I've just got another long email from my mother, generally documenting all the ways in which I fail as a mother myself ("your DC should eat more red meat, you're making them weak... Their toothbrushes are too close to the taps so when people wash their hands, they might 'flick germs' on them...why did you work past their bedtime (once!) last week, don't you realise you're damaging their mental health, pining for you? This is what feminism has done; women drinking pints of beer,getting cancer from stress and damaging their family...") but my particular favourite was when she recounted an episode from the past week, when she minded my DC, when my youngest DS (2) apparently head butted his brother (5) on the cheek when he dived for a snatched toy. She is amazed by this. AMAZED. She has never, ever, ever experienced two siblings fighting over a toy and nor has she ever seen a 2yo having a tantrum IN HER LIFE. Never. The repeated questions she is asking of me, non-rhetorical, is "where has he learned his behaviour? Where? Who has been teaching him this behaviour?" (essentially someone is TO BLAME).
WIBU to just reply "oh, he was probably remembering that time that I surprise headbutted him after working late - I was very, very stressed and I think I might be a bit anaemic as I only had steak three times that week."