To think IF what dd says is true these parents are freeloading horrors?

[listsandbudgets]

DD has just come back from Brownie camp. It was £80 for 3 nights away including some great activities and all food etc which I thought was quite good value.

She says one of the girls in her dormitory kept saying that other girls parents were really silly to pay the full £80 as Brownies would pay if you asked and you just had to make a contribution based on what you could afford. She told DD endlessly that "her mum and dad only paid 1p for the whole trip" and kept telling her what a great bargain it was.

AIBU to think that if this is true then the parents are complete free-loaders? Surely even if they were on full benefits, they'd have been able to find £5 at least towards it. 1p is almost insulting - however perhaps that was all they could afford and I'm a judgemental cow

Cross post. Sorry to hear about your ill-health duvet but the situation you've just drip fed is quite a bit different to your original post where you suggested you couldn't afford it because of other expensive activities/trips you had paid for.

Duvet. I'm sorry things have gone arse up 💐 If you put a lot of time & effort into Scouts then it's not so bad either. You did bring the wrath of MN down on yourself though the way you posted 😁

Guide leader here. We tend to spot a pattern of girls not going on lots of trips, having cheapest uniform options, in smaller areas we tend to know a bit more about family background as well.

Funds come from all sorts of places unlikely to be other parents subsidising from the same trip. Fundraising, district, division, county funds which are normally funds generated from interest or legacies left in people's estates.

I have rarely had the issue in 20 years. Although we were a bit put out this year when one girl was signed up to various activities with no mention of issues and then requested financial and logistical (neither drive) help.

My in laws would do this and think they were really clever

I think my garbled point in my original post was that on the outside it looks as though we're freeloading when the reality was quite different.

DS2's school always adds a footnote to the 'voluntary contribution' saying that if they don't get full uptake the trip will have to be cancelled. It's definitely not voluntary. I am always happy to pay but they do hound you for the money. Last time he must have been at a medical appointment when the letters came out so I had no idea there even was a trip but I got an email, and several voicemails on what must have been the final due date reminding me to pay.

Its so disheartening when people like duvet post (assuming not trolling). I try to keep faith in people then it turns out yet again that a load of people are just freeloading :(

Oh God. Poor kids. Sat and told her fellow Brownies about the cost of her trip and now there's a thread about it here.

She has my utmost sympathy, and I think you're more than a judgmental cow OP.

Also £80 for 3 days is pricey compared to the beavers one but most beaver trips I know are in tents, Brownies tend to be inside which is a lot more expensive. Brownie camp is often a phrase used for going away not necessarily in a tent.

That's quite a drip feed, Duvet ! Sorry to hear about your ill health.

Even so, though, there are many families that cannot afford to send their kids to riding lessons every week, or on trips to Europe. I appreciate that you are trying to keep things 'normal' for your kids, but sometimes you have to make a decision as to where to spend your money. It really doesn't do kids any harm to know that they can't do everything they want, due to the cost.

Wow what an interesting thread has developed while I've been gone.

I think what upset me more than the idea of someone NOT paying was the idea that they'd paid 1p! It just seemed like a calculated insult to me. Ridiculous though it sounds if they'd paid nothing I would probably have shrugged the story off and felt glad I was in a position where I could pay.

I'd like to think either DD or the girl telling her the story misunderstood and as other posters suggest, it was a joke.

The volunteers who went on the trip are fabulous. I help with Brownies most weeks but sadly couldn't go on the trip as had other things going on I couldn't get out of - including looking after a very clingy 3 year old

I have been part of the Friends of... (several groups) & the 1p sounds like misinformation, to me. Worse, almost no one ever asks for financial help even when they really don't have the dosh and we exist to subsidise them. Most folk hate to sponge. Few are upfront about being skint. No one is proud of it. If they are skint for residential, they are probably skint for subs so we would see a whole pattern of asking for ongoing subsidies (which we exist to provide).

Plus I never explain exactly to DC what we paid because DC have a habit of thinking all my money should be theirs. . So I think 1p is a bemused fob off by parents, not a real and specific amount.

My parents would totally have taken advantage of such a scheme and to be honest I wish that that they had been able to. I never had holidays growing up and would have benefitted from being away from home and having my horizons broadened. For that reason I am happy to subside those who have not been as lucky as me financially.

Children make stuff up, I suspect this child has but of not I am glad that children are being given such opportunities.

All very well you saying £80 is good value for money, as you can obviously can afford it, but some people don't even get £80 per week to live on.
Those "free loaders" may genuinely not have the money. Why should their children lose out and be penalised because of their parents financial hardship

Duvet - maybe your DC would learn something about 'normality' if you explained that it is no longer possible for them to go on every trip and they will need to prioritise.
Obviously sorry you have ill health but hope you'll still aim to pay the outstanding money by contributions to the Scout Movement over the next couple of years.

I think there is some misunderstanding either the parents have told her it cost a penny to stop her worrying about the cost if the family is a bit skint (my kids would worry). OR the parent has said "it didn't cost a penny" meaning it was free.

I wish everyone would try to remember that Brownies is a Christian organisation, not an extra-curricular activity

Not Christian, but yes we're big on the helping other people out thing!

Whoever asked to explain how we identify who to help (if anyone), there's no national policy. All charities have to show that they're not excluding people who can't afford them, but beyond that individual districts and units work out what to do. Our district does a lot of fundraising events such as Christmas parties, but only where what's being offered is still good value so we're not expecting some parents to subsidise others. If that makes sense.

Although to be fair when I've told parents that we've fundraised to drop a price of s trip from £80 to £50 or whatever, there have been better off parents who say no we'll pay the full amount and you can use the money for someone else

Duvet - your initial post absolutely suggested freeloading, in leading the Scout leader to assume you were down on your luck financially, when in fact, you had chosen to prioritise other treats (as is your right). that's a huge drip feed about your health

Those "free loaders" may genuinely not have the money

I think there are very few people who would begrudge the money to people who are in genuine financial hardship.

It may be that the little girl just knows that her parents didn't have to pay, so thinks that those who do pay are silly to do so. It may be that the parents are gloating. It may not be true at all. There's no way of knowing. It's a comment relayed from one small child to another. I'm sure that a lot got lost in translation.

My DD has a camp holiday coming up soon, costs £50 Fri-Sun. I can't afford it. I struggle to afford the £2.50 weekly sub sometimes. I explained this to my DDs brown owl, who is letting me pay up a very small amount at a time and is fundraising for the rest of the money. I am so ashamed that I can't afford this but so grateful my DD can go.

Fuck please don't be ashamed. All that matters to Brown Owl is that your DD can go on the trip. I hope DD's excited!

Fair enough, then Brownies has changed since I was going

Sorry to correct- it's just a common misconception that we all fight! We do helping, values, beliefs, thinking of others, just not God!