To think IF what dd says is true these parents are freeloading horrors?

[listsandbudgets]

DD has just come back from Brownie camp. It was £80 for 3 nights away including some great activities and all food etc which I thought was quite good value.

She says one of the girls in her dormitory kept saying that other girls parents were really silly to pay the full £80 as Brownies would pay if you asked and you just had to make a contribution based on what you could afford. She told DD endlessly that "her mum and dad only paid 1p for the whole trip" and kept telling her what a great bargain it was.

AIBU to think that if this is true then the parents are complete free-loaders? Surely even if they were on full benefits, they'd have been able to find £5 at least towards it. 1p is almost insulting - however perhaps that was all they could afford and I'm a judgemental cow

Thank you fast she is very excited. Really looking forward to working towards new badges.

Fuck nobody begrudges you or your daughter the help. The people gettong judged badly here are the ones who can afford to contribute and deliberately choose not to because they think it is clever to get something at other (often poorer) people's expense.

DD isn't going on the Guide trip to France this summer because we can't afford it, it's a shame for her but unfortunately just one of those things. It wouldn't have occurred to me to ask for help to pay for it.

Pearlman it has never been a Christian orgnaisation in its 100+ years, it just appeared like that as a big part was developing faiths which 40 odd years ago in the UK meant Christianity on the whole. Also lots of groups are held in church halls which doesn't help but in some areas its the only hall available!

FuckoffDavid honestly do not be embarrassed most leaders would bend over backwards to make sure all girls get the opportunities offered fairly, We were just a bit shocked when a family signed their daughter up to lots of things (we ask for contributions for some, total cost for others) including a PGL weekend at £120 and it was only after a month did they announce they needed help. In 20+ years of taking trips parents normally talk to us before signing up - the email we got had a lot of presumption in it.

It sounds like the girl was playing one upmanship.

As a teacher I do think the principle of paying SOMETHING needs to be established otherwise the children go on to do the same' Felt bad when all kids given money for buns and some arent but you cant always put into your own pocket'

thanks everyone.

Fuck I hope your DD has a great time. I wouldn't judge you, sounds like you've done your best to contribute what you can

It was the 1p thing that just really got to me. If it had been a fiver I'd have thought they were just doing the best they can in difficult circumstances.

Hadn't thought of it being one upmanship EveryoneElsie - you may be right.

I was told by my local Brownies leader that Brownies have an "all inclusive" policy, so a child will not be excluded from something if they cannot afford it. I was surprised as it hadn't even occurred to me. If I couldn't afford it, then DD simply wouldn't go, but she said no, if you ever get to that point, tell us and she can still go.

I have to find £80 for a PGL 2 night trip next year, and will pay the amount in full as have a long time to pay it, but it is nice to know that if I was struggling to find the money, that DD would still be able to go on the trip and would not be excluded simply because we couldn't afford it any more.

Duvet if you are paying nearly £2k a year on activities for one child you shouldn't really have taken £300 off scouts for camp.
When people say they can't afford things they usually mean after all the essentials have been paid I can't afford it.

This ^^ and despite the drip feed about health etc, I still think this was a massive piss take.

Pupil premium at my school offers 50% of trip cost, but the rest will be chased hard, Finance will phone and email until it's paid. The original letter states very clearly how much it is. We will help if we can, but no child subsidies another. The company give us a quote per child (plus one 'free' teacher per 10 kids, believe me, it's no picnic patrolling corridors at 4 am cos the kids are too excited to sleep!) and that is what they pay. If children drop out, the price goes up and there is no float to cushion this other than what we have asked for in the original price quoted which covers an ice cream for the kids, for example, not the cost of someone who has dropped out. We always give about 8 months for payments. If a parent doesn't pay, their child doesn't go. I'm talking about residential trips here, not days out.

For state schools/academies, there's a policy which says that any trip which supports the national curriculum cannot be charged for, but schools can request a voluntary contribution. The aim is to give every child an experience which enriches their education.

If parents don't pay, then the trip can be cancelled, or the school fund can support that child. There are a number of parents who don't pay because they don't take it seriously enough. School finances are desperately tight, and there will come a day when the trip is cancelled because of this attitude.

For scouts, if we knew a parent was experiencing financial stress, we'd do everything to support their child attending the trip, they frequently support with their time, and that's a very valuable contribution.

Maybe not but the sort of parents who never pay for anything dont tend to hide it from their children IME.

Re school trips voluntary contribution at my Dd primary is a pile of crap. If you don't pay you would be excluded. Unless a pp child.
I remember forgetting to return a form for one of these History off the Page days and the school phoned to ask for the money as they wouldn't want Dd to miss out.
I know Brownie and guides do have funds to subsidise and I hope it isn't abused.

I've just had to pay £300 for a 4 day brownie camp for 2 of my DDs (£150 each). It's a lot of money. Of course, I didn't have to pay, in that they didn't have to go, but it seemed a shame not to give them the opportunity because we can't afford to take holidays as a family.

Many youth organisations are ran on very tight budgets. A close friend is involved in one. I've known her to make up any short fall from her own money if parents haven't been able to pay the full amount for a weekend camp (under £100 per child).

I agree with Highlandfling80 about school voluntary contributions being crap. A friend of mine spoke to our local primary school about having difficulty in paying for swimming lessons (it wasn't so much the cost of the lessons but the cost of the coach that brought the charge up). Said friend had three DC at school at about £25 each for six swimming lessons - as part of the curriculum. Parent already paid for the DC to have private lessons and, to be fair, the school thing was a joke because, due to traffic, the children were lucky to get 10 minutes in the water. Friend was made to feel so guilty about having asked and was not given any support at all so ended up paying (her father paid for them). My youngest DD is due to go on a 4 night residential trip in October at a cost of £260 for the 4 nights. They go on a coach but are collected by parents. If parents cannot afford to pay this, then the child spends the week at school, joining in with the Year 5 Class (DD will be in Year 6 when she goes on the trip). On top of that, we have been asked to pay £18.50 for a day trip in June and £35 for 7 weeks worth of swimming lessons, plus the optional hoodie for the trip that costs at least £20 depending on size. With the exception of the hoodie, all these costs are compulsory and we struggle to pay but would hate to have our DD singled out. However DD has a friend whose mother is a single parent and on benefits and she never pays for swimming or school trips but her daughter still participates. Said daughter is not going on residential trip but is going on holiday with her mother for the full week. They have a grant of £500 towards the holiday but are putting at least double that towards the trip (to somewhere they have been before). Personally, I don't find that particularly fair or right.

I have a godson, since his birth I have funded all childcare school trios activities and uniforms that he has had.

His mother is my best friend she has significant health issues and is a lone parent on benefits who would rather go without food herself than disclose to clubs/schools.

He is unaware I fund these things as I would prefer him to only know his mother has facilitated his attendance, he knows she's broke.

Over the years we have convinced him she has gift vouchers or money off vouchers all sorts so he does not fret.

I think a lot of parents are like this unfortunately. My Dd's secondary school has an online payments system. You can tell how many places are available for each trip and how many have paid. My Dd went to a Gurdwara for the day. The school asked for voluntary contributions of £7 for the coaches. Less than half of the year paid. All the children went on the trip.

I know one parent of 3 children at primary who has never paid for any trips even though she could well afford it.

We are on a very low income but have always paid in full for all trips. I would be mortified to say we couldn't afford it.

A penny is a silly amount so it won't literally be true. I think that either the other girl misunderstood a joke her parents made or they genuinely needed a subsidy but she was embarrassed her friends would find out so she brazened it out and put a spin on it as them beating the system.

It is a shame when people actually take advantage though, it's so unfair on people who do pay full price and people who genuinely need help with costs.

The problem with the actions of the parents who refuse to pay or take advantage of others contributions. Is it works against both those who do contribute to both trips/events and or charity and those who are those who genuinely need the subsidy. The same is true of food banks and other charities or organisations - with those who are not in genuine need benefitting.

I would be surprised if they'd taken 1p from a family, but at playscheme if people can't afford the full cost we always take £1 or whatever they can afford comfortably and that way everyone can say "Yeah, I paid for X's place". Lots of people who are genuinely hard up won't take a free place, they don't want charity, but allowing them to pay just what they can means the child doesn't miss out.

We also don't ask for proof because in many ways it doesn't matter to us why the parents can't or won't pay. If the child wants to attend and we can afford it we'll fund them. I know one parent who is very, very well off, but won't pay for any activities for their child. I'd take the child into an event I was hosting in a heartbeat because it's not the twatty, greedy parent that misses out if they don't pay - it's the kid.

noodledoodledoo this is news to me - when I was a Brownie it was compulsory to attend church parade one Sunday a month. One of us would march down the aisle with the Brownie flag and the rest of us would fidget in the pews for the entire service.

On the other stuff - I gather that the state school my son is supposed to be starting at this September has a more or less compulsory contribution of £30 a year to the School Fund. And then there is a bursary fund, to which parents are invited to contribute money for families who can't afford to send their kids on things. So there is subsidy, but it seems quite transparent.

The Guides paid for my Dd to go on a trip when we couldn't afford it. My dd would have been the only girl not on the trip. They also provided us with 2nd hand uniform.