to hate weddings?!

[milkyface]

AIBU to hate weddings?

I am always happy for the couple in question don't get me wrong but weddings just don't do it for me!

There's the looooong ceremony (especially if in a church) and then the undoubtedly long wait for the probably crap food. All the people you haven't seen in years who you can't really be arsed talking to.
All the questions of when it's your turn ask my fucking boyfriend and then staying in an overpriced hotel room because the venues in the arse end of nowhere

Aibu? Or have I just not been to many decent weddings? I reckon I might quite like an 'alternative' one?!

--Or am I just a miserable bitch

I couldn't help thinking the food was shit at the last (big poncy hotel, thousands of quid for an afternoon and evening) wedding - mainly because a very close relative, who I love a lot, was paying for it (Not the bride and groom). I was worried he was wasting his money and that he'd not really got value for it either.

Oh I see. Well yeah I would, but it was more of a why are you asking me I'm not the one doing the proposing!

I can talk to him about it though.

It's absolutely nowt to do with them!

Well apart from the fact that they chose it for their guests, hoping that they would have a nice time.

I'm sure they wouldn't be remotely hurt to know that people they thought accepted their invitation happily actually resented every second of the day.

wedding is most important day of your life
Can we please knock this myth on the head once and for all? There are clearly at least two far more important dates in anyone's life; and every possibility many other far more important days.

*Well apart from the fact that they chose it for their guests, hoping that they would have a nice time.

I'm sure they wouldn't be remotely hurt to know that people they thought accepted their invitation happily actually resented every second of the day.*

For fuck sake!

As I said when they chose it it probably was VERY NICE, it will have been cooked then and there for those two people.

When you then cook the same meal for 100 people, it is NOT going to be steaming hot and fresh and perfect unless you have a massive team of chefs and waiters.

I would never ever say to the bride and groom that the food was shit. I don't think most normal rational people would!!

Why would you 'happily resent' something? I don't think anyone goes to a wedding hoping its shit.

I always hope they're going to be the exception and I'm going to love it.

Your points are just bollocks!

*wedding is most important day of your life

Can we please knock this myth on the head once and for all? There are clearly at least two far more important dates in anyone's life; and every possibility many other far more important days.*

Yes! And it's the bride's most important day...
The groom doesn't matter or care?

And I'm not a princess ... I don't want to be a princess I never have. Especially not now I'm 32.

As someone getting married in 6 weeks, we've tried to think of the guests, short ceremony, plenty of booze free of charge, activity packs to keep kids entertained and short photos/speeches. Is there anything else you could all suggest to make our day more 'appealing to the masses'? We haven't sent a begging poem for cash, we've got plenty of hopefully good food and maybe a faux pas, a selfie pod and candy buffet. Is there anything else (small, ideally) that would make you all enjoy my wedding a bit more, as I think a lot of the guests would share your mindset? TIA

Don't stress, MrsMarsch. I think in RL wedding dislikers are in a minority (I'm pretty ambivalent about them as I said up thread), and the thing is, even if you're not enjoying it, you're there because you do really like the person whose wedding it is, so you want it to be as nice a day as possible for them. If you are a wedding refusenik, you don't go along thinking "bah humbug, I shall make sure everyone knows I'm miserable", you go along thinking "Well, chat to as many people as I can, be polite, enthuse to the bride."

Sounds like you're doing all the right things - keeping the kids entertained is a big one. Sit people with their friends is my main piece of advice (though I have seen people say on threads like this in hte past "oh, no, no, you must separate couples even, because that's the done thing, doncher know?" - being a pleb I failed to get the memo on that one ). From what you've described, sounds like yours is going to be one of the 50% I would like.

I love weddings and I went to countless identikit Scottish weddings. All great. I don't understand the hatred of weddings on here. So much churlishness and reverse snobbery.

Maybe you have a higher boredom threshold than me? I don't understand how people aren't gnawing their own fingers off after the first hour. Each to their own though.

Nowt wrong with sweets, as long as there is real food, too. Mmmm, food.

I'm sort of neutral to weddings. I won’t turn down an invitation if I’m able to attend. I would only actively dislike them if the hosts didn’t think of the guests and we were left standing around for hours. I’m in the midst of th planning my wedding now and I’ve noticed a trend of people choosing the flashy expensive venue over providing a good time for their guests. I can not count the number of posts I’ve seen on wedding forums that say “My venue was very expensive so now I can’t afford transport/evening buffet/some other item for guests. How can I cut costs?”. I’m sure you can guess that saving money by getting a cheaper dress or venue is never an option. It’s always cutting costs where guests are concerned. At the end of the day, if getting married at a country house means you can’t afford to host your guests properly, you can’t afford to get married in a country house.

YANBU.

I don't like them much either. In fact I like weddings so little that I got married this morning, just the two of us in our local register office, 5 mins ceremony, with two neighbours for witnesses. We told friends and family afterwards. Best thing I ever did!

I think the problem is these all-day, all-night or (god forbid) all-weekend affairs really sap time from people who already are strapped for free hours to begin with. I don't know anyone over the age of 20 or so who sits around thinking "how on earth am I going to fill up Saturday and Sunday?" Most of us are paddling madly trying to stay abreast of family, work, extended family, household and other obligations.

We wish friends and family well, and are happy for them, but that doesn't translate to wanting to spend the better part of two days celebrating the start of their marriage. Particularly those who have been living together for ages, have kids together already etc. - at that point it's like "what on earth is the big deal now? You made your life transformation/commitment to one another when the kid was conceived/born (one hopes.)."

The best weddings tend to be the most informal - ceremony, couple hours tea/pub/champagne-nibbles at home sort of thing, then wave the nuptial pair off on their honeymoon and head home or head off on some other fun pursuit.

Being forced to play the role of "audience" for hours and hours and hours on end of someone's princess fantasies (while we could be doing something useful or more of our own choosing) is grim. No matter how Pinteresty it's still same-old, same-old. We have gotten to the point of only attending the ceremony and not the interminable receptions and dinners. And I have noticed that we aren't the only ones...

3.5 grand we spend on our wedding. Just made sure there was excellent food and a flow of booze. Friends said it was the best they'd ever been to. Brag.

Congratulations Cantgetmyoldnameback!

At the end of the day, if getting married at a country house means you can’t afford to host your guests properly, you can’t afford to get married in a country house.

Oh god, yes.

When you host a big party, it's your job to make sure your guests (even the weird ones who don't like you enough not to look down on your choice of pudding) have a nice time and are not bored/uncomfortable/hungry/cold/thirsty because you planned a shit party based enirely around what suited you.

No, it is not your day. Nobody gets a day.

You are hosting a party that people are taking time out of tgeir lives to attend, so make sure it's fun for the ones who aren't determined to have a shit time no matter what yiu do.

Thanks! Friends and family have been a bit shocked/ surprised as they knew nothing, but everyone v happy for us nevertheless. Spoke to my dad and I think he was relieved that he didn't have to buy a new suit!

Congratulation cantgetmyoldnameback! Sounds fabulous! Xxx

Congrats cantgetmyoldnameback

*Oh god, yes.

When you host a big party, it's your job to make sure your guests (even the weird ones who don't like you enough not to look down on your choice of pudding) have a nice time and are not bored/uncomfortable/hungry/cold/thirsty because you planned a shit party based enirely around what suited you.

No, it is not your day. Nobody gets a day.

You are hosting a party that people are taking time out of tgeir lives to attend, so make sure it's fun for the ones who aren't determined to have a shit time no matter what yiu do.*

Full of little digs, aren't we?

Just keeping to the tone of the thread.

Congrats cantgetmyoldnameback.

I think an evening wedding followed by a meal is ideal.
Short sweet & to the point .

*Personally I find 'quirky' weddings even more awful than conventional ones because you're also meant to fall all over yourselves congratulating them on being so clever and unique for having fish and chips in paper cones or a 1920s photo booth or whatever.

^^agree

And I'll see your photo booth & chips and raise you a quirky wedding cake & female guest party bags with slippers