Wibu to ask for some support

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Dp was at work this morning. He txted to say he was going to the gym which he goes to on average 4-5 days a week 2 hrs a time I told him I'd prefer he didn't because I'd had a long week and I was working all weekend. His response was he'd had a long week too.
In the end he had to come home anyway for a home visit for our sons nursery.

As soon as they were out the door he said right I'm for the gym.
My response was I'd prefer it if you stayed home and gave me some support with the kids while I get the house sorted. Then he started ranting "what do you meat support I do loads around the the house I do loads with th dcs while you have a break"
He then came back and send I'm taking the kids out I didn't want him to take the kids out I want the kids to play in the garden while I get the house sorted and spend some time with. Then then we had a another chat about support and he took them out. 5 minutes later he called to say he was taking them to soft play and did I want to come. Keep I'm mind the sun is shining so I said no I don't want them going to soft play i want them at home. They're going to the beach tomorrow why do they have to be entertained every minute if the day.

So pretty much after my long rambling post. Wibu to tell him not to go to the bloody gym. To spend some time at home that isn't the kids bedtime/ nightmare tired time.

[Sparrowlegs248]

I get where you are coming from Op. You don't want to be left at home with the kids all the time while he goes to the gym 8-10 hrs a week. You don't want to be left at home alone to clean the house while he takes them to soft play. You did tell him you didn't want them going to soft play. He went anyway. I don't think Yabu at all.

[Gide]

I do think having to work round his gym time is unreasonable. I would hate that, especially if he's going at a crucial time in the morning when you need a hand with two young DCs.

Saying that, you need to be clearer about what you want him to do: talk to him and be clear. He's not a mind reader. You're getting all pissed off because he didn't do what you had in mind but you don't appear to have told him so ultimately, you're both getting pissed off but there's no need to be. Communicate!

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Why should he run his days to your schedule?
It's one day.

A three year old is more than capable of tidying toys away.
Stardust160 your child may be capable my ds is not.

branofthemist I sincerely doubt I'm the same poster you're thinking of.

Who said I was bad money wise trying to actively save for something does not make you poor the last time I checked.

Op was invited to come along what's the problem?
I wanted to spend the day with my dc's at home. What is so wrong with that. He's off for the next 2 weeks he can spend all of that time at the gym and taking the dcs to where ever he wants if he so chooses as he does the rest of the time.

[ilovesooty]

I thought you said he was going back to working five days a week next week.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Don't worry he can start back to his 5 day a week stints tomorrow. at the gym not work. Some posters seemed worried he wasn't getting his free time.

[Stardust160]

But he didn't though why should he do what you want? Surely you can comparise ,he did by not going to the gym. Yes he could reduce gym time but I don't think you should tell him how to spent time with the DCs

[Rarity75]

Bumming heck! I understand this. It's about resentment. He gets to do his gym thing as much as he wants. When he takes the kids it costs money. I bet you don't get to do your own thing 4-5 times a week?
Parenthood should be shared but frequently one partner gets to retain their life and be the Disney parent.
Sorry you have had a hard time in here. I guess there is more to the story and all I can say is yanbu

[ilovesooty]

Oh I see
It was a bit confusing.

[Rarity75]

Blumming not bumming!

[Standingonmytippytoes]

I don't think you should tell him how to spent time with the DCs
It's my time with the dcs too the only full day I'd of spent with them until Thursday and the first day since last Friday. Why is the time he spends with the dcs more important or less important than mine.

[Stardust160]

You could of spent time with them you didn't you cut your nose off to spite your face.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

You could of spent time with them you didn't you cut your nose off to spite your face.
No I didn't they stayed home with me and dp. DP even mentioned that ds seemed happier that we were all in the house together.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

And no I don't get to dp my own thing 4-5 times a week the closest I get to a hobby is watching netflix while folding clothes.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

No I don't care someone asked up thread if I had a hobby. I don't. I don't mind his gym as a general hobby.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Oh it was you who asked zzzz

[Waltermittythesequel]

But you threw a strop because you wanted the family time to be in the house, and when you said.

You could have just gone to the soft play. No big deal.

[clarrrp]

To answer a previous question the dcs are 3 and 21 months. The 3 year old has ASD.
So needs pretty much constant supervision.

And your husband can't supervise while he has them? It sounds like you don't trust him to do it. Combined with you wanting the kids where you can see them while you 'sort the house' instead of going off and having fun with dad sounds very controlling to be honest.

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

You absolutely did cut your nose off to spite yourself! If you wanted to spend time with your DP and DC you should have gone to soft play, not sulked at home petulantly.

The bloody loo can be cleaned any time! You said yourself you won't have a proper day together til Thursday, and you'd rather spend that day making them all watch you clean than go and do something fun together?! I don't understand that at all, and actually I think even if they had stayed at home and watched you "pottering around" he still wouldn't have got it right.

If you aren't happy with him you need to leave, being this petty and resentful if him isn't doing you or DP and good, and once the kids are old enough to pick up on it it'll be awful for them

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Ok well we had a great day in the sunshine anyway. After I got all the posts calling me a control freak I went down and asked dp if he wanted to go out after all. He didn't.

I never said I didn't trust him to look after the dcs.

I spend alot of time either on my own with the dcs or simply on my own. I just wanted to relax in my own home with my family.

[Mycraneisfixed]

A new day I hope you have a better day today and allow yourself to relax; even if the loo didn't get cleaned!

[araiba]

what state is your toilet in??

it takes literally seconds to clean

about 5 minutes to clean an entire bathroom