Working parents - how do you do it all?

[MalmMumma]

Just that really. I have a 2.5 year old DS, work 4 days, in a very busy, relatively stressful job and trying to progress to the next level within the next year or so. I feel like time runs away from me everyday and before I know it, it's time to go home and I've not achieved everything on my to do list. By the time we sort or tea, bath, bed, our own dinner, get tidied up, make lunch for the next day, do any washing etc, it's 9pm at the earliest and if I log onto emails at that point, I'm either totally ineffective/exhausted or can't sleep when I go to bed after too much screen time. Does anyone have a magic solution other than ! How do you juggle all the balls?

I should add that ds3 has asd! We're a barrel of joy, good fortune and easy living in this house!

Full time single parent with no family support. Preperation is the key to your sanity.

Massive monthly online shop for bulk buys so weekly shop at Aldi much easier. I do sandwiches every couple of days and put in fridge but will try the weekly/ in freezer tip next week.

I empty lunchboxes and check bags for homework as soon as I'm through the door so the DCs can do it while I cook tea.

Tape the programmes I like so I can catch up when I can.

Washing gets done as it builds up, ironing on Sunday.

School and work bags packed as much as possible the night before and left at front door. Clothes out at bottom of bed night before.

Make time for yourself. I train twice a week and DCs come with me.

And get a robot vaccuum cleaner. That little fella is worth his weight in gold!

I have an app for repeating errands - everything is on a rota.
Shared icalendar with dh
I have bleach and disposable antibacterial wipes in each toilet so they get cleaned most days as its all disposable (sorry environment)
Amazon prime has a been a godsend
We don't even own an iron. Just hang stuff up.
School craft projects can fuck off. I'm not spending Easter building a sodding Tudor house thanks.

Oh a student for the older ones may be a good idea. thanks

Bunkai, you sound super efficient. As a lone parent, how do you cope with school hols?

Single mum, full time job....

Not enough hours in the day.

I have recently swapped a full time stressful job for a full time less stressful job and life is much easier. I think a lot is in the planning. I spend half of my day off during the week (when dh is at work) doing all the house work, the laundry, the cleaning etc. Then on sat while I work he does a quick once over of all the jobs, and a load or two of washing. I do a weekly plan for our food and write it on a board so we both know what's each nights meal and where to find the recipe. I then do the shop on line and dh collects it and puts it away whilst I work on a sat. Dd4 is expected to put her toys away before bed, and keep her room tidy. She helps with specific chores which helps too.

Keeping on top of jobs makes life easier I think. So we try to tidy as we go. So the dishwasher goes on each evening before bed. I do all of our packed lunches the night before and get everyone's bags ready to go.

We are now finding that Sunday is now free for us to do something as a family or tackle the larger diy type jobs.

I have worked ft 9-5 m-f since DD1 was 3 months old. Now 21 .

Have 3 dcs and 4 DSC (2 live with us) and 2 p/t.

My house looks like it's been bombed by Thursday.

If I won the lottery I would buy my self a housekeeper. My neighbour has one and I am

Don't get me wrong, I don't wish to be a sahm. I know where my strengths lay. I am a completely crap housewife. But I am fab at my job

Curious that's not a bad idea. I just worry that I'll be embarrassed by the house being a mess sounds stupid. For anyone with cleaners what do you think are the jobs that are most beneficial at giving you more free time? Do they do whatever jobs you ask? Can you mix them up?

Loulou - mine does a clean through but the things that I find the most useful are the floor washing and hoovering through as I find those jobs physically difficult. Although she cleans surfaces etc too, those are easier to fit in as you go along really. She does ironing too if I leave some. My last one changed bedding but I don't ask this one to do that as I'd rather the ironing was done!

Loads of good tips here. Mine is to ditch baths for the DCs. Ours are 3.5 and 1.5 and they hardly ever have baths, maybe 1/2 times a month. They shower in the morning 2-3 times a week with DH. He gets on with showering while they splash about with toys, then he gives them quick once overs, takes a couple of minutes each. While he's doing that I can get myself ready in peace.

Two full time working parents here in senior stressful jobs. My tips are buy as much help as you can afford, cleaning, ironing, mowing the lawn, so long as the kitchen floor is cleaned, doesn't matter who did it.

Prioritise ruthessly, you can't do everything, do what is important, this includes at work, hire good people you can delegate to. I don't make lunches for me or DD, school dinners are good and filling. Buy enough clothes so you only have to do washing at the weekend.

Hey Stripey, hmmmmm I really struggle with the floors. They're all hard downstairs & i think the dyson is rubbish on the wood so it means sweeping the whole of downstairs & then washing the floors. I really will look into this. I hate ironing too! So that would be a godsend. I worry the cleaner will think I'm lazy . Will definitely look into. Thanks for your comments X

I have two children 11 and 2 and only took 4-5 months ML with each.also commute 1.5 hours each way (door to door if all is well).
OH has to be fully on board with sharing everything equally - looking after children, cooking, laundry, "wifework".
Outsource everything we can - cleaning, ironing, shopping deliveries, gardening so we can spend time with children at weekends (often separately as they do different activities).
We take turns to cook so the other gets a bit of downtime (after supervising homework/bath/bed so not much admittedly).
For childcare you don't just need plan A and plan B but plan too. We can each work from home one (possibly more) days a week which makes it easier to manage child illness, school meetings etc. We have nursery, school breakfast cub, two after clubs and a part time nanny plus a bank of regular babysitters to cover any gaps. No family to help unfortunately.
Holiday club for school aged child in holidays. Worried about lack of provision once at secondary in September though ... possibly a sports club (short day) and walking himself there and back etc. A summer au pair world be great but we don't have a spare room.
Overall I find it easier to go to work than be at home. No one messes up the house while it's empty and the kids meals are provided by nursery/school/club etc. Plus I enjoy my time with them extra specially as I've missed them!
We do always eat late and go to bed too late (to eke out a bit of an evening) but it's worth it!

I am also marie kondo-ing and its amazing!

It's impossible to 'do it all'. Something has to give, and you have to decide what that has to be at the time. Really think about what is necessary, and what's a 'nice to have'; what HAS to be done today, what can wait until tomorrow; what you can get (pay) someone else to do. And never be under the illusion that 'everyone else manages to do it all' because they don't: everyone is compromising on something!

How do any of you manage after-school activities? It's something I can't figure out, unless I engage an after-school nanny or similar.

I totally agree with EasilyDistracted. Something has to give. In my case it's my health, I tend to burn out and I've stopped looking after myself.

I leave at 7am and get home 8pm 4 days a week. In those 4 days everything slips. Then on the 3 days off everything gets back on track. It's never ending though.

I think you'd be a superwoman to work, parent and take care of yourself.

My thing is when I do have days off and am with the kids + DH we have really good quality time. Weekends and my days off we always eat together and do stuff together. It makes up for the stress.

I work 4 days, 2 kids, youngest about to go to school. DP works long hours. He can work from home but I do most of the pick up and drop off.

I have become much more ruthless about leaving work on time and not working in the evening unless its essentially. At work, I really only do what I can do better or more appropriately than someone else. So I really focus on adding value.

I flex my hours so I can leave early one day to do after school clubs. Babysitter arranges it on the other day.

Do minimal housework or cooking during the 4 days I work. Compensate by making healthy meals and doing washing etc at weekends. And have a cleaner.

My son did one after school activity on my work at home day (he did two more when I was on maternity leave) plus two lunchtime clubs. Also goes scouts - collected from AS club and dropped off at scout hut by nanny (who also has or toddler). He does gymnastics at the weekend. He fits in a lot considering we both work FT.

And for holidays, this year DD1 will do mixture of holiday clubs, time at home with us while we work from home and annual holiday. Have previously used student as babysitter.

next year she will go to my sister's (other end of country) for a week or two as well, and/or stay with granny.

Ive realised from reading this thread that I'm not mad and it is likely that it is virtually impossible without family or the possibility of flexible working. Add into the mix a DH who works away from home and a child with asd and I think sah is the only available option. I think I need to stop feeling guilty about that. I just wish there was another way.
Oh and thanks everyone for sharing what you all do re holidays.

I work 4 days in s stressful busy company. I have 2 DC who do 4 extra curricular activities each a week, no overlaps and weekends are full if sports. I'm bloody knackered most of the time. If everyone is fed, clean and sheltered at the end of the day, I consider that job done. My day off when they're at school is super busy but heaven sent, it keeps me sane.

You could hire a nanny for the holidays or take leave yourself when they do. Otherwise, vacation care.

I work 45 hours a week and my husband around 65 (self employed.) we have 3 children; 8, 5 and 2. Like many others we have a cleaner and do simple evening meals, but the big difference is that we have a nanny, who does our laundry and feeds the children. I usually take them to school and she picks up.

It's about getting into a regular routine and prioritizing. We tidy up during the week but don't do much more than that. I am 3 stone overweight and finally doing something about it, so I workout every day at 5:30am. It's the only time I have.

At risk of sounding a little harsh - is your child particularly "high maintenance@ or challenging? To be honest, when I had one and she was nursery age I thought it was pretty easy. If nursery are preparing your child's meals, can you not throw something in the crockpot in the morning, then eat together once she's in bed?

I don't mean to minimize how knackering it can be, and you certainly have a long working day, but one child between two of you shouldn't be that bad.