The majority of the weddings I've been to in the past 10-15 years, either me, DH, or one of the kids has been involved as a member of the wedding party (bridesmaid, flower girl, page boy, etc.) and those are pretty much impossible to turn down.
I don't know what your current situation is (are you married/partnered, do you have children, etc.) but it was a lot easier for me to decline invitations when I was young, free, and single, than it is now.
These days I have far more serious obligations and it's a far bigger deal to, for example, stop my children from attending a wedding when their grandparents are DESPERATE to show them off - and sometimes when it's the last event that an elderly relative on their last legs is likely to attend. There is an entire web of social obligation that you seem not to understand.
How many weddings are we talking about? One a year, five a year? And who are all these people that are involving you in the wedding party? You’re not obliged to say yes you know. I’ve gently turned down two requests over the years to act as bridesmaid as I knew it would involve a lot of fittings and shizz that I didn’t want/couldn’t commit to.
I understand social obligations just fine thanks! My family is a traditional big Irish family, my partner’s family, slightly smaller. But the only weddings I've felt 'obliged' to attend are 1) siblings’ weddings and my partner’s siblings’ weddings and 2) (to a lesser extent) very close friends. But then obligation never really comes into it as I love these people and want to celebrate their day with them. I did turn down a close friend's wedding but I'd already booked a holiday so that was quite easily dealt with. I was sad to have to turn it down but not so sad that I wanted to alter my holiday plans. I have one child but she has yet to be involved in a wedding party. There were murmurings of her acting as flowergirl at my partner’s cousin’s wedding but we said no as she’s too young and would most likely have gone rogue. No offence was taken by anyone.
I’ve never felt obliged to attend a wedding beyond siblings/v close friends. I’m happy to go if I think it will be a fun day but if I have any reservations re. distance, cost etc. I turn it down. Nicely. And as far as I’m aware no one is angry with me over this. In fact I'm sure couple's are delighted to receive a few 'thanks but no thanks' replies, gives them far more wiggle room with their budget.
So I’m still puzzled as to why you continue to attend these weddings (yes, like an obedient little lamb) when you’re blatantly fizzing with rage about it. ‘Tedious narcisstic shit’ I believe you referred to it as? Honestly, don’t go. I sincerely doubt you’re lending anything positive to the day. Liberate yourself, shed that sheep’s clothing. Turn some invitations down! You’ll be a much happier person as a result.