AIBU to think this Supermarket is judging my parenting?

[Doingmybestmum]

AIBU? Standing in a queue in Tesco with (home from uni) DD chatting to me. I was clutching a much anticipated bottle of Pimms, with accompanying lemonade, strawberries, mint etc... goodies going through when charmless checkoutee asks for age of said 21 year old DD and ID for her or she would not be able to sell me the Pimms. I calmly explained that I (substantially over 21) am buying said alcoholic beverage with my money and a) DD is only standing next to me b) its my money c) DD is over 21 and d) what on earth... the manager was called and I was allowed to purchase. AIBU to think that this is ridiculous - I understand that adults must not buy alcohol for underage children, but if you were - would it be Pimms, and would you have the "child" standing next to you?

I get you. I've no idea and never had to ask a child for id

I'd probably call the supervisor and let them deal with it

I suppose it makes sense too as that's the age you can take most adult medicines

A packet of paracetamol I've just checked (potentially much nastier in overdose than Ibuprofen, too) has instructions for "Adults and children over 12" and "Children aged 6 to 11". I'd be surprised if there were many analgesics available OTC which didn't have similar instructions. Which OTC drugs are you thinking of which are not recommended for, say, ten year olds?

Paracetamol and ibuprofen are the standard ones, aren't they? So I mean those, mainly. Aspirin is not recommended for over 16. Ibuprofen can be nasty too and give you an ulcer which could haemorrhage.

Then again, adults can accidentally overdose or fail to follow instructions, too.

My daughter's twelve and i probably wouldn't send her out for paracetamol and I would tend to supervise her with it.

I don't really know what I'm trying to say but, I guess if you are over twelve as opposed to under, if you end up taking two, it doesn't matter and it would if you are under. Also, you'd think older children would be better at following instructions but saying that I still wouldn't trust mine

I was in Asda doing a shop, buying about £60 of stuff. Including a bottle of cider for dh. I'm disabled so I was loading trolley and ds1 15 was packing. He put his hand out to pick up the cider and cashier went apeshit. I grabbed it as he did as I could see her twitching.
I can't sell you that she said now. You can have the rest of your shopping though. No thanks I said either sell me the lot or I'll leave all this on the conveyor and go buy my stuff elsewhere. Aldi She changed her mind.

I rarely shop there now, no sympathy that their losing customers.

*they're grammar fail lol

Sorry I meant to say under 16 for aspirin.

Still I always say that the rules aren't always explained to us in great detail and call a supervisor if they want to discuss it.

Saying that, I have never ever had a complaint about the age limit for paracetamol. I have about the two pack rule though . There's a law for that but I believe it to be more than two packs but that's our stance on it. The till doesn't scan after that but there's nothing to stop them queuing up again elsewhere

Mind you it's bloody annoying on those self scan tills

I have about the two pack rule though

That's a rule which should make sense, but has been corrupted (some supermarkets have some crazy "no more than two age limited items", so you can't buy a pack of analgesics and two 15 rated DVDs).

Paracetamol is a nasty thing to overdose on. 16 tablets, one packet, is survivable for an adult, with intervention. 32 tablets probably isn't. The idea is not to prevent the determined suicide going to two shops and buying four packets, but to discourage (nudge, perhaps) people into not bulk buying it and keeping it in quantity at home, when unplanned "cry for help" suicides might just take everything they can find. You don't want to take 32 ibuprofen either, but if you're pumped out you'll probably be OK; 32 paracetamol will be fatal unless you're treated rapidly. It's also horribly easy to overdose on paracetamol if you're taking a bit too much at a time for a bit too long, as the damaging components build up. Reducing the amount of paracetamol people hold at home "just in case" has reduced deaths quite markedly.

I don't keep it in the house unless we have a need for it explicitly. We all tolerate ibuprofen (ie, the risk of stomach bleeds is very low) and it's both more effective and a lot safer.

AFAIK...there is no law requiring UK subjects to compulsory carry any form of ID (except in certain professions).

I can't see how preventing an adult buying alchohol when a child is present is really going to change attitudes to alchohol. To me it is making it attractive by being forbidden.
DD16 & I will drink the odd cider with a meal or in the evening, try a Pimms on a nice day (obviously very uncool but not had complaints here) as part of educating her on sensible alchohol use. Having drama at the checkout wouldn't help.

Sounds totally ridiculous.
It was you who was purchasing the alcohol not your daughter.
The person is a idiot.

I used to work on the checkouts in Tescos.

Honestly after a 10 hour shift making small talk, the beeping (you can never get rid of the bloody checkout beep) and managers pulling you aside for not scanning quickly enough/taking too long of a toilet break/having to void an item and the fear they used to instil in you if you sold a can of shandy to someone who looks younger than 32, well, you get a bit paranoid.

They're doing a job, and really, what bloody harm does it do if you can't buy a bottle of plonk there and then. It's no big deal.

It is a big deal butts when the rules are applied with no common sense whatsoever.

No-one is complaining about groups of teens hiding round the side of the shop while the one of them who is over 18 goes in to buy enough cider for all of them to get pissed in the park. They are complaining about ridiculous assumptions and misinterpretations of the law.

I was refused alcohol because while they were happy that no law was being broken because they were confident I was over 18 (I was about 36 at the time) I could not prove I was over 25, so the store policy trumped the law in their eyes.

Another poster on this thread has been refused alcohol because her 15 YO DS touched the bottle while helping his disabled mum scanning heavy items. How does helping with scanning equate intention to drink, which wouldn't be illegal anyway in the home under parental supervision. Is he supposed to stand there and watch her struggle to comply with a bollocks shop policy?

Others have been refused because they are in the mere company of teen DCs or younger siblings and the cashier has assumed with no evidence whatsover that the alcohol is for the minor when it is in fact for the adult.

Test purchasers cannot lie or entrap so that is no excuse either. The cashier will only get in trouble with the law if they allow the sale without asking for ID and there is reasonable evidence that the minor plans to drink the alcohol.

Those two sisters age 15 and 20 buying a bottle of whisky could equally be buying it as a present for their dad's birthday as they could be intending to go drink it at the bus stop.

There are two issues Bolo, one is the law and the other is supermarket policy. I'm not sure which one you're most exercised about. If a supermarket wants you to sing a song at the checkout before you can buy booze they are perfectly entitled to. And people will because supermarkets have a lot of choice of booze and sell it cheaply in big quantities.

Yes the loophole where you can consume alcohol at home if you are over 5 is ridiculous. I assume that this remains on the statute books to protect parents against prosecution and put the onus on sellers of alcohol. Would a preferable situation be to ban any alcohol consumption by under 14/16/18 and hold the parent or responsible adult liable? I don't know. Genuine question.

Children who are given alcohol by their parents are more likely to grow up to be problem drinkers. (Yes this includes all the nice middle class children who are given watered down wine at meals "like the French".) And underage drinkers have access to alcohol because an adult has bought it them.

Yes it's a blunt semi-solution and crudely applied but how else do you restrict sales of alcohol to children?

Bolograph

Has this ever happened? Has a supermarket cashier been prosecuted in their own right and fined, ever?

www.heart.co.uk/southcoast/news/local/cashiers-fined-selling-underage-alcohol/

An operation, carried out at off-licences and pubs in the New Milton and Lymington areas of the New Forest, has ended up with five cashiers being issued with fixed penalty notices.

So the cashiers caution is very well founded. Let's ease off a bit, eh ? Especially as I will guarantee there are scumbag employers out there who will threaten to sack cashiers who don't put themselves on the line (cf courier firms who insist their drivers speed and park illegally).

I think cashiers need to use their common sense a bit

They're not paid for that.

Yes there was absolutely judgement here, but not by the staff member thinking that you were going to give alcohol to an underage individual; but by the company judging that their staff are too stupid to properly understand and interpret licensing law and use their knowledge and common sense when applying it. You can see this on here just by the fact that so many supermarket or ex supermarket staff have misquoted the law as what they had drilled into them.

I have yet to have this problem, but as my eldest is nearing her teenage years I may start making her wait outside.

common sense have no place when mystery shoppers are employed to check they are following protocol regardless of whether any law has actually been broken.or not.

for instance I know full well that the dad bring g his 2 yr old in just wants to use the toilet. but i can't allow even a 1 hr old baby through the doors. regardless of the fact its obvious that baby will not be betting.

abs yes it may be very obvious that the 14 yr old has just been dragged shopping g after school and is not planning in stealing said purchase and passing out at the bus stop. but that one you let slide could mean you lose your job.

This is a routine practise. The Police and Trading Standards regularly conduct tests with underage "customers", and this does include minors with adults. If the cashier thought there was a small chance you were buying the pimms for your DD, she was doing her job. The consequences for a retail employee serving an underage person are very severe - up to a 10k fine, prison, job loss, etc. Also, a retailer can lose their alcohol license, costing them potentially millions in revenue. Suck it up and encourage DD to carry ID with her. When she's my age she'll be flattered to be asked. Oh, and "charmless cashier" was unnecessary .

but I can promise you this much. that it's not done to piss you off. it's done to make sure that no one underage is served age restricted products or is influenced in any way.

I agree with your first statement. However, I disagree with your second. It has all to do with making "... sure that no one underage is served age restricted products or is influenced in any way" and everything to do with "it's the rules innit ?".

An awful lot of whinging on this thread. We're the generation who wanted our kids protected everywhere from anything and everything. Now we have it, we're still not happy. What can a government do ?

Children who are given alcohol by their parents are more likely to grow up to be problem drinkers.

Cite ?

And yet it was Tesco here who sold my no1son and his friends a whole bottle of scotch on his 15th birthday and the cashier never batted an eyelid

I was allowed to drink in the home. As kids we were given Babysham or a snowball at Christmas. Sometimes mum would let us have a lager shandy if people were round. As a teen the rule was we could have a drink but only if we were staying in.

I've always been an occasional drinker and maybe drink a handful of times a year.

It has all to do with making

hmmm quadruple asterisk fail - I meant to say "fuck all to do" ....