AIBU to seriously be considering giving up work and going back on benefits?

[Datingbarb]

I'm a single mum of 4 and have worked since my 3rd dd started school 5 years ago

I then ended up having my 4th dd 18 months ago.

Originally when I started my job I worked set days, hours every week which kept my childcare to a minimum, I never worked bank hols/weekends etc and I wasn't expected to, when they employed me they knew I was a single mum and everyone was happy.

After my maternity I again went back on 2 set days /hours and that was it, but slowly things started to change, (new general manager), was asked to do extra shifts when they were short and slowly I then began doing weekends/bank hols and I'm now finding myself put on every weekend and getting hardly any weekday hours

Because I now never know from one week to the next when I'm working I'm unable to sign up to do anything with dd, I would love to take her to a swimming class or baby dance group but just can never commit to those couple of hours a week, plus I know how fast they grow and I desperately want to be with her all the time (she was a lovely shock/surprise baby when I thought I wouldn't have anymore and I'm so lucky to of been given the chance to do it again, dd also has delayed speech and I can't help feeling like it would improve if I could get her out to groups/spend more time with her.

Also despite the fact I really enjoy my job (at the moment) I know that's going to change, new GM is making lots of changes and because of these and the way things are going 2 people I work with are leaving which is basically going to leave me to pick up all the slack as one of the three of us have to be on every shift, so I'm going to be expected to work every weekend which I just can't do, I'm finding myself paying babysitters (as can only use childminder weekdays) to have my kids so I can work.

My childcare is so expensive and I'm dreading summer hols.

I have been doing workings out all day and I reckon I will only be 40 a week worst off if I stop working

Would it be really unreasonable for me to give up work (maybe just until after summer or when dd starts nursery) and go back on benefits?

YANBU, if you can get income support.

YABU

It is far easier to find a job whilst already employed - if your current situation is becoming untenable then you should look for another job. Benefits aren't a lifestyle choice - they're there as a safety net!

Have a chat with your boss.... I wouldn't just leave... It sounds that you are valuable to them.. Especially with people leaving ... You should be in a powerful negotiating position.... Before you do jot down your fantasy shift pattern and see how closely they can agree to it...

At the moment they are pressuring you... They want you where they want you... Sooo push back...!! They may well start to negotiate if they realise that they could lose you.

Don't agree to anything that puts you at a disadvantage... Clearly a bill of nearly 150 pw is substantial...

Personally, even though I've a strong work ethic, in your case, if my boss wouldn't make things tolerable, I'd leave.... Don't forget what you're doing this job for? Presumably your kids' benefit?

Medusacascade yes your right the job did once fit my family but just isn't now, because I took this job I was self employed cleaning so may think about going down that route again as it worked well my my 3rd was little

My working patten is so erratic at the moment it's impossible, I have 2 dd's with braces who need to see there orthodontists every 8 week (both see different ones at same practice and of course they work opposite days ) so because you need to book your next appointment when you leave it impossible to know when your working/off

I am actively looking for a job something set hours on set days

All very well people wading in saying yabu. I wish I had that choice, but They're not you living your life, and the fact they have no choice is neither your doing or problem.
So just worry about yourself and do what you feel is best.
Those first years are so precious, and you'll never get them back.
I think you can claim I.S until your child is 3 so you shouldn't face a Sanction, and if you do. You can use expensive childcare as good cause. No one should ever be out of pocket going out to work. It just doesn't make any sense.

YABU.

Benefits are being cut, and although it might make sense in the short term it won't be a good decision in the long run. It might not feel like it, but you are in a better position to find a job as you are in work.

No my ex doesn't provide childcare.... Nor any maintenance.

Can you do another job? You'll always be treated like shit somewhere like a hotel

What about trying to find work that has set days and hours? Like office work?

This is what I hate about the uk benefits system. It encourages people to make poor choices, like having more children than they can comfortably look after.

YANBU

For the sake of £40 and all the benefits (not money but other benefits) it will bring to your family life I'd say do it.

If you have a baby you'll be entitled to income support which is a gateway benefit to all the others. Spend the summer finding another job, improving skills etc.

You won't get a balanced view on here OP. Your job isn't compatable with your family life at all. If you were being paid decent money is say stay and try and work it out. But £40? No way

Childminding is something I have considered but need to find info about set up cost etc.

Also something working from home but it's just figuring out what

YABU.

Have a look on reed.co.uk to see if you can find something else.

Take advantage of the fact you aren't in pain and can have a job.

My ex doesn't provide any childcare, nor any maintenance.
Well that's just typical. The absent parent gets a walk over from this government. Like single parents are forced to work or prepare for work. The absent parents should be hunted down and forced to pay the maintenance or can this government only hound women became. Let's face most single parent households are predominantly headed by women.

And should have added, I hope all those spouting the daily mail crap about benefits not being a lifestyle choice etc aren't applying double standards? Take it you feel the same about couples with one sahp who claim tax credits, use state education, the nhs etc? Basically anyone who isn't a net giver. Or are you too busy judging to acknowledge income support is no different to any of those?

Op you are entitled to income support as a lone parent if you're youngest child is under 5 whether you intentionally make yourself unemployed or not. That being said there is a benefits cap in place, which takes into account any income support, housing benefit, child tax credit. I'd check on gov.uk to check the benefit cap rates for a lone parent with 4 children.

You are entitled to income support based on your circumstances providing you have no other income and savings under £16000.

I would probably speak with your boss first, and then if you still aren't getting anywhere then I'd look around for another job. Like another PP said it's probably easier to get a job whilst in employment.

That's probably true at the higher end of employment, but certain zero hour positions always need staff. On a practical level I doubt op would have many problems or issues getting another position.

I do however feel there is a moral consideration here.

If you are entitled to benefits and claiming them would help you to give your children a better summer then why on earth not do so.

We all claim in one way or another.

I'm on all the job boards (reed,total jobs etc) I am looking for something but it needs to be set days /hours that work.

I have a background in admin/ accounts so it's just finding the job that's part time.

benefits-calculator.turn2us.org.uk/AboutYou

op if you decided to give up work you may be effected by the cap depending on how much your rent is.

www.gingerbread.org.uk/content/736/Giving-up-work

gingerbread says if you have a child under 5 you can give up work at any time and claim income support without any penalty

YANBU

Do what you think is best for you.

I get that people should work if they are able, but as a single mother of four and one not even in school I wouldn't blame you for giving up work for a while.

Of course you need to take in consideration how difficult it might be to get another job when you are out of work.

At the moment it doesn't look like universal credit will affect me, I don't know when/if this will change

YANBU to claim a benefit under these circumstances. Income support is available for this very reason and you are entitled to claim it as you have a child under five.

YANBU. There is no moral value in working for the sake of working. We support those fucking parasites the House of Windsor via our taxes, so there is no good reason why there shouldn't be a basic income for everyone else, regardless of whether they are employed or not.

On a practical level, it sounds like it would be worth talking to your employers and asking for a more appropriate shift pattern. If you are good at what you do, and other employees are leaving because of bad management, there might be room to negotiate. If they're not co-operative, it is worth looking for something else or considering the viabliity of something like being a self-employed cleaner or dogwalker - though these options are not as good as they used to be due to the influx of parasitic agencies like Taskrabbit.

whois

This is what I hate about the uk benefits system. It encourages people to make poor choices, like having more children than they can comfortably look after.

Theres an assumption. One day you'll make a nasty comment like that to a widow.

Could you go back to being a self employed cleaner?