To think IF what dd says is true these parents are freeloading horrors?

[listsandbudgets]

DD has just come back from Brownie camp. It was £80 for 3 nights away including some great activities and all food etc which I thought was quite good value.

She says one of the girls in her dormitory kept saying that other girls parents were really silly to pay the full £80 as Brownies would pay if you asked and you just had to make a contribution based on what you could afford. She told DD endlessly that "her mum and dad only paid 1p for the whole trip" and kept telling her what a great bargain it was.

AIBU to think that if this is true then the parents are complete free-loaders? Surely even if they were on full benefits, they'd have been able to find £5 at least towards it. 1p is almost insulting - however perhaps that was all they could afford and I'm a judgemental cow

I've been a guide leader and I would never have taken 1p for a trip. What's the point? It's not worth the receipt. It would be nothing at all (very rare) or more than a few pounds.
What the girl said doesn't ring true to me at all due to the specificity of the 1p claim.

Another mum in DDs class refuses to pay for anything. She won't pay for school trips, yearbook, photos or anything else. Not a money issue, she doesn't think she should have too, kid still goes on all the trips.

In Scotland the child would not go. We don't have the "contribution" thing at all because trips are not classed as an essential part of the curriculum. So parents have to pay if they want their child to attend. The 4 night residential at the end of P7 costs around £250, but it's something the school does every year so it shouldn't come as a shock when parents are asked to pay. There is also always something on the letter about speaking to the Head in confidence if you wish to pay in installments. Not paying isn't an option though.

Blimey, Ds is going to a cub camp later in the year and we've been asked for £35 to cover cost of food etc. It's an outdoor camp, Cubs providing tents but there is an option to come indoors if the weather gets to bad.

I would take what's been said with a pinch of salt, perhaps the parents were joking that they'd contribute a penny towards the trip, perhaps their dd overheard and took it as gospel, who knows.

And that's over 3 days.

Duvet if you are paying nearly £2k a year on activities for one child you shouldn't really have taken £300 off scouts for camp.
When people say they can't afford things they usually mean after all the essentials have been paid I can't afford it.

I was a beaver scout leader and we often had kids who couldn't afford camp so we would subsidise. It was always on an individual basis and involved a lot of paperwork on our side. You can apply for grants for the group from the national lottery and scout hq etc but a lot will come from annual fundraising. Eg when you see them bag packing etc.

I've never experienced a parent "free-loading" but I can't say it's unheard off...

Can I just say £80 for a brownie camp?! We never charged more than £40 for three days all activities etc included. That's a huge amount imo, not judging just like woah!

My Brownie and Guide units do help with cost for low income families (no one has ever paid 1p for a residential...) but that doesn't really come from other parents. We have Gift Aid which helps and the leaders often pay something if there's a kid who's really not got another way of going. I certainly do and I know others too.

For some Brownies it's their only trip for the whole year- no family holidays or weekends away. I'd rather help 1 family who's genuinely struggling and 5 freeloaders than help no one. But that's my opinion and not universally shared!

You can't punish the kids for the twattishness of their parents...

Nope but there is also no reason at all why you should enable other people's twattishness.
If they want to act like a twat, then they will have to pay the price for that. Sorry.

Whilst I think that no child should be excluded from school trips due to lack of income I am afraid that the system is abused by many and therefore it does not work. There are sadly groups of parents who do not feel they should pay and therefore their children is subsidies. I am now of the opinion that any subsidy should be means tested and that parents should have to make a reasonable contribution. Of those who pay willingly many have to forgive something, therefore this principle should be applied to all.

Duvet you did free load though. Subsidies exist for kids whose parents are struggling to meet essential living costs, not for those who have chosen to spend their money on other activities. In your circumstances I would have told my kids no this trip as they already had other things planned and paid for. I bet that leader thought you were actually poor, not just that you'd chosen to spend elsewhere. Not having a holiday that year doesn't really make up for it

I suspect the parents read the letter and made a joke when it requested a voluntary contribution, ha ha let's give 1p..and their daughter overheard?

The 4 night residential at the end of P7 costs around £250, but it's something the school does every year so it shouldn't come as a shock when parents are asked to pay.

Yes as long as the school is actually talking about it before hand as well as talking about the cost which has never happened ion our school.
You are supposed to just know about it (probably from your dcs hearing about it at assembly the years before and them telling you about it.)
They were very good at allowing you to pay by installements across the year though.

I can believe it.
It is exactly the sort of thing my parents would have done...

I think this little girl has misheard/misunderstood.

As a society though, we pay when asked/demanded to do so. We have a benefits system that prevents people from starving and I'm very happy about that. If there are a few who freeload and don't need it well shame on them, I'm still happy that we have it. It's the same thing, no?

Either these parents did pay - paid a reduced amount - or didn't pay at all? You won't get to know the true situation OP so just be thankful that you're in a position where £80 for three days' activities/food was doable for you. For some families it won't be.

I don't think you are really a judgemental cow, just that this has irked you. Count your lucky stars and move on...

It is important that children from low-income families can still access these things, and if that means you also subsidise a couple of freeloaders so be it. Generally people won't take the piss.

Nah, I subsides people through the taxation system.

I don't want to subsidise people AGAIN through voulentary activiites like brownies.

I'm a Brown Owl and whenever I plan trips/holidays etc, I always say something like "We would not want any girl to miss out on the trip because of financial reasons so please do email or have a quiet word Brown Owl if the cost is a problem, as there are funds we can apply for to make sure that all girls can attend events like this one."

I think I've once paid for a girl to come on Pack Holiday from the general funds. Sometimes people ask to pay in instalments, which is also completely fine, but I've never been aware of any free-loading.

I also agree re Duvet. Although she has come clean and seemingly now realises her error, I'm a bit amazed that she couldn't work that out for herself - can't afford means can't afford, not 'we're prioritising our pots of money elsewhere'!

OP come on, the girl was either exaggerating, joking or she's overheard her parents saying they're paying a penny for the trip etc etc. They won't literally have paid 1p!

Interesting thread though.

The scout leader has known us for twenty years. He knows we're not poor.

He wanted the whole troup to attend camp and they have money available to subsidise those that ant afford it. I would never have asked for help paying it, I just said they wouldn't go.

I'm a brownie and guide leader.

We have subsidised girls on trips with things like gift aid or fund matching through my work so the extra money. However, if parents have had six months notice I would expect a regular minimum contribution (even just £1 a week) to show commitment. We do our best to keep costs low for everyone and its very very good value for money. So I do object to parents taking the piss. And I would not let someone go on the trip having not contributed a reasonable amount.

I've been on the other side myself, I had a free trip to a competiton through a sport because the team needed me to go, I had said up front that I couldn't afford it, and I did what I could to help out. I also had match funding for them from work which didn't cover my costs but showed I was trying.

I went to the office to pay for DS1's reception class trip to a farm the other week - it was £3.50. The secretary looked astonished when I told her what it was for, as I was one of 2 sets of parents, in a class of 30, who'd paid the voluntary contribution. I didn't even realise it was voluntary, I just assumed these things had to be paid for! Some people are cheeky fuckers, no doubt.

The other Brownie is talking nonsense. We would make many allowances and arrangements for a family in hardship, but we would never humiliate a family by asking them to pay 1p.

My parents always joked about their voluntary contribution being a penny- i think it being 1p rather than a pound or even nothing at all makes it very likely to be a misinterpreted joke.

I don't ever ask, I either pay or my DCs don't go. Actually, no quite. I once asked school to pay for DS to go on an A level revision workshop when they needed the cash three days before pay day at short notice. I paid them back the next week.

Can Brownie/Cub leaders round here tell us what they do to check on parents' means if they ask for help with these trips? I have no problem with parents on low incomes and benefits being helped, but frankly if I were paying full whack I would take serious exception if I were in effect subsidising riding lessons and trips to Europe as in Duvet's case.