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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this Supermarket is judging my parenting?

384 replies

Doingmybestmum · 31/05/2016 15:30

AIBU? Standing in a queue in Tesco with (home from uni) DD chatting to me. I was clutching a much anticipated bottle of Pimms, with accompanying lemonade, strawberries, mint etc... goodies going through when charmless checkoutee asks for age of said 21 year old DD and ID for her or she would not be able to sell me the Pimms. I calmly explained that I (substantially over 21) am buying said alcoholic beverage with my money and a) DD is only standing next to me b) its my money c) DD is over 21 and d) what on earth... the manager was called and I was allowed to purchase. AIBU to think that this is ridiculous - I understand that adults must not buy alcohol for underage children, but if you were - would it be Pimms, and would you have the "child" standing next to you?

OP posts:
Bolograph · 31/05/2016 15:51

if someone sells alcohol which looks like it could be being purchases for someone under age then it is classed as the employees fault.

You'll have a reference to a case to hand, I take it?

"Looks like" is not "knowingly".

Police and trading standards frequently target shops as a test.

But aren't allowed to lie, as that would be entrapment. "Is the alcohol for your minor companion?" "No, it's for me". End of conversation, end of legal problem.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 15:54

you have no idea bow strict they are about these things.

we are tested constantly. and I mean constantly. we have to document each and every ID we do.

there's a huge fine, loss of licenses and of course the job itself if a person fails to ask fir I'D.

yabvu

NeedACleverNN · 31/05/2016 15:54

It's daft sometimes.

I don't have ID though I really should rectify that as I am constantly asked. This is why I don't buy age restricted products.

My dh will go and buy alcohol if we want it. After being asked for ID once for me despite dh buying it AND I had our children with us, I now wander off when he buys it and meet him after he has paid

Chianablue · 31/05/2016 15:55

Yabu checkout staff have to be careful, they are told if they mess up it will cost them their job and a fine.
Checkout staff must I.d. EVERY person going through the checkout that are buying alcohol that look under 25. Obviously not children. But you said dd is over 21 so yes by law she did need to check both I.d's.

DecaffCoffeeAndRollupsPlease · 31/05/2016 15:56

I've been refused alcohol when shopping with my teen dd, in Tesco it was too. The law is not that clear when it's perfectly legal for me to buy alcohol, take it home and allow my child some (in this case that is actually what I intended to do). But you can't buy alcohol on behalf of an underage person. I was very annoyed. Called for the manager and was still refused.

My only other shopping on the belt was for the food bank so I didn't do the stomp off I had wanted to. I did dump the shopping then direct a "miserable jobsworth" in the manager's direction as we left though.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 15:56

Oh and as everywhere is think 21 or think 25. the plants are in fact under 22/25 but over 18.

so even though you haven't served someone who is underage. the staff member can still get in shit fir not asking

NeedACleverNN · 31/05/2016 15:58

And there's nothing wrong with blue wkd which I drink with a bottle of lemon Smirnoff ice in one glass

Grin
OurBlanche · 31/05/2016 15:58

The reason checkout staff have to be so very careful is NOT down to a law but down to their employer taking a rigid stance on it.

As has already been pointed out, not all supermarkets are so strict. The Over 25 is not law either, so by law, no check was necessary.

There is a big difference between law and policy - blame the retailer, it is their choice to be so draconic!

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 31/05/2016 15:59

An ice cold blue WKD on a hot summers day is a beautiful thing Smile

NeedsAsockamnesty · 31/05/2016 16:00

Ive been refused cigarettes when with a under 10, and Yep they were making a judgement on me as a human being.

There was nothing at all to suggest I was possibly purchasing those items for the under 10yo no suspicious behaviour no whispered by me 10 l&b's no attempts to hide the 10yo.

getyourfingeroutyournose · 31/05/2016 16:01

YABU. We used to have to do this when I worked for a big supermarket. If I sold the alcohol to you without ID'ing your daughter too (as I presume she looks under 25) then I could have had a lot worse done to me than lose my job.
We had it drilled into us that the police often sent in various people who were under age and under instruction to buy alcohol in varying ways. One of those ways was to get an adult to buy it with/for them.
We were constantly told that if we were ever caught selling alcohol to anyone underage then not only would we lose our job but we personally would probably be fined and end up with a criminal record/court case on our hands as well as a fine to the supermarket too.
For me as an employee, it wasn't worth me losing my job and ending up with a criminal record and fine I couldn't afford to not ID someone's son/daughter. I remember being bollocked for ID'ing a mum who had her toddler with her and selling her the alcohol because she was old enough and to me was obviously not being bribed by her 2 year old to buy the whiskey. My supervisor was being a twat at the time but you see what stupid issues come up with this.
I get it's annoying for you but it's not the checkout workers fault. They have to be that OTT because they probably have a crap supervisor breathing down their necks and ready to take them in for a disciplinary over anything.

DotForShort · 31/05/2016 16:02

It is quite silly, though I imagine the cashier was simply following the shop's procedure. At least the manager was sensible in this instance.

A friend of mine was not allowed to buy a bottle of wine (not in the UK), as there was some sort of asinine policy that stated they needed to see proof of age for anyone who appeared younger than 45. Moreover, they would only accept a local ID as proof. As my friend is not a resident of the country he was travelling in, he could not produce the ID they wanted (though he had plenty of identification). It was utterly ridiculous. Nowhere in the world is 45 the legal drinking age, and he was clearly over the age of 20!

BettyDraper1 · 31/05/2016 16:03

I got IDd once buying a tin of soup. I still don't know why.

diddl · 31/05/2016 16:03

"A person who works on relevant premises in any capacity commits an offence if he knowingly delivers to a child under 18 alcohol sold on the premises, or supplied on the premises (in the case of a club). Similar offences are committed by a person who knowingly allows anybody else to deliver the alcohol."

When does the alcohol stop being the possession of the shop then & become the possession of the adult who has purchased it?

Abbinob · 31/05/2016 16:04

Julia- it isn't the law. I work in a supermarket and the law is that if you have a good reason to believe someone is buying it for someone underage then you can't serve them. So for example if you see some kids handing money to someone outside who then comes and buys vodka or whatever. NOT just someone who happens to be with someone else. Just did my think 25 shit and had to watch a fuck ton of boring example videos. But the lady working was probably just being cautious because they do kind of scare the shit out of you about selling to underage people and fines etc

LurkingHusband · 31/05/2016 16:05

The test is "knowingly".

The problem is, in English law, the courts are the judge of that. So a cashier could find themselves in court, where the prosecution claims they "knew" the alcohol was for an underage person, and the cashier has to defend themselves saying "I didn't know it was".

Anyone here fancy a day in court (at their own expense, naturally) with a criminal record as a prize ?

No, me neither.

I'm old enough, and ugly enough to know that any course of action which relies on other peoples "common sense" is extremely high-risk.

NeedACleverNN · 31/05/2016 16:07

I got IDd once buying a tin of soup. I still don't know why

Did the soup contain vodka? Confused

I got ID'd for calpol which I thought was a pisstake to be honest

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 16:07

It never cases to amaze me where I work. (are restrictions apply)

how many people are prepared to be refused service multiple times and at times have police called on them for being abusive or refusing to leave. rather than bring some I'D.

NKFell · 31/05/2016 16:14

I got ID'd for a DVD- it was a 15.

I LOVE the idea of underaged kids getting sloshed on Pimms... "Please can you buy me some Pimms....DON'T FORGET THE FRUIT!".

Carry on.

LotsOfShoes · 31/05/2016 16:15

It's happened to me when with my parents a few years ago - Tesco refused to sell them a set of steak knives until I showed them my ID (I guess I should have been flattered) Recently it's happened to us when with our nieces. We have resorted to always asking them to wait outside now if we're shopping with them. I think it's ridiculous.

Original poster
Doingmybestmum · 31/05/2016 16:16

Thanks all, I shall make a point of buying Pimms and handing it to the first child that comes out of my local primary school - I'm sure their parents will be most grateful! Seriously though it made me utterly furious and I won't be going back - I really don't blame the charmless cashier, just stupid over zealous and ineffectual rule enforcement....

OP posts:
LotsOfShoes · 31/05/2016 16:16

Oh, and we got ID'd when buying lemon ice cream (it had limoncello in it)

Abbinob · 31/05/2016 16:17

I got ID'd for soothers once. SOOTHERS. THE FUCKING SWEETS. I can only guess something fucked up and they were coming up on the till as age restricted but I mean seriously, soothers.

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 16:17

kids drink anything.

as the fun is in the fact they shouldn't have it.

mixture of whisky rum and orange juice anyone? liqueur cupboard cocktails Blush

truth is alcohol can cause serious damage at a young age. people should try and see past the inconvenience and be thankful that at least at that supermarket if someone's roped in an older brother to buy it fir them, then there's a good chance they won't be sold it of they dint have I'D ajd they are with them.

that's better than alcohol poisoning and stomach puma in a&e isn't it?

Gileswithachainsaw · 31/05/2016 16:17

pumps