AIBU to seriously be considering giving up work and going back on benefits?

[Datingbarb]

I'm a single mum of 4 and have worked since my 3rd dd started school 5 years ago

I then ended up having my 4th dd 18 months ago.

Originally when I started my job I worked set days, hours every week which kept my childcare to a minimum, I never worked bank hols/weekends etc and I wasn't expected to, when they employed me they knew I was a single mum and everyone was happy.

After my maternity I again went back on 2 set days /hours and that was it, but slowly things started to change, (new general manager), was asked to do extra shifts when they were short and slowly I then began doing weekends/bank hols and I'm now finding myself put on every weekend and getting hardly any weekday hours

Because I now never know from one week to the next when I'm working I'm unable to sign up to do anything with dd, I would love to take her to a swimming class or baby dance group but just can never commit to those couple of hours a week, plus I know how fast they grow and I desperately want to be with her all the time (she was a lovely shock/surprise baby when I thought I wouldn't have anymore and I'm so lucky to of been given the chance to do it again, dd also has delayed speech and I can't help feeling like it would improve if I could get her out to groups/spend more time with her.

Also despite the fact I really enjoy my job (at the moment) I know that's going to change, new GM is making lots of changes and because of these and the way things are going 2 people I work with are leaving which is basically going to leave me to pick up all the slack as one of the three of us have to be on every shift, so I'm going to be expected to work every weekend which I just can't do, I'm finding myself paying babysitters (as can only use childminder weekdays) to have my kids so I can work.

My childcare is so expensive and I'm dreading summer hols.

I have been doing workings out all day and I reckon I will only be 40 a week worst off if I stop working

Would it be really unreasonable for me to give up work (maybe just until after summer or when dd starts nursery) and go back on benefits?

I think YANBU. Do what you feel is best for your kids. Could you just do it for a while whilst you find a more suitable job?

OP, I am quite sure that you know exactly what you're entitled to, and presumably it's a similar amount to benefits minus childcare, so it really comes down to your own morals and your own standpoint. Certainly what you are proposing is not illegal so it really comes down to - a) what do other people think and b) do I care?

More employers need to offer fixed hours contracts as standard, then let people who can work other hours and shifts offer to do so.

OP, please contact ACAS for support talking to your employer or get benefits advice.

What use are fixed hour contracts? Primarily they are running a business.... School holidays come along ( next one is 6 weeks long) and then what??

**benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/AboutYou

op if you decided to give up work you may be effected by the cap depending on how much your rent is.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/content/736/Giving-up-work

gingerbread says if you have a child under 5 you can give up work at any time and claim income support without any penalty

You may even be entitled to income support now if your weekly shift pattern is a total of less than 16 hours per week, but as you have said the role is quite sporadic so this may not be the case.

The one reason I think it would be a mistake is that it's a gaping hole in your employment history, and could make it harder after the summer.

Keep looking, you have a while till the summer hols I hope you find something else

OP, keep looking for another job but do not leave this one until you find it, or at least wait until after the end of this month.

I became unemployed at the beginning of the last recession, it took me almost 2 years to get another job even when I was spending most of the time DS was at school sending job applications. Simply put, the job market was saturated with over qualified people who had lost their jobs.

I know that it is impossible to predict what will happen if we vote to leave Europe, but considering the pound is already in its way down after the leave camp got 51% in the polls yesterday. I would hold to that job for dear life at least until the referendum is out of the way. Tax credits pay more than income support.

But first things first, talk to your employer before you feel forced to take any decision.

Datingbarb have you thought of applying for an admin job in a school.

I know these jobs are like gold dust but if you have a background in admin then you may be lucky.

Usually these positions are term time only and can sometimes be part time.

Have a look at your local council website and maybe contact some local schools.

I will talk to my boss and see, but to be honest I think he would promise me anything to get me to sign then I would be stuffed.

Huge changes are happening, hotel work has a high turn over and myself and the other two (who are now leaving) have been there since our "place" has opened, we know the job inside out which is why one of us has to be on every shift as supervisior

What they appear to do is employ lots of young foreign people who work for a low wage, live in staff house and they can give them whatever hours they please.

I'm problem is once the other two leave in 2 weeks I am the only one left who is able to open, close and cash up, as good as these other staff are in the kitchen, waiting clearing tables there English just isn't good enough to serve, use till or cash up so that going to only leave me and we are open all day everyday 8am till 6pm so what used to be shared between 3 is now going to be left to me I guess

YANBU

YABU. If you can work then you should. I'm sorry your ex does not contribute but you chose to have a large number of children and should get out and support them. Benefits are there as a cushion for those in dire need who either cannot work or cannot find work despite all their efforts. You are neither.

If you are the only one who can do that job, you are in a very good position to negotiate your hours. They cannot afford to loose you right now.

My ex doesn't provide any childcare, nor any maintenance.
Well that's just typical. The absent parent gets a walk over from this government. Like single parents are forced to work or prepare for work. The absent parents should be hunted down and forced to pay the maintenance or can this government only hound women became. Let's face most single parent households are predominantly headed by women

^This a billion times over

OP you have to do what is best for your circumstance and I doubt unless you are a carefree teen living at home with no responsibilities and no major outgoings that will be a zero hour contract

The crap working conditions that employers are giving offering where all the flexibility is in their favour makes this scenario nigh on impossible for people like the OP who want to work. It is not your responsibility to sort these awful terms out and at the moment it is highly unsustainable for you. Do what you need to do.

dating

Signing a contract does not mean you cannot resign so no you would not be screwed if you signed.

in the not to distant future changes of circumstances are going to become incredibly undesirable things for lone parents so I would get tailored advice specific to you from a lone parent advisory service (not DWP) so you know how they could impact on you as they may mean it is more adventatious to you to decide sooner rather than later or look longer term than just the summer holidays

YANBU to feel like this. Children are only little once and you can't get that time back. You wouldn't just be quitting because you don't feel like working. I don't know what pp's are treating you like you are. You are being pushed out of your job. But I would echo the pp who said discuss it honestly with your employer. If they have lost two other employees then they could be keen to retain you and willing to change your work pattern to suit you.

YANBU. I think it's a shame that it is the norm now for young children to be in childcare for the majority of their waking day. Successive governments have managed to build the level of hatred towards people claiming benefits that you are now seen to be shirking responsibility by looking after your own children. I would stay at home until your youngest is in preschool in your situation.

Before I was a single mum for a year I would have probably said yabu.

However, tax credits to cover childcare were a horribly stressful experience, and my childcare costs didn't fluctuate too much, I dread to think how stressful it would be in a job where the hours fluctUated wildly

I would suggest you try and find another job ideally though, but I can understand how fed up you must be

I don't think that's quite the case haligh

I think it's just that many careers are so competetive, women feel they can't risk taking a few years out. In my own situation, I struggled on in my own career even whilst having 4 small children only to find ten years down the line I haven't really progressed and wondering whether it was worth all the stress. I often think I should have just stayed home and claimed the tax credits. The only memories I have of my kids being small are me being too knackered to do much with them whilst I struggled to do look after them whilst doing night hifts / wekends etc. You can't win either way really.

I am really shocked at how many of you think that benefits are there to enable you to stay at home with your children, if you can't afford to support yourself then don't have children!! Benefits are there to help people in hard times not to stay home with the children. OP, although financially I can see why you are thinking of packing it in, your life must be incredibly hard, I would try to stick to your guns re your working hours. Long term your quality of living will be far better remaining in work than not, time out of the workplace often makes it really difficult to get back in for a variety of reasons. Talk to your boss and don't let them walk over you, you cannot possibly take on all that responsibility, they will have to advertise for other people.

I just think it's extremely hard for lone parents even when the kids are older. I have a colleague who has a teenage daughter who has gone off the rails ( and no dad on the scene). She is trying to work almost full time but getting critisized for not being around enough for her troubled dd. If she goes part time and does the minimum 16 hours she would no doubt get critisised for not working hard enough to support her family. Her job involves shift work, weekends/ evenings etc, she just can't win.

I'm shocked that bringing up your own young children is no longer seen as a role of any value. Not everyone has grandparents/partners or can afford good quality childcare.

Unless they were earning an exceptionally high amount, most people would struggle to afford childcare for four children. Therefore, there is already some reliance on benefits. Whether OP chooses to make that shift from part-reliance to total-reliance is something only she can decide.

I don't think it's a case of being a sahp not being a valuable role, I think many parents would like to but the cost of living means that it's just not possible unless you live in a low cost area of the country or can claim tax creidts. I dread to think where we would be without two wages coming in because we hardly have an extravagant lifestyle as it is. We were lucky enough not to have high childcare costs but only because we work around each other which impacts highly on family life.

Bringing up your own children is of value, however why should some work hard to support their families while others sit at home!