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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

a parking one with a note from neighbour

490 replies

KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 13:42

This is the letter left on DP's van yesterday. We live at 215, attached to 213, then there's a road and then 211 where note writer lives.

I'm having to sit on my hands so I don't write a response. AIBU to think this is a bit passive aggressive or AIBU to park van there?

[Message from MNHQ: We've had to remove the attached letter as it was a bit too identiyfing. We realise the rest of the thread will make little sense now to anyone new to the thread, but we're leaving it up so the OP can continue to discuss with those already on board].

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:38

You're being ridiculous now, how do you suggest he get there? Sometimes he needs to leave for work at 2.00 am, 4.00? How does he get his van?

OP posts:
OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:38

Kinky - you didn't say before (or I didn't read) that it wasn't his own van.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:41

What does it matter Magnum, it's his work van, what's your point?

OP posts:
OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:42

But he's not parking illegally so why would the woman report him? He's parking on a public road!

He might be. So therefore surely it's better to not annoy people so that they report it?

You're being ridiculous now, how do you suggest he get there? Sometimes he needs to leave for work at 2.00 am, 4.00? How does he get his van?

Loads of folk have to get to work at that time of night - they drive their own car/cycle or walk to work. It just happens to more convenient for your DH to have his van at home, all the more reason that he should be considerate of others when he parks it.

You haven't responded at all to the point that he may be parking illegally or is it okay to do that since doing otherwise would be inconvenient?

OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:45

The point was that he was potentially running a business from home, you've said he isn't - I don't get what you mean? It's his works van so therefore he could park it at work.

And now he could potentially be starting up and running the van at 2 or 4am while it is next to your neighbour's house rather than your own. No wonder she is annoyed.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:45

Well his company hq is in Yorkshire Magnum so yes, perfectly reasonable to travel there from manc every day to pick up the van Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:46

He isn't parking illegally, I don't need to explain anything to you though.

OP posts:
OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:46

And, that absolves him (and them) from legally parking the van how exactly?

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:47

I have a company car, am I running a business from home? No, they provide me with a car to get to/from work, same with the van

OP posts:
OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:47

No you don't need to explain anything to me, but you started a thread and because we don't all believe that your neighbour is the unreasonable one then you through the toys out the pram.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:48

Them being? And I've said, he's not parking illegally

OP posts:
OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:49

Jeez. We've covered the point that he isn't running the business from home since you said that it is his works vehicle. No-one said that you were running a business from home.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:50

I haven't thrown anything, you though seem to have a massive stick up your arse. I'm answering your questions, I've told you he's not working from home, isn't parking illegally so if you've nothing new to say, I'm bored of the broken record

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 04/06/2016 18:50

You're grasping for any reason to disagree with the OP one and frankly you sound completely ridiculous.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:51

Ok dear, thanks for your input

OP posts:
OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:51

Ah okay, so his van isn't heavier than 2500kg and he is parking more than 32 feet from the junction and if not he is displaying his lights all night?

If so then it might not be illegal from a highway code point of view.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:53

If it's a broken record it's because you keep raising the point that has already been answered.

If you are happy he isn't doing anything illegal, you've not contravened local residential agreements, you are paying appropriate tax, insurance etc then all you are left with is that you think it's okay to continue to do something that is annoying someone for no other reason than you can.

OneMagnumisneverenough · 04/06/2016 18:56

and you've basically outed your neighbour by posting her address and letter on social media. very nice.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 18:59

Yes that I why I reported it straight away as I didn't realise. I stated that very early on in the thread. BTW I've only responded to your posts, I haven't kept raising anything. Night night

OP posts:
DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 04/06/2016 19:00

If it's possible to do a car shuffle so that the van and one car are parked on the drive and the extra car is parked on the road at times when the only available space is outside this neighbour's house then, for the sake of neighbourly relations (especially for your dm who has to continue to rub along with these people after you have left) then I think the shuffle is worth doing. If that's not physically possible, well, you've explained that it is only temporary so will just have to continue as you are for now.

Gentleness · 04/06/2016 19:04

People can be really selfish with parking. At the moment my road (terraced houses both sides, no drives) has got 7 work vans parked. They belong to people who also have cars parked on the road, sometimes another 2 vehicles per house. Each house is 1.5 ordinary cars wide, or 1 transit (or bling merc). If we leave the house in the evening, often there is no parking on the road at all when we return. To my mind, taking up 3.5 cars lengths of parking is selfish, when your house kind of allows for 1.5. Yes, it is a public highway, but why is it not normal to consider the effect on your neighbours? If you need to park all those vehicles, you need to find somewhere else to live or to store them.

Great if you have a drive and parking your own car doesn't become a problem, but that's not the whole story. Even if we can park, it's pretty miserable the amount of light that is blocked by someone parking their work van 10 feet from your living room windows for a full weekend. I hate it. I feel hemmed in when the fairly narrow road is full of long, tall vans. It changes the feel of the street.

For OP, in my opinion, this is your family's problem to solve. She feels hemmed in - it's not relevant whether she is right or wrong, it's how she feels. If there is really no other way to manage the parking, then maybe there is a way to manage the relationship with your neighbour to make the next month easier for her. You don't have to like people or agree with them to practise kindness towards them.

Original poster
KinkyAfro · 04/06/2016 19:04

There will be times it won't happen Decaf, we'll only do it if absolutely necessary

OP posts:
RaspberryOverload · 04/06/2016 19:04

OneMagnumisneverenough

Minimum weight of a Ford Transit is 2500kg fully loaded. They can be as little as 1500-1600kg unladen.

And whether it's a van or a company car, most people wouldn't keep it at work but would expect the employee to park it at home. In many cases it's extemely inefficient to keep vehicles at work as it can cut dramatically into the time actually available to actually, you know, work.

It's going to be 3 weeks top, so the OP says. By the time the neighbour gets to reporting it and the council decide to take a look, the van will be gone.

Seeing a van 6 inches over the top of a fence for a very few weeks is nothing.

paniniswapx3 · 04/06/2016 19:17

It's called courtesy Op - the more you post & be patronising to other posters (in particular OneMagnum), the more I feel for your neighbour.

Bluewombler2k · 04/06/2016 19:18

I waiting for bibbitybobbityyhat's poll Wink