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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to tell my mother what it appears she wants to hear?

31 replies

CustardLover · 30/05/2016 19:38

I've just got another long email from my mother, generally documenting all the ways in which I fail as a mother myself ("your DC should eat more red meat, you're making them weak... Their toothbrushes are too close to the taps so when people wash their hands, they might 'flick germs' on them...why did you work past their bedtime (once!) last week, don't you realise you're damaging their mental health, pining for you? This is what feminism has done; women drinking pints of beer,getting cancer from stress and damaging their family...") but my particular favourite was when she recounted an episode from the past week, when she minded my DC, when my youngest DS (2) apparently head butted his brother (5) on the cheek when he dived for a snatched toy. She is amazed by this. AMAZED. She has never, ever, ever experienced two siblings fighting over a toy and nor has she ever seen a 2yo having a tantrum IN HER LIFE. Never. The repeated questions she is asking of me, non-rhetorical, is "where has he learned his behaviour? Where? Who has been teaching him this behaviour?" (essentially someone is TO BLAME).

WIBU to just reply "oh, he was probably remembering that time that I surprise headbutted him after working late - I was very, very stressed and I think I might be a bit anaemic as I only had steak three times that week."

OP posts:
CodyKing · 30/05/2016 21:09

OH Sorry Mom - it's the way I was raised! XX

NeedsAsockamnesty · 30/05/2016 21:23

My mother does stuff like that usually after my two littlest kids (normal placid can occasionally misbehave but not much) have visited she's very fond of telling me how crap I am and by default they are because of me in comparasion to my wonderful sister and her demon child from hell child (no additional needs or medical issues but excluded from 4 schools by the age of 8) and the very same child who when ever he stays with me for any length of time reverts to standard none demon child behaviour.

I just reply "fuck off and leave me alone you tedious parasitic cunt" or of I'm feeling less charitable then "I always love hearing parenting advice from the woman whose violence caused one of her children to be on the at risk register for 13 years"

abbsismyhero · 30/05/2016 21:32

really? my Nan (her mother) said you were a right little horror when you were two she was ashamed to take you out in public Wink

my family cant really get away with there being no sibling rivalry as my aunts frequently admit trying to get rid of my mom (the youngest) one time they took her for a walk in her pushchair up a hill and let her go to see how fast she would go she still has the scar

pinkladyapple · 30/05/2016 21:32

Maybe reply with -

"Well you do know what you're talking about. I mean, you raised me brilliantly and everything I know about being a mother is what you've taught me. Oh, wait a second..."

sallyhasleftthebuilding · 30/05/2016 22:22

... Do what you really mean is you don't fancy babysitting ever again?

Kitsandkids · 30/05/2016 22:56

I am always so grateful for my mum when I read on here how mad some mothers are. I've never had toddlers as I have foster children who were 5 and 6 when they came to me but I know she's comforted many a relative over their child's behaviour and reassured them that every toddler has tantrums, and that some have more than others. She's also said to me that she thinks I'm the best 'parent' my boys could have. I'm bloody lucky and also sad that not everyone has the same experience. Sad

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