what would you have done? Rice issue

[applesvpears]

So tonight I am making dinner for OH and it's fish and chips, for some reason the chips don't cook very well (not sure if it's the oven or the chips) so I chuck them and make rice to go with the fish instead. Upon calling OH to tell him dinner is ready and he has rice and not chips (it was uncle bens rice I have to admit) he says the following..
"Why did you give me rice? I don't want rice"
I tell him about the chips and that he likes rice so what is the big deal.
He says I should have asked and he bets there was nothing wrong with the chips, he doesn't like uncle bens rice and I should have asked.
I said I would take it off his plate and make him something else or he can just have the fish maybe and he starts arguing with me saying no I am not to take it off the plate etc He then starts to eat it and apparently there is something wrong with the fish so his dinner ends up in the bin.
I end up very upset A. Because I feel he has been ungrateful and rude and B. Because I am tired (we have an 11 week old baby)

Am I being unreasonable ?

Men who don't cook possibly don't understand the effort that goes into it. The preparation, the cooking, the clearing up.

Not trying to start an argument, but WHY DOESN'T he cook?

For a long time I cooked for a living (private parties, high end weddings and corporate events etc) and my (now) ex partner seemed to thinki would therefore do all the cooking. Four years of marriage and he cooked twice. - and before anyone goes to say that I did it all and spoiled him, - there were many many occasions where he was informed I was going to be late home and he would need to cook for him and the kids and when I got back I found he hadn't because I hadn't 'left something to microwave'/ He was 35.

Although I cook professionally my GF and I sahre the task, and hoenstly, if I get home after a 12 hour shift and she presents beans on toast i love her all the more.

I would NEVER be so ungrateful as to criticise the fact that my partner hadn't cooked what I thoght they were going to. What an ass

If I'd been expecting fish and chips and was given chips and rice I'd be pretty gutted.

I'd also have liked the chance to decide myself if the chips were edible or not.

So I'm going to say YABU. BUT I have a 9 week old so I know how you feel.

Firstly, yes we argued over something ridiculous last night and this morning we are fine. We both laughed it off and admitted we were both very tired.
Today OH has made lunch and dinner for the kids. He is treating me to a takeaway tonight. And doing the night shift with baby again.

Secondly, he is an amazing man, he is a great father and boyfriend. He is my best friend and we have so many laughs and respect each other. He is very sweet and caring. Not to mention generous. I always feel like the most loved girl in the world.

I make his sandwiches because I offered to do this. It saves him buying them, he does not expect it at all and I like doing nice or helpful things for him as he does me ( like running me a nice hot bath or bringing me home flowers)

He gets in from work normally around 8, often he has left home at 8 or sometimes earlier and he also does work at home for half hour ish when he gets home. So it makes sense for me to cook dinner. Plus, we all have our strengths, ignoring last nights debacle cooking a nice meal is usually mine and he is not so hot in the kitchen (but would cook if I asked him to)

Basically I was upset last night and he was rude etc but he is actually a great boyfriend who is very good to me and the fact he doesn't cook or make his own sarnies doesn't mean he isn't great because he does a whole lot more.

My message sounded a bit arsey actual point was to explain he isn't a complete tosser

Sounds like it's all been sorted OP. When a poster starts a thread that's basically just a snapshot of a moment in their life people can sometimes go a bit OTT with the 'he sounds like a total wanker' conclusions.

He sounds like a nice person who acted like a bit of an arse. As we all do at some point!

Enjoy your takeaway

I will enjoy the glass of red wine too

Yes imagine if real life was actually like mums net!?

Sounds like you are both totally knackered!! Good on him for recognising you are shattered and doing the night shift with baby again.
Enjoy your undisturbed sleep later (and takeaway)! What you having? Curry, Chinese?

Chinese I think

I'm glad it's all sorted out now - tiredness can make idiots of us all

But for all the folk saying 'If I'd been expecting fish and chips and I got fish and rice I'd be gutted' - seriously ???? A small adjustment in your food expectation throws you completely ? - lucky you don't live somewhere where you hope for rice and get sod all and go hungry. Sheesh.

I was brought up to believe that if someone makes you a meal, you eat what you are given, say 'thank you' afterwards and offer to do the washing up, you don't throw a tantrum and put your dinner in the bin