to hate weddings?!

[milkyface]

AIBU to hate weddings?

I am always happy for the couple in question don't get me wrong but weddings just don't do it for me!

There's the looooong ceremony (especially if in a church) and then the undoubtedly long wait for the probably crap food. All the people you haven't seen in years who you can't really be arsed talking to.
All the questions of when it's your turn ask my fucking boyfriend and then staying in an overpriced hotel room because the venues in the arse end of nowhere

Aibu? Or have I just not been to many decent weddings? I reckon I might quite like an 'alternative' one?!

--Or am I just a miserable bitch

Yanbu even worse if your the plus one to the very busy mostly absent usher and have to spend 3 hours mingling and pretending to be socialble in a room full of people you barely know. I took up smoking again that night.

I would rather be sat in silence than listening to a terrible Dj.

Thankfully most weddings I've been to the couples have pre approved a list of songs, and the Dj has done requests (that's when the shit songs happen though cos everyone's shit faced at that point and wanting to do the Macarena!)

Not even the arrival of , Coldplay in the church , ice sculptures at the meal or comedians at the reception can save an irish wedding lol

I've been to loads of great Irish weddings! (although I'm glad to see them venturing beyond the church/country hotel reception rut) To be honest I find British weddings a bit tame. Bar closes by 11, everyone home be 12. Zzzzzzz.

But to answer you OP, I thought despising weddings was de rigueur on Mumsnet. You can hardly think it's a novel stance?

Don't tell the bride their budgets are actually quite good but they always end up with a tacky wedding.

squoosh I am a fairly new mnetter so I have no idea

I asked because I was talking to Dp about it last and he said I was being unreasonable for hating wedding, but he would say that 'cos he likes them!

Personally I find 'quirky' weddings even more awful than conventional ones because you're also meant to fall all over yourselves congratulating them on being so clever and unique for having fish and chips in paper cones or a 1920s photo booth or whatever.

Oh god, the "quirky" hipster weddings. Every wedding we've been to for the past few years has been like this. Posing in a "vintage" photo booth with a succession of silly hats, wigs and mustaches on sticks is mildly amusing the first time but after the fourth or fifth time it starts to get very tedious.

Best wedding I went to was: in Church, followed by a bring and share reception, and invited lots of people (even friends of their many children). Unstuffy, no huge delays, and fun chatting to people.

Mine: freak snow storm so up to half our guests didn't make it, a bit cold, and cold waiting around for photos, but I think people had a good time, and we had a buffet with no set tables (except ours and the parents). Lots of alcohol and a good band.

I generally enjoy weddings, and have never been to any as bad as some of those I've read about here.

I think you've clearly been to shit weddings. I wouldnt go to one if I suspected it might be like the ones you describe. Certainly wouldn't be coughing up for a hotel if I didn't know the couple really well or anything either. I don't understand why people do. But I'm not a wild party animal looking for a free bar (lots of my work colleagues are).

2nds omg!! I just don't know HOW they spend 12 grand (is it more now?) on such shitty tacky plain nasty weddings they they know the bride is gonna despise but then at the end gush about how their husband knows them better then themselves

They're always totally naff. Dp reckons they're told to make it as shite as humanly possible, probably true.

I would hate to attend any of those!

YANBU! I hate them, dread hearing that someone's getting married and anticipating the invitation arriving.

We've been invited to one in August. It's 200 miles away and midweek. Husband's nephew who I've probably seen a handful of times over the last 20 years is getting married and I don't care what Mumsnet says, it's not a bloody invitation it's a fucking summons. I happened to mention in front of my over-excited mother in law that it was going to be awkward (dog with separation anxiety and not really anyone who can look after him for long and my parents need persuading) and she very sharply said "Well you've got to go!".

Husband said he'll take our sons and go without me to save any arguing but it's going to make things awkward for him with his family who quite honestly I couldn't give a shit about but I do care about him and don't want him to bear the brunt. It's a late morning wedding too so we'll have to be out of the house by 7am at the latest so it'll be a long boring day. I actually think the evening part is the worst. Crap music played too loudly so all you can do is smile inanely at people.

It made me laugh the other week though. MIL called and spoke to my husband and told him that his sister was wondering if I want a hair appointment beforehand "with the other girls". He politely declined for me. When he told me what had been suggested my response was "they can fuck off". He just looked at me, shook his head and said "they really don't know you at all....".

MadisonAvenue

so the girls are trying to include you and you think they should fuck off. You sound charming.

"quirky" hipster weddings
That's not hipster, it's faux vintage. Hipster would be beardy.

Wedding planning at the moment. I want food and booze. I don't want photos of me applying make up or my dress hanging up.
I don't want chair covers.
I don't want fucking beige Hessian table runners.

sharknad, you don't know my sister in law who suggested this. She's very controlling and is most likely thinking that my hair should be in a certain curly girly wedding-y style so booking me a hair appointment is the only way she can make it happen. It wouldn't be the bride's idea as I've never met her.

Oh yes Pinterest weddings with drinks in jam jars, photo booths and jars of sweets everywhere!

As long as there's good food, good booze and a proliferation of hot men I'm happy.

MadisonAvenue

I didn't mean you should accept, but if you are in such a negative mood from the start, you won't have a great time! If the bride doesn't know you but was trying to be pleasant, nothing wrong with that. (Ignore your SIL, we all have one).

For a mid-week wedding (in August), either I would decline, or make a mini-holiday out of it: take the kids camping for a couple of days/ in a cabin or hotel nearby - depending on your budget. It's only a wedding, guests really shouldn't have to stress about it

The relaxed ones are the best. The stiff formality of hotel weddings can be cringey.

Got married in the pretty village I grew up in - reception in village hall. As parents v popular (and not much to do in village on sat afternoons) the streets were lined with cheering crowds. Was great! Our London friends were

YABU I love weddings. Get dressed up and have a day out with your mates eating, drinking and dancing. Celebrating a happy occasion! I love them and I prefer church ceremonies and look forward to the speeches so must be an anomaly...

I like weddings, even as a plus one where I don't know anyone.

Oh they are tedious. YY about the irish weddings. I went out with a guy for years who was from a rural area and had approx 200 FIRST cousins. The amount of identical irish country weddings I went to and I couldn't name the bride and groom for 90% of them.
I have since learned the art of the polite decline.

For me, I find it's a 50-50 chance of loving or hating the occasion. The good ones have friends I know, we're all put on the same table, we have a good laugh. The bad ones - usually the ones where I don't know anyone (and I find a whole afternoon/evening of making polite small talk to complete strangers stressful - I can do it, I make the effort to do it well, but I still find it stressful).

Then there's the absolutely excruciating ones: the ones where the bride and groom, in a fit of loved-up over enthusiasm, have decided that instead of seating their single friends with said single friends' mates (where everyone can have a good time), they will have a sad singletons table so that all the sad singletons can forget that under their clothes they are covered with lizard scales (I love that line in Bridget Jones) and cop off with each other and thus end up happily loved up just like the B&G. There follows an important public service announcement to B&Gs thinking of doing this... Please do not. It does not work. Your single friend would just like to be seated with the people she/he knows and have a good time.

So in short, OP, YANBU. I can see why you feel this way (and I always feel a bit stressed out in the run up to a wedding because I never know up front whether it will be a good one or a terrible one.

The way people dress is ludicrous as well. Am not just talking the bride and bridesmaids who always look like meringues (and those strapless dresses are only flattering on maybe 1% of the population - the 1% too cool to get married) but the guests. Bloody hell.

Local city is crammed with them but it's hard to tell them apart from the orange, weirdly dressed race-goers on race day.

Relative of mine - sturdy woman, no real sense of fashion - turned up to a wedding wearing a fascinator. Ridiculous. Like a tiny hat perched on a monkey. No-one looks good in a faux satin dress and a fascinator. Just... why?

I really don't get the hate for weddings on mn - have not experienced anyone expressing these sentiments in real life. They can be a faff to get to, but church ceremonies are rarely more than an hour in England, and then it's a few hours of drinking, chatting, eating and (if you fancy it) dancing in what's often a pleasant venue. If you don't want to talk to strangers you can usually just hide in a corner. I don't get what's so offensive about the whole thing. Weddings aren't that different to any other formal-ish event, except they're there to celebrate a couple being in love, which I find really beautiful and moving even if I don't know them well.

myown I think the anonymity here makes people honest. The truth is, half the people at any given wedding are thinking these thoughts.

I've never been to a wedding that wasn't utterly fucking dull (there was the memorable one where I invented a Gin and Prosecco cocktail in an attempt to relieve the boredom and get through the day though)

I really wish that people getting married would realise that as special as their big day is to them it means pretty much fuck all squared to everyone else

Surely if you've you've never been to a single wedding that wasn't utterly fucking dull you've got to wonder if maybe you're the dull one?