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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset with DH

51 replies

Curiousmum69 · 03/06/2016 07:16

So we booked a weekend away in a caravan back in January. So not like it was short notice.

Anyway DH came home last night and told me that he forgot to book annual leave and only just realised. Now it's too late and his leave won't be approved.

So off he's gone to work today. Leaving me to take our 4 DCs away. He will come up tomorrow and stay one night and then has to come back Sunday for work Monday.

I was really looking forward to a family break. But now I just want to tell him to not even bother coming.

I know people forget things. But this just seems so unfair on us all.the DCs were really looking forward to him coming and my youngest is really upset.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up and go alone. Which will be fine but not what I was expecting iyswim.

Would anyone else's DH just forget to book leave ?

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 03/06/2016 07:18

He's only just told you??

Surely the trip away has been mentioned in numerous conversations in the lead up to you leaving over the last few weeks?

peoplepleaser70 · 03/06/2016 07:20

Mine would. I have to remind him a million times about things!! That is crap though, I'd be fuming. I hope you still enjoy your time away xx

RNBrie · 03/06/2016 07:20

Yanbu. I used to have a guy working for me who's wife would email me his holiday dates because she knew he'd forget to book them off. I found it a bit awkward but it was way better than him turning around at the last minute and asking for the next two weeks off (complicated rota).

Champagneformyrealfriends · 03/06/2016 07:21

Mine would. I had to ask his manager to check he'd booked our wedding off. He's bloody useless when it comes to holiday.

londonrach · 03/06/2016 07:23

Yanbu. My dh also forgets to book leave so i usually chase with an email to work address whilst he is at work. Its ignoring but i think once at work he so busy he just goes into work mod and forgets everything else. Paper notes in his bag doesnt work as does mentioning it 1000 times!

Original poster
Curiousmum69 · 03/06/2016 07:27

Yep. It's been mentioned at home loads of times. I'm guessing he assumed it was booked and mentioned it at work yesterday. Which would have prompted the you don't have any leave booked.

I just feel really let down. I've had a super hectic time over the last few months and feel as though I've neglected everything. So I guess I'd put a lot of weight on some family time.

I'm not usually home with the DC so although I love spending time with them doing it alone feels like hard work and not the break id envisioned.

OP posts:
Bearbehind · 03/06/2016 07:28

OMG- are some of you married to children?

contacting their managers??
Paper notes in his bag??

They are adults- if they can't be arsed to make the most basic arrangements what is the attraction of being with them?

OP, I'd be livid.

hesterton · 03/06/2016 07:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PPie10 · 03/06/2016 07:33

Yanbu, my DH would have sorted it out without me having to even ask. If you are capable of thinking of it why can't he? I would be upset too that he let something as important as that detail slip.

PPie10 · 03/06/2016 07:33

Yanbu, my DH would have sorted it out without me having to even ask. If you are capable of thinking of it why can't he? I would be upset too that he let something as important as that detail slip.

cricketballs · 03/06/2016 07:34

Bear - it's not being married to children, but knowing each other well enough to know their faults! My DH often has to remind me several times if I have to do something for the family/home during my working day as he knows that I get caught up with work and will forget and vice versa

Original poster
Curiousmum69 · 03/06/2016 07:35

It does feel like being married to a child some days.

He's not very organised.

Things are ok at the moment. We had a period of seperation last year but are in MC and things seem pretty steady. He's said he was looking forward to it. And is usually a very hands on dad.

OP posts:
molyholy · 03/06/2016 07:36

I would be fuming OP. I can't believe people a minimising this! What a fucking idiot your 'd'h is. I would be thinking he had done it on purpose.

NavyAndWhite · 03/06/2016 07:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Curiousmum69 · 03/06/2016 07:38

Cricket balls I agree it is about recognising each other strengths and weaknesses.

But I don't have time to chase him up for things like this. We booked the holiday together. He had the dates.

OP posts:
Windsofwinter · 03/06/2016 07:38

I'd also be wondering if it was intentional, although I'm naturally suspicious! I'd also be expecting him to come after work tonight even if the drive is long, as it's his own fault.

Kimononono · 03/06/2016 07:38

I was just going to say the same as hesterton

I'd be really annoyed actually.

Do you want to take them away by yourself because if not - dont go. I'd delay it till he actually has time off to spend as a family. It's not going to be much of a break for you is it.

Meanwhile at home your Dh is going to have a lovely few days to himself...

Bearbehind · 03/06/2016 07:39

My DH often has to remind me several times if I have to do something for the family/home during my working day as he knows that I get caught up with work and will forget and vice versa

So why can't you write yourself a note/ set a reminder? Why does another adult have to do the reminding for you? I just don't get it?

Kimononono · 03/06/2016 07:40

Would he forget if it was going abroad?? Smells a bit fishy to me.

junebirthdaygirl · 03/06/2016 07:41

That's so annoying. Could your dm go with you so could have some adult company.

Original poster
Curiousmum69 · 03/06/2016 07:44

We seperated because I was fed up. It was essentially long term communication break down and my general unhappiness. But 6 months of Marrige councelling seems to have been fabulous. So I guess this has just thrown a spanner and made me start doubting everything.

I don't think it was that he doesn't want to come as this way he offered straight away to join us for the weekend.

OP posts:
Original poster
Curiousmum69 · 03/06/2016 07:46

June. That is a good idea actually. I will ask her now. I think she would like that.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 03/06/2016 07:46

YANBU, it's thoughtless

KERALA1 · 03/06/2016 07:59

Yanbu. That gives a really rubbish message. Dh gets his holiday dates in January he has booked in every last date by Jan 4th so he doesn't miss a single day he could spend with his dds.

You only get one life and time with your kids while they are children is very very precious.

nannybeach · 03/06/2016 08:02

Sounds like my OH, he isnt selfish or thoughtless just forgets stuff, like a couple of weeks ago, I was doing an evening class, he had my car, was really late home, I was worried thinking, there was a problem on the road, no car was apparently, making a "funny" noise, so he stayed behind at work to fix it. I was cross when he casually said he had forgotten. It used to be a standing joke you could set your watch by me (incidentally, I can tell you the time night or day to within 10 minutes!) but my brain disapeared with the menoporse, apparently a lot of Drs call it the list syndrome, I still have to write lists, and sometimes I forget to read them. He now puts himself a note in his lunch box!