To have had children for something to love?

[Wetbankhols]

AIBU to think this is why most people have children?

I've heard it said there's something wrong with this - is there? What?

LittleLion, so true! You have a very wise mum!

molly that's interesting., I really did not read "for something to love" as meaning in the absence of anything/one else to love. I would imagine that people who have absolutely nobody in their lives to love are not too numerous, at least I sincerely hope that it is the case. However, the love we give and receive as a parent is so totally different to that of any other love I imagine that for many people (like me) having a partner and many loving relationships with friends & family does nothing to satisfy the emotional drive or urge for a child. One is not a replacement for another.

Sounds fine to me as long as you love them in the true sense of the world - i.e. want for them whatever will make them happy.

With the greatest of respect to LittleLions mum, it's not a unique quotation - it's common sense

I'm contemplating having a child and in many ways I do have to be more introspective as I will be having them as a single woman. It's about wanting to be a parent, whether because of a burning desire or because you didn't want an abortion (I thought that whole post was just really sad and I'm unsure why there's the s in response but possibly I am missing something.)

I lost family young and it does make you want people around you who you love unconditionally and you feel the same.

Let's face it, many people 'shouldn't' on the face of it be parents but once they are, they are!

Flowers, I hope something you do will bring you happiness For what it's worth it doesn't sound to me like you want a plaster as much as a chance to re parent yourself.

Do you think so, Mum? That's interesting too as I tend to think I there are a few. I'm one of them, which is a bit but it doesn't bother me so maybe it's more :) It's certainly a powerful position, albeit an isolated one.

I know kate but she says it so wistfully it could have been made for her. It's everything my mum is about, bless her, so I think of it as her's!

Well I hope so anyway kate It sounds like it's not an entirely negative situation for you though? Personally I don't know anyone who has neither a partner, nor relatives, nor close friends. Of course they exist, but I just imagine there aren't very many people in this situation. As I said, I really hope that's the case.

Reason had nothing to do with it. I didn't want children, then I did. No idea why. Glad it happened though.

I have close friends, but I don't kid myself I come before their partners and own children :) and nor should I.

LittleLion

claddagh I don't have much time to wait unfortunately. I have gyne issues that will get worse with time. I'm not prepared to gamble my fertility.

Kate Thank you