Working parents - how do you do it all?

[MalmMumma]

Just that really. I have a 2.5 year old DS, work 4 days, in a very busy, relatively stressful job and trying to progress to the next level within the next year or so. I feel like time runs away from me everyday and before I know it, it's time to go home and I've not achieved everything on my to do list. By the time we sort or tea, bath, bed, our own dinner, get tidied up, make lunch for the next day, do any washing etc, it's 9pm at the earliest and if I log onto emails at that point, I'm either totally ineffective/exhausted or can't sleep when I go to bed after too much screen time. Does anyone have a magic solution other than ! How do you juggle all the balls?

I work full time with one 4yo ds. I manage by doing a spectacularly mediocre job at pretty much everything. I set expectations of myself low, and if I exceed expectations then that's a bonus. The house is always a mess, my work is rushed, distracted and shoddy at best, and my parenting is average at best.

I'd love to reduce my hours but was laughed out of the office when I asked.

Oh yeah - you definitely have to let at least one thing fall by the wayside. For us it's the garden. I'm pretending it's a wildflower sanctuary. The grass hasn't been cut this year

Just wondering OP of you are doing a full time job role in 4 days? I have done this and it is pretty stressful trying to squeeze everything in with one day less.

I think organisation is key plus online shopping and I sometimes do batch cooking on my 'day off' to ease the pressure on busy work days. Things like Spag Bol or chilli are easy and I also make up freezer packs of prepped chopped veg,chicken etc for stir fry or slow cooker meals that can be just put together quickly.

We both work full time, kids older now 13 and 11. All the standard lowering life hacks already mentioned ++

Also approach it as a team. All in it together.Kids can cook, tidy up, unstack dishwashers, manage their own homework, put their washing away. They can cycle by you as you run and you can run while they play sport. Cats can be low maintenance dry food eaters.

I was in a big family in the 80's and thats how we survived. Now if my kids go to a house for tea and clear the table and put their stuff in the dishwasher it is remarked upon and I have to say not always replicated when their friends come round. So be a retro family

I cannot underestimate the importance of the to do list. I make one at the start of the week and allocate days to each task. Items that need to be bought also go on the list and I keep it in my pocket to add to it when I think of something else.

DP works in the same place I do and we try to make sure that one of us is always around before and after school - hours overlap during 9-3. Whoever is on the late shift / day off does the dishes, the other one puts them away when they get home and cooks for them and DD.

I do the vast majority of the cleaning / tidying either on Saturday morning when DD is sorting her bedroom or after bedtime before DP gets home.

Food shopping gets delivered once a month and is topped up by my frantic dash to the supermarket when DD is at ballet class.

Laundry gets done in 4/5 loads a week.

Everything gets double checked (PE kit, bills paid etc) before work and odd bits get done when I have 5 minutes. DP gets told to keep reminding me about things that I may forget.

It works but is all about to change with us both looking for new jobs and I'm dreading it.

Ah we've been lucky our next door farmer has offered to reseed and tend a lot of our garden in return for the hay. We used the spare time to plant potatoes and veg but at least we enjoy that.

You may of course need to adjust your goals be it as a parent, employee or wife and let something's be less than perfect.

We both work long full time hours, with long commutes. Two children, no cleaner.

I manage everything by being very organised, lists and lots of reminds in my iPhone.

Re housework, we're very good at prioritising, kitchen and bathrooms get down if nothing else. Laundry is always up to date but there's usually an ironing pile.

Hoovering, floors etc get done on Saturday mornings. Everyone pitches in, including the DC when necessary.

For cooking I batch cook and use the slow cooker.

It all usually works pretty well. I don't get much sleep though.

Place marking will join in later after I return from my second job
2 dc both parents working 50+ hours per week

We did it. I can't tell you how we did it. We just did. The best we had it was when I worked 4 10 hour days. I started at 10am so sorted Dd and did some house boys in the morning. Dh started at 6.30pm and sorted Dd in the evening and did some jobs.

I had three days off. Two during the week. One of them was literally catching up on housework, the other was jobs outside the house. Big shop, getting bits for Dd for school if needed etc.

Dh had Dd on Saturday and took her out for the day and Sunday was family day.

Now we own our own business and work from home, so we do it as we go. Washing goes in if I go upstairs, comes out when it's ready for example.

I didn't do some house boys at all....I did some house jobs

It's fine as long as both parents do their fair share. Apologies to single parents - you have my admiration.

Dh and I both work full time. Two kids in school. Everyone out in the morning, back in the evening. Enjoy the mundane.

As long as everyone pitches in, there shouldn't be any resentment. Life can be tiring but I reckon I would always be happier working. I remind myself of this if I ever feel sorry for myself.

Grit your teeth, and realise that it all gets incomparably easier when they start full time school. (Then easier again when they get to be teenagers and you can make them do the washing up and cooking some of the time and tell them it's all for their own good )

Weekly meal planning helps me.
If you do let anything slide, don't be too hard on yourselves. Very few people have everything covered all of the time despite outward appearances!

I have 3 kids, 2 jobs and am at uni. Husband works long hours. A cleaner, gardener, ironing person helps me hugely. Id love someone to do all my washing, bed linen changes, packed lunches, etc etc. Thatd be bliss

Oh i forgot to say, having a diary thats 100% accurate is essential for me. Plus online food shopping.

Dh and I work ft but I'm under no illusions that the reason I've continued to progress in my career despite having a child is because dh is very hands on and does a lot of the dropping off and picking up. He's essentially agreed that I have the higher earning potential and has stepped up to support me. It has also got a bit easier as ds has got older (now 5) and i've worked very slightly reduced hours (35pw) over 5 days - so i work two long days and two short days. We've never had a cleaner, our house is always tidy, we still get plenty of family time and the balance is right for us. We are very well organised though and plan ahead. I expect it's far more difficult with two - we'll see as I'm expecting our second in November - although we purposely left a large age gap for this reason. I'm also exceptionally fortunate that my profession is very supportive of women and therefore family friendly. Providing the work gets done and gets done well, they're quite relaxed and flexible about when and where I work. I commute 80 miles to London once or twice a week and work from home the rest of the time.

Plan, plan and more planning. I have lots of reminders on my phone, so I don't forget anything.

Single Mum here, in a busy full time job. No support from Ex-H. Disney Dad who see's DS every other weekend. The weekend DS isn't here, I batch cook for the week. I have an ironing lady and a gardener and do the cleaning every weekend. When DS is here on a weekend he pitches in with some cleaning.

I just get on with us, but make sure I plan stuff.

I am a single parent (Ds dad lives abroad so no time 'off' ever) and I work full time hours condensed and run another business too.

Agree with outsourcing - I have an amazing cleaner who changes beds, shoves a load of washing in etc.

On a Sunday I lay out all the school uniform for the week ahead, then the night before I have it all set out ready.

I have a tight schedule that starts at 530am, and I am always clock watching to make sure I don't miss the next cue (7:15 Ds has to be getting dressed, 7:30 we have to go down stairs etc)

Everything goes on the calendar, I buy as much as possible on the Internet, food during the week is very basic and I eat with DS really early rather than make a separate meal later. He only has a bath 3 /4 times a week.

Lastly, 4 -6:30pm is absolutely off limits to anyone except DS. Work (both businesses) know I won't answer the phone or action things unless an absolute emergency during this time.

I don't!

Once you accept that you can't do it all, life is more enjoyable.

I just make sure my child is fed, watered, and happy which she is. My house is not perfect, but I don't care anymore. Bills are mostly paid by DD but if I get a reminder I then pay. Sometimes I'm not on top of everything!

Too much wasted energy on stressing how to be better, I know my limits

I expect, and like others who have experienced the juggling act. Things naturally improve once our children become more dependent.

It's ridiculously hard. Being super organised helps, as does lowering expectations of yourself, state of your home, type of dinner prepared every night etc otherwise you will run yourself into the ground.

3 kids, work full time. no outside help. dh and I not together but we co-parent.
I agree with the reducing standards and not being overly fussy. I'm not good at prioritising time for myself AT ALL. (which is why I am obese and stressed)

But YY to
making lunches the night before
bags packed the night before
clothes chosen the night before
washing machine on every day

Just bought a cheap dishwasher and tumbledryer after having neither for almost 5 months (don't know how I coped)

I have been a single parent for 13 years and worked throughout,I have no family in the country,the kids dad lives abroad.I am a deputy head at a large primary.
My day I get up early 5 - 5.30 I make dinner for the evening,do laundry prepare for the day.
I recently got a cleaner,brilliant makes such a difference.
I online shop,have online diary.I am ruthless with my time .I work through lunch.
Most importantly I don't worry about it all too much,my kids are now teens they seem fine,even if sometimes thery have had cereal for dinner.

I used to work three long days a week, recently changed to full time (8-4) but time only. DH works full time and is rarely home before 7pm.

Online shopping is an absolute godsend. I don't iron anything that doesn't really, really need ironing. I try to clean and tidy up as I go along, but if we have a particularly manic week and let things slide we just catch up on the weekends. DH and I have a shared online calendar which we update religiously in order to keep track of everything. We batch cook on the weekends and the slow cooker gets a lot of use in the winter. I think the key is to be organised but be prepared to accept that sometimes the day won't work out the way you planned and you might have to let something slide.

I make the dc's lunches on a Sunday night and pop into the freezer. Sandwiches and wraps freeze well and remain nice and fresh after being in lunchbag all morning. Ditto Frubes.

My lunch is usually leftovers put in Tupperware.

I never cook enough for just one meal. I always double up and either freeze or fridge it.

Dh and I split the mental work. So, I do lunches and most food organising. Dh does uniform and homework. I put away clothes, dh does ironing. And so on.