AIBU to think this Supermarket is judging my parenting?

[Doingmybestmum]

AIBU? Standing in a queue in Tesco with (home from uni) DD chatting to me. I was clutching a much anticipated bottle of Pimms, with accompanying lemonade, strawberries, mint etc... goodies going through when charmless checkoutee asks for age of said 21 year old DD and ID for her or she would not be able to sell me the Pimms. I calmly explained that I (substantially over 21) am buying said alcoholic beverage with my money and a) DD is only standing next to me b) its my money c) DD is over 21 and d) what on earth... the manager was called and I was allowed to purchase. AIBU to think that this is ridiculous - I understand that adults must not buy alcohol for underage children, but if you were - would it be Pimms, and would you have the "child" standing next to you?

Where I used to work they had to ID everyone in the group if one was buying alcohol

They don't deserve to stay in business.

but then they changed it to just the person buying alcohol.

So it wasn't the law, then, was it, but some crap they made up and presumably abandoned because the "you put the conveyer belt of shopping away, I'll go someone else" rate got too high.

I also got IDd in a pub buying a Diet Coke when I was pregnant

some pubs are only allowed under 18s in at certain times. or in certain parts of the pub.

so restaurant/outside only.

not the bar itself. and not if not eating a meal with an adult.

The repercussions are great, so caution is always needed. Where I work we have 'think 21' for knives/glue/spray paint

It's a hard call to judge age. The younger staff members really struggle

I once had to perform 'think 21' on a lady wearing a 'letterbox burqa'.... Sorry not sure of correct name for it. I used my common sense. Not allowed to ask them to remove it but her hands looked well used like mine do! She had wrinkles round her eyes ( she also wore glasses) her id could've been for anyone, but I was confidant she was 35+

About the 'she was just doing her job' thingy.

Does it mean you can never buy any sort of alcohol if you do your shopping with a child?
Because you see, it could be for them and clearly they are underage?

Serious question btw. I'm really wondering how someone at the till can make a judgement call on wether someone, who is clearly NOT underage and is holding a bottle of alcohol, will buy for the person next to them (who might be underage).
It seems that there is some sort of rule going on and certainly some judgement going on (eg if only buying alcohol there it's has to be for the person standing next to you, not for you)

When I was pregnant with DS3, I wanted to buy a bottle of whiskey for MrZippy and the checkout person wouldn't serve me because I was pregnant. I was horrified and so embarrassed! Luckily the next person in the queue was my priest. He asked the checkout person if they served priests. She says yes, of course. Priest says, well either you sell it to her or you sell it to me, but either way her husband is getting that bottle.
She sold it to me. I made a complaint. Nothing happened.

Poor girl's face went pillar box red. She confided that any fines get taken out of their wages. Don't know if that's true or not.

The cashier will be personally liable for the offence, so they will have to pay the fine, and associated criminal record. I have a vague memory that it's unlawful for employers to pay employees fines - if not, it's certainly considered to be "not in the public interest". The same way you can't insure yourself against a drink-driving conviction.

It's not that your not allowed to buy alcohol in the presence of a child. They wouldn't question a person with a young child but if they thought that the person you were with would be consuming the alcohol.

Priest says, well either you sell it to her or you sell it to me, but either way her husband is getting that bottle.

I may have just rediscovered my faith

Not a supermarket but me and DP were in a pub recently and ordered a vodka/diet coke and a diet coke (I was driving). The barstaff checked that I didn't have an under 18 with me before she gave me the alcohol. Not just because of under age drinking, but because I would be under the influence in charge of a minor if the vodka had been for me. She wouldn't have given me the vodka.

Now that's a good rule and I totally agree.

A friend of mine, in her late 20's at the time, was now allowed to buy vanilla essence as she didn't have her i.d.

They then refused to sell it to her husband as he might be buying it for her.

Her seven year old son was with them at the time.

They wouldn't question a person with a young child but if they thought that the person you were with would be consuming the alcohol.

It's not consuming: the test is whether you are acting as an agent to purchase the drink which you will then hand over to the child.

Supermarkets which overplay this deserve to go out of business. Asda are, anecdotally at least, the worst offenders, and are very proud of being the people that introduced Challenge 25:

your.asda.com/news-and-blogs/alcohol-test-purchasing

Asda is also completely fucked, and losing business at an accelerating rate:

www.theguardian.com/business/2016/feb/18/asda-quarterly-loss-christmas

Asda’s prolonged sales slump has reached a new record low after a poor performance over Christmas.

Andy Clarke, the chief executive of the UK’s third-largest supermarket, denied the retailer was in crisis as sales at established stores fell 5.8% in the 13 weeks to 1 January, compared with a 4.5% decline in the previous quarter and a 4.7% slide before that – previously the worst performance in Asda’s 50-year history.

Presumably Christmas shopping isn't very profitable if you prevent customers with teenage children from buying booze, eh, Andy? Still, at least you can be smug about that, while haemorrhaging money.

That's about it julia

if your really lucky they will knock.over your furniture and threaten to kill wait fir you outside

Now that's a good rule and I totally agree.

That's a rule with absolutely no legal basis, point or wide acceptance. Are you seriously saying that a restaurant should not serve wine or beer to adults who have children with them at the table? Pizza Express would go out of business.

I was standing behind 3 young people in my local Co-op who were buying a bottle of wine. One of the people was underage so the cashier wouldn;t serve them. She had to void the sale, the under age girl had to go and wait outside while the other 2 joined a new queue and bought the wine

I agree with Bolograph

So, if you are with a young child, they presume the child isn't going to drink so that's OK.
If the child is a 15yo doing the weekly shopping with mum, I suspect that's OK too as long as they don't touch the bottle (But they are OK to help packing the shopping apart from that bottle).
If the child is 15yo and the mum isn't doing a weekly shop, then hell can break loose unless the person at the till decides that actually it's OK.

So basically, the system relies very heavily on judging the adult buying the booze. Do they look like the sort of person that would buy alcohol for an underage (be it their child or not)?
If they do, then you can stop them from buying any sort of alcohol, including non alcoholic drink such as grenadine 'just because'.

But somehow, if the parent buys the same bottle of alcohol on his own, brings it home and let the child drink it (or buys it for their b'day/a friend's b'day as it seems to happen so often), then it's all ok and legal.

And then people wonder why the system is fucked up???

Not to mention the whole social weirdness of making anonymous waitresses and cashiers the moral guardians of the world.

Not to mention the whole social weirdness of making anonymous waitresses and cashiers the moral guardians of the world.

For extra complication, children can drink beer or wine purchased by someone aged over 18 at the table in a licensed restaurant from 16 onwards, so the "you can't buy alcohol for people under 18" is context-specific. It's not just "you can buy a bottle and they can have some", it's legal to order "Apple juice for me as I'm driving, a naice Chardonnay for my daughter, it's her 16th birthday you know".

And restaurants know this: Pizza Express, to pick a random example of a large chain frequented by the middle classes, will happily let you order beer for everyone, even when some of the people are manifestly under 18.

Does anyone remember this bank manager who wasn't allowed to buy a PG film because he didn't have ID with him?

Here

It was never quite that daft when I was a waitress, Bolo though that was in a different century

Not to mention the whole social weirdness of making anonymous waitresses and cashiers the moral guardians of the world

yes the amount of social responsibility on the likes of retail staff and waitresses etc is immense.

even trained professionals get profiles of people wrong. and yet here we are having to judge whether someone old enough, whether what they ate buying is for them and even harder to do is be sure that the person has enough understanding of the situation and isn't being taken advantage of/coerced/bullied etx into purchasing.

it can be a tough call one we are not really qualified to make yet with people higher up constantly trying to catch you out amd little in the way of support.

but I can promise you this much. that it's not done to piss you off. it's done to make sure that no one underage is served age restricted products or is influenced in any way.

I buy alcohol at the grocery store on occasion, and generally have a child accompanying me. I have never been asked to prove I am old enough to buy alcohol, and will be quite cross if this happens when the children get closer to teenagerhood.

it's not done to piss you off.

But the effect is to piss you off, intent or not. So given some supermarkets do this, and others don't, why not shop in the ones that don't, and be pissed off less?