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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this Supermarket is judging my parenting?

384 replies

Doingmybestmum · 31/05/2016 15:30

AIBU? Standing in a queue in Tesco with (home from uni) DD chatting to me. I was clutching a much anticipated bottle of Pimms, with accompanying lemonade, strawberries, mint etc... goodies going through when charmless checkoutee asks for age of said 21 year old DD and ID for her or she would not be able to sell me the Pimms. I calmly explained that I (substantially over 21) am buying said alcoholic beverage with my money and a) DD is only standing next to me b) its my money c) DD is over 21 and d) what on earth... the manager was called and I was allowed to purchase. AIBU to think that this is ridiculous - I understand that adults must not buy alcohol for underage children, but if you were - would it be Pimms, and would you have the "child" standing next to you?

OP posts:
justatoe1 · 31/05/2016 22:29

Never have an issue buying alchohol with 16 yr old DD who easily looks 18, but tonight was asked who was paying for our trolley load before I could buy pain killers.
This did make us laugh as not sure many under 16s would pay for weekly shopping!

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 22:33

Oh yes the adults serving underage kids quite freely are really going to be keeping me safe aren't they?

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 22:36

along with the off license staff who sold me a bottle of vodka.

now I looked young at 16. I got away with half fare on buses til I was 18. I could have gone on longer but I owned up.

there was no way I looked old enough and my friends were younger than.i was

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 22:41

but tonight was asked who was paying for our trolley load before I could buy pain killers.

Why shouldn't 14 year olds be able to obtain ibuprofen for period pain without needing to get an adult to buy it for them? Since, unlike with alcohol, there is no legal issue with children buying OTC medication (see the NHS guidance here) here companies really are just making up their own stuff as they go along.

GuiltyPleasure · 31/05/2016 22:46

In the last week, in my local supermarket, I needed authorisation when buying a Tom & Jerry dvd (I suspect they were worried by the high violence content), but not for the bottle of Apple Sourz, bottle of vodka & large bottle of lemonade, which anyone would've realised was for a teenage party (to be consumed in a supervised home environment). DD (16) was also at the checkout - I usually make her wait outside. The case of wine for which I was also not asked to provide id for was definitely mine though.

RitchyBestingFace · 31/05/2016 22:47

No wonder we have a drinking problem in this country when any attempt to make it slightly more inconvenient to buy vast quantities of cheap booze is met with foot stamping fury.

simplysarcastic · 31/05/2016 22:47

Some stores enforce the proxy sale policy more rigoursly than others. It is to protect the licence holder and to ensure the principles of the licencing act are being upheld.

Someone queried up thread if a checkout operator had actually been to court and I can 100% assure you it happens.

I was a supermarket manager for 17 years and the DPS of the store. I was lying on a beach in Spain to recieve a phone call that my store had been test purchased by a BBC documentary and the local trading standards team. The checkout operator failed. We were hauled up in court and fined despite the fact I wasn't even in the country.

RitchyBestingFace · 31/05/2016 22:50

The pub trade is dying because staff are too officious at checking ID? That's a new one. I thought pubs are closing because of smoking ban, high rents, protectionist brewery policies, cost of booze compared to retail and because there are a lot more interesting things to do in the evening these days.

TheresADogOnYourBalls · 31/05/2016 22:55

Just get your booze at Majestic - I go there frequently to pick up large orders for my employers, generally accompanied by their (young) teenage son, (he is sent to 'help' me). Staff have never said a word, other than to say to him conversationally whilst loading the car, "having a party mate??" Grin

justatoe1 · 31/05/2016 23:11

Thank you Bolograph Stores seem to impose a 16+ limit for pain killers which is ridiculous, as you say ... DD couldn't just pop out & buy some pain killers for period pains even though according to the law it is perfectly legal.

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 23:16

We were hauled up in court and fined despite the fact I wasn't even in the country.

Who's we? The repeated claim is that checkout operators are being personally prosecuted and personally fined.

Jellytotsandtinytots · 31/05/2016 23:19

If they think you're buying the alcohol for someone under the age of 18 they can refuse sale, same applies if a child of that sort of age is with you and they suspect it's for them, it's the law I'm afraid

simplysarcastic · 31/05/2016 23:21

We being the checkout operator and myself the designated supervisor

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 23:21

No wonder we have a drinking problem in this country when any attempt to make it slightly more inconvenient to buy vast quantities of cheap booze is met with foot stamping fury.

You could make it inconvenient by demanding that everyone over 35 has to sing a song at the checkout. The question is whether the refusal to sell alcohol in supermarkets to adults with ID if they are accompanied by someone under 18 has prevented any child, ever, from obtaining alcohol. Is "I know, I'll get someone doing their Saturday morning shop to buy me a bottle of Pimms" a problem to which we need a solution?

Something must be done.

This is something.

Therefore this must be done.

It just, in the manner of prohibition, makes the rules look stupid. Many parents buy alcohol for their children to consume. To do so is perfectly legal in the UK. None of this charade is preventing them from doing so. If you want to campaign for unenforceable legislation about home consumption of alcohol by teenagers, knock yourself out. The current situation is a load of moralising without presenting a clear statement of either what problem is being addressed or how the purported solution addresses it.

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 23:22

We being the checkout operator and myself the designated supervisor

And what was the outcome?

gandalf456 · 31/05/2016 23:26

You need to be to be twelve to buy painkillers

GreaseIsNotTheWord · 31/05/2016 23:27

I had ructions with Tesco once, a few years ago.

I was buying a bottle of wine (aged 20) and had my sister with me, who was 14. They refused to serve me because she didn't have ID Hmm.

A manager was called. He looked really uncomfortable and said he agreed with me, but their policy was to always back up their staff. The cashier sat there grinning at me the whole time, looking pleased as punch that the manager also refused to serve me.

Anyway...I emailed a complaint in and walked away with a £50 giftvoucher so not all was bad.

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 23:34

You need to be to be twelve to buy painkillers

Says who?

NHS statement:

www.nhs.uk/chq/Pages/1009.aspx

The Royal Pharmaceutical Society does not have any specific rules on a suitable age for buying OTC medicines. Similarly, the Medicines and Healthcare products Regulatory Agency (MHRA), which makes sure that medicines and medical devices work and are safe, has not issued any guidance. However, some retail outlets have specific company policies that restrict the sale of OTC medicines to children.

gandalf456 · 31/05/2016 23:34

Ok. I am going by my till

gandalf456 · 31/05/2016 23:35

I suppose it makes sense too as that's the age you can take most adult medicines

simplysarcastic · 31/05/2016 23:37

And what was the outcome?

We both recieved a fine.

MerchantofVenice · 31/05/2016 23:37

I really detest this sort of bullshit, token law-making.

This 'law' (if indeed it is a law - it seems awfully fuzzy) can so easily be circumvented that it is entirely pointless.

If you are buying for the underage person, and are refused in this manner, you will quickly learn not to have the hapless youth standing right next to you at the checkout. Net result: the exact same amount of alcohol is purchased and consumed.

I get that we're not supposed to blame the cashier etc - but the bottom line is that it's a pointless, box-ticking rule that benefits precisely no-one. If the alcohol-seeking youth and over-age accomplice fell foul of that particular supermarket, they'd hone their technique and move on.

There may be ways of addressing underage drinking, but this is not one of them.

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 23:39

I am going by my till

This is the point. All this stuff is made up by companies tying themselves in knots trying to keep "campaigners" happy. Take the instance above with a 20 year old and their 14 year old sister buying wine: why would Tesco's give a fifty quid voucher in apology if the legal position were clear cut? Why are some supermarkets entirely happy to sell wine with Saturday morning shops to people with children in tow, while others notable Asda, owned by moralising Walmart - make a song and dance about it?

Yes, I'm sorry that checkout staff are caught in the middle of this, but the policies they are enacting are largely bollocks, and their employers should either (a) clearly state and stick to a policy on accompanied alcohol sales or (b) stop pretending they have legal obligations they don't.

The stuff about analgesic sales is madness, too. Twelve? Sixteen? Pick a number, you'll find a shop that uses that as a policy. Could someone remind me how a 12 year old could prove they are 12 and not 11: what document would they be carrying which might do that?

Bolograph · 31/05/2016 23:40

We both recieved a fine.

How did you plead?

gandalf456 · 31/05/2016 23:41

Perhaps write to head office if you feel strongly ? They're the decision makers. I often get complaints about all sorts of things and it's frustrating. They say feed it back but that would be my manager who doesn't make these kinds of decisions either