Wibu to ask for some support

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Dp was at work this morning. He txted to say he was going to the gym which he goes to on average 4-5 days a week 2 hrs a time I told him I'd prefer he didn't because I'd had a long week and I was working all weekend. His response was he'd had a long week too.
In the end he had to come home anyway for a home visit for our sons nursery.

As soon as they were out the door he said right I'm for the gym.
My response was I'd prefer it if you stayed home and gave me some support with the kids while I get the house sorted. Then he started ranting "what do you meat support I do loads around the the house I do loads with th dcs while you have a break"
He then came back and send I'm taking the kids out I didn't want him to take the kids out I want the kids to play in the garden while I get the house sorted and spend some time with. Then then we had a another chat about support and he took them out. 5 minutes later he called to say he was taking them to soft play and did I want to come. Keep I'm mind the sun is shining so I said no I don't want them going to soft play i want them at home. They're going to the beach tomorrow why do they have to be entertained every minute if the day.

So pretty much after my long rambling post. Wibu to tell him not to go to the bloody gym. To spend some time at home that isn't the kids bedtime/ nightmare tired time.

[ImperialBlether]

Maybe the OP didn't want to be left alone to do the cleaning while he took the kids out to soft play? Maybe she wanted some time with them while pottering about tidying up with her husband? That's what you want when you're working all week and don't see as much of the children as you want.

I can't believe some of the responses here.

[branofthemist]

imperial that's not what she asked for though is it?

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Pointers for future reference:

I should of let him go to the gym.
I also should of let him take dcs to soft play.
I shouldn't dictate where he takes the dcs I should consider myself lucky he takes them anywhere.

Perhaps I'm annoyed because:
He could of cleaned the loo and put the clothes away when he said he would.
We're trying to save money for a new car, I didn't want it wasted at soft play. Where he spends on average £20-£30.

Unfortunately I've had to get a little controlling over the years, due to dp getting us into some tricky situations I am trying to chill out though.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Thanks imperial thats exactly what I wanted.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

branofthemist sure why don't you tell me what I wanted.

[araiba]

i love it when OPs add loads of extra stuff later trying to defend themselves after theyve been told they are BU

[CrazyDuchess]

Agree Araiba- drip feed much??

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Of course I'm trying to defend myself you're all making me out to be some kind of abusive control freak.

To answer a previous question the dcs are 3 and 21 months. The 3 year old has ASD.
So needs pretty much constant supervision.

[Stardust160]

Your being massively unreasonable. My DH went out to footie yesterday night whilst I sorted the kids out. It's all give and take. He took them out so you could get on. It's not quality family time if your busy in and out all the time. He even offered you to come to the soft play. I dont think whatever your DH does it would've good enough. Don't forget he's just finished a full week of work. I don't think it's fair he should come home to start cleaning on top on a Friday. Could you not of cleaned up earlier and then spend family time.

[Stardust160]

Or get the 3 year old to help tidy up make a game of it. It's what I do with my toddler.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Don't forget he's just finished a full week of work. he dosent work full time.

[Stardust160]

Even so he just finished work. I think it's either one or the other help with housework or family time he offered you family time but your not happy as its not on your terms. If I asked my DH for help with the DC I wouldn't dicate where he took him. I would be great full for the break tbh.

[allnewredfairy]

You'll probably need to spell it out to him OP.
I mentoned to my DH that I wanted him to drill a few holes in an old wheelbarrow I'd salvaged. Came home and the blooming thing was like a colander. I only wanted 4 or 5 holes. Should have said that in the first place.

[BillSykesDog]

If you wanted to spend time with the children with just the odd five minute break why did he have to give up his gym visit?

[BillSykesDog]

Oh Christ. It's 'that' poster again. Pointless waste of time posting on this threadz

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Stardust160
Or get the 3 year old to help tidy up make a game of it. It's what I do with my toddler. thanks for that one it made me laugh...
And yeah I'm sure his 5 hour shift really took it out if him

Pearlman you've got it.

We've made up now. I've missed the kids this week and didn't want them taken away. We've had a nice time playing in the garden. So all in all a good day.

DP is going to the gym tomorrow while I'm at work and his parents have kids. just if anyone was worried. he's still got his downtime.

[Sallygoroundthemoon]

Pointers for future reference :

Should have
Could have

YABU and controlling OP.

[Standingonmytippytoes]

Ahh well. I'll live. Perhaps I'll find dp on dadsnet.

[DeathStare]

Unfortunately I've had to get a little controlling over the years

No. Nobody ever has to get controlling ever. Not under any circumstances. If your DH really cannot be trusted without you controlling him then leave. If it's not worth leaving then try talking to him or get used to the fact he does things differently to you.

Can you imagine if a woman posted on here that her her DH had said he "had to get controlling"