AIBU to think this Supermarket is judging my parenting?

[Doingmybestmum]

AIBU? Standing in a queue in Tesco with (home from uni) DD chatting to me. I was clutching a much anticipated bottle of Pimms, with accompanying lemonade, strawberries, mint etc... goodies going through when charmless checkoutee asks for age of said 21 year old DD and ID for her or she would not be able to sell me the Pimms. I calmly explained that I (substantially over 21) am buying said alcoholic beverage with my money and a) DD is only standing next to me b) its my money c) DD is over 21 and d) what on earth... the manager was called and I was allowed to purchase. AIBU to think that this is ridiculous - I understand that adults must not buy alcohol for underage children, but if you were - would it be Pimms, and would you have the "child" standing next to you?

Most people who use Supermarkets are aware of this policy.

People who shop with their children know not to buy alcohol, and uncomplainingly don't? Seriously?

And why, in the years I shopped most weekends with my children, was I never challenged?

I do my shopping online mostly (which it does state the fact that you could be ID'd in the T&c)

Do they refuse to deliver to houses in which there is a child, even if the door is answered by an adult? Doesn't that rather limit their market? How does the person delivering know that the alcohol isn't being delivered on behalf of a child?

not looked fir a sign stating purchase of alcohol whilst with kids but I shall next time.

Look away. You won't find it.

I think.of you spent a month working in one of these places knowing that you are going to be repeatedly tested and face personal fines and lose your job should you fail.

perhaps you would be a bit more understanding.

believe me we have far better things to do than be yelled at, threatened, and have to call the police.

but we do it because we have to. that is what we have been told to do. and mystery shoppers will reveal if we are doing it or not.

I went to the co-op with ds (14) recently. I bought wine and food. After I paid I asked DS to carry the heavy bag with wine bottles in it but the cashier said he couldn't do that, he had to take the light bag with bread & crisps in it until we got outside. I was a bit surprised about that, tesco never tell me I can't let the DC push a trolley with alcohol in it out of the store.

Yes most people know that if they buy alcohol and they have a teenager with them that there's a chance the teenager could be ID.

So why does it cause such incredulity? And why only a "chance"? Surely you should be doing it every time. And what's the definition of "teenager"? Can I buy booze in the company of a thirteen year old? What law do you think is being transgressed?

face personal fines

Has this ever happened? Has a supermarket cashier been prosecuted in their own right and fined, ever?

I don't doubt that shops treat their staff badly. But it appears to be based on a made-up bogeyman, in that the CPS charging guidelines would require a hell of a lot more than a test purchase (which would almost certainly count as entrapment anyway).

After I paid I asked DS to carry the heavy bag with wine bottles in it but the cashier said he couldn't do that, he had to take the light bag with bread & crisps in it until we got outside.

How fucking ludicrous. What would they have done in the face of the clear criminality of people carrying the wrong shopping bag? Unless this is the deepest countryside where the police have nothing to do, I can't imagine that they'd exactly scramble to surround and subdue you.

You're not allowed to buy razors if you're under 18??

My 10 year old DD uses them now (apparently veet isn't good enough) and I'd never even thought she wouldn't be allowed to buy them in a shop. Surely that's a basic feminine personal hygiene item that many young girls need?!

The check out staff don't make the policies, do you think they do?

Which policy do you think says "if there are two shopping bags, one containing alcohol, the other not, the one with alcohol must be carried by someone aged over 18?" Yes, I think that policy was precisely made up.

You're not allowed to buy razors if you're under 18??

But schools often forbid beards. It's all a mystery. Is it OK to buy razorblades for someone under 18?

The manager shouldn't have overrode the checkoutee. Should have upheld their decision and not served it.

I worked in retail at uni and parents were often buying booze for their underage kids. We got test purchases like that that people failed. The alcohol license holder of the store can be personally fined if booze is sold to anyone underage.

look at it this way.

if it's difficult fir you

an adult.

to purchase alcohol

then maybe just maybe it's made it a bit harder for those who aren't old enough to have access to alcohol.

let's face it alcohol can be fatal at a young age. wasn't there a young girl in the paper recently who nearly died doing shots or something.

if just a small handful of people have been obstructed from.buying booze amd potentially making themselves very ill then that's a good thing isn't it?

even adults have died having choked on their own vomit or been hospitallized with alcohol poisoning.

it's no secret that England has a real problem with binge drinking.

I worked in retail at uni and parents were often buying booze for their underage kids.

This would be Scotland, I take it? Because university students aged under 18 are vanishingly rare (of the order of one in a thousand) in England and Wales.

I was served in.pubs from 16.

that's a scary thought. and really, this think 25 is a good thing.

doesn't stop the parents buying them.stuff and letting them.drink.at home. however at least at home they are safer. amd hopefully more likely to be cut off sooner.

not roaming the stress out of your head amd waking up in strange peope houses

the streets

then maybe just maybe it's made it a bit harder for those who aren't old enough to have access to alcohol.

Tell us how refusing to sell a bottle of Pimms to an adult, and then selling it to them anyway, has helped in this noble cause?

It hasn't. and if their policy was to not serve with children of a certain age and/or with no ID present then she shouldn't have been sold it.

The same law says its absolutely fine to give your 5 year old alcohol in the home. Really clever.

I was served in.pubs from 16. that's a scary thought

No, it's a very comforting thought. You were drinking expensive booze, almost certainly beer or cider, you could only afford a small amount of, in an environment where if you got out of line other adults would tell you to stop being an arse, which was relatively clean and well-lit, and where the staff did have (and always have had) a legal obligation to stop serving you if you are drunk.

Contrast now, when a lot of young people's experience of drinking is illicit spirits at house parties, with limited adult supervision.

I'd far rather my children were drinking in pubs than at house parties, to be honest, and I think that he exclusion of children from pubs by enforcement of licensing laws has had an overall negative effect. After all, you said it yourself: there's a lot of binge-drinking now (pre-loading, etc) which wasn't happening twenty or thirty years ago.

I think cashiers need to use their common sense a bit. I have never been asked to I'd a teenager with their parent specifically. It's not a policy where I work but would and have done when I've thought the alcohol is for someone underage.

I would not have suspected a parent with PimMs myself. I see it as a more grown up drink but you never know.

I guess it's best to check if you are a young or inexperienced cashier or you are unsure. I have heard of managers putting through declined purchases so no harm done in your case. It's happened to me as a customer too

I think, as a little piece of research which I could publish in some shaky social policy venue which thinks peer review means showing it to a Baronet I might write to the supermarkets and ask for their policy and training material on sales to mixed-age groups.