less than sensible, but can we have a discussion about the use of withdrawal as a contraceptive?
I've been on the pill - it was a nightmare, I went on the coil - it was worse, dh and I have discussed him having a vasectomy - he isn't keen as not sure we're 'done' with having children and we, when being sensible, use condoms.
Dh is 90% sure he doesn't want another child, I'm very unsure either way but also extremely proud and happy with our two children. When in the 'throes of passion' we have on a number of occasions used withdrawal instead. I think we are being rather silly but it is easy to get carried away in the moment. Can I please have others experiences/ views on withdrawal as a form of contraceptive - how much of a risk am I running? But I have to say I hate condoms and do prefer this method but reading very mixed messages about how reliable it is. If we fell pregnant it wouldn't be a disaster but I would rather if we have another child it is a planned decision not an accident.

OP posts:

PPie10 · 08/06/2016 12:50

how much of a risk am I running?

Oh you can't be that daft really

katand2kits · 08/06/2016 12:51

Why not try natural family planning, and just use condoms during the times you are fertile?

ShowOfHands · 08/06/2016 12:52

If used perfectly it's very reliable.

It's almost impossible to use it perfectly.

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 12:52

If you definitely do not want another child you would be taking a major risk

It is unreliable. You will get people saying they use it and it works but is it worth the risk really?

DoubleCarrick · 08/06/2016 12:53

We used natural family planning methods. I didn't get pregnant for six months. Only fell pregnant when we starting ttc. But then my cycle is pretty regular. We were happy to take that risk because we knew ttc was on the cards so it would have been a "happy accident"

Mommawoo · 08/06/2016 12:54

You can pregnant without your husband ejaculating. I think its called called pre sperm or something and leaks out of a mans penis during sex and actually contains a more concentrated type of sperm that can result in pregnancy. I'm sure I read that somewhere and and didnt just make it up.

splendide · 08/06/2016 12:55

We used it for a about 10 years and never had a problem then when we wanted to conceive it happened first month.

But it wouldn't have been a huge disaster if we'd had a slip up - now it would be a huge disaster so I have a coil!

Pseudonym99 · 08/06/2016 12:56

Sperm leak out of the penis before ejaculation. Therfore withdrawal is not a form of contraception. Unless by withdrawal you mean withdraw from sex completely?

splendide · 08/06/2016 12:56

Momma - that's not correct. There is no sperm in pre-ejaculate (concentrated or otherwise). If the man has ejaculated recently though there can be sperm lurking which can then emerge with the pre-ejaculate. So you need to be careful of that.

splendide · 08/06/2016 12:58

Having a pee can clear any lurking sperm by the way.

BalloonSlayer · 08/06/2016 12:58

not sure we're 'done' with having children

Oh you are SO right!

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 13:00

Having a pee can clear any lurking sperm by the way

How the hell can that work since it's different hole?

splendide · 08/06/2016 13:02

The man having a pee not the woman!

StarlingMurmuration · 08/06/2016 13:02

If the man has a pee, Need.

contortionist · 08/06/2016 13:02

It's the man having a pee!

AlfrescoBalconyWanker · 08/06/2016 13:02

There are (at least) two kids in DC4's class of 30 alone that are a result of withdrawal. Or lack of. And those are just the two who have mothers that got drunk enough on a night out to confess to it

DownstairsMixUp · 08/06/2016 13:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

StarlingMurmuration · 08/06/2016 13:04

Anyway, I believe that natural family planning is pretty reliable if you use contraception during your fertile days, and track those religiously. If you're having sex without contraception every couple of days throughout the month, and relying on withdrawal, I'd say you're probably going to get pregnant within a year. If you're both fertile.

KateLivesInEngland · 08/06/2016 13:04

For goodness sakes op, you sound like a naive 14yr old.
In fact, when I was that age I was propositioned pretty much in this exact way by an older boy and I had the sense then to send him packing.
Congratulations on your next child

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 13:05

Aaah don't mind me

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe · 08/06/2016 13:05

It's quite reliable.

If you want to get pregnant.

splendide · 08/06/2016 13:06

:) Need!

I so nearly replied it isn't a different hole! Then I realised.

I sort of wish I hadn't as we could have had a brilliant cross purposes debate!

Mommawoo · 08/06/2016 13:07

Ahh, thank you splendide!

BendydickCuminsnatch · 08/06/2016 13:07

Definitely reliable for us (so far, of course!). Been using it for about 4 years, in that time we've had DS but he was planned and took one attempt on one day when I knew I was fertile. Wouldn't be using it if another DC would be a disaster, though!

NeedACleverNN · 08/06/2016 13:08

If you hadn't said it wasn't a different hole I would be wondering how you was having sex

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