Withdrawal as a means of contraceptive - reliable/ not reliable....

[ScullyMa]

I know I am probably about to get flamed here and I definitely think I am being less than sensible, but can we have a discussion about the use of withdrawal as a contraceptive?
I've been on the pill - it was a nightmare, I went on the coil - it was worse, dh and I have discussed him having a vasectomy - he isn't keen as not sure we're 'done' with having children and we, when being sensible, use condoms.
Dh is 90% sure he doesn't want another child, I'm very unsure either way but also extremely proud and happy with our two children. When in the 'throes of passion' we have on a number of occasions used withdrawal instead. I think we are being rather silly but it is easy to get carried away in the moment. Can I please have others experiences/ views on withdrawal as a form of contraceptive - how much of a risk am I running? But I have to say I hate condoms and do prefer this method but reading very mixed messages about how reliable it is. If we fell pregnant it wouldn't be a disaster but I would rather if we have another child it is a planned decision not an accident.

Andrewoffg
But the train alway stops at fratton! Sometimes in bypasses Portsmouth and Southsea and just goes onto the harbour.
Think I might have missed your point here.

Bigdamnncfail
It's immature behaviour to not do something that may be of slight inconvenience even if it means avoiding an unwanted big life changing event. It's about priorities.
How do condoms make it feel different for you?
Keep them in the same room.
If it ruins the mood putting one on then that's a very fragile mood in the first place

OP, can't you just use a diaphragm and spermicide as a double precaution....?

itsbetter

Okay, that makes more sense. I thought you were saying it was immature to say you don't like condoms.

I'm on the pill so it's not a current issue for us. Has only been a handful of times in our relationship (before I went on the pill, when I managed to miss a pill and wanted to make sure we were still covered, after having DS1 when I wasn't yet back on the pill etc.).

I just dislike the sensation. It feel different and I find (TMI) I have problems with dryness if we use a condom and don't always climax/take longer to when I do.

Way tmi, so I've name changed.

Condoms give me thrush (odd, I know, but every single time we use them I get it), I can't use hormonal contraception and I'm scared of the coil as I had more than enough of being poked about up there while pregnant.

Yes, it can be annoying to stop, but not as annoying as yet another trip to the doctors because I have thrush yet again and DH doesn't mind as he finds it nigh on impossible to cum when using a condom anyway. Though I guess if we did persevere with the condoms our chance of an accidental baby would be almost zero what with sex once a fortnight at most and no ejaculation.

I cant stand condoms. I find the ring at the end of them very uncomfortable.

I would be very wary of the withdrawal method

We have used withdrawal for near on 11 years no problems. Works well for us.

Reasoning: hormonal methods do not agree with me. Cannot have a coil. Condoms = thrush. He doesn't want snip (fair enough, his body).

Tbh I'm probably no longer particularly fertile (age) but I was and it worked.

But it has to be your choice.

We used it very successfully for 4 1/2 years, I've only recently been fitted with the copper coil because I found ovulation after I had DS2 immensely painful and my OBGYN said the coil can help stop that. Which it has!

But we only really used it knowing that falling pregnant wouldn't be the end of the world. Now that we're pretty much done though, I want a more reliable method of contraception to take away any the risk.

With respect you sound about 12 . You know that precome has sperm in it right? And you know that it leaks pretty steadily for a while before orgasm? You are not in fact using any contraception at all.

5 days pre and 5 days post your period, you're safe to have unprotected sex. My GP told me this and I followed this for years without any problem.

Of course, it only works if your cycle is regular.

Andrewoffg

Perhaps it makes more sense to change at Havant, and take the Southampton train instead.

maartjebabes Have you thought of joining us on the Mornington Crescent thread?

It worked for us well for 4 years. Now have ds who was conceived after about 6 months of ttc.

It works for us. 9 years using natural family planning. 1 (much planned for ds who actually took 3 years ttc) and back to withdrawal/natural methods.

Dp is very reliable though. He hops off well before and we finish it together.