To ask how you afford private school fees

[Elephantslovetofly]

We have a young DD, and although it's a while away yet we are thinking about school. The area we live in does not have a good local school, and we are considering an independent school for her

Disclaimer - I went to a private school and for what it's worth had a great education. I enjoyed being there and did well in exams. I believe my parents decided to send me there also because of a lack of a good local state school. I might have done fine at a state school, but will never know I guess

We are probably 45 min drive from the school I went to - further than is ideal. DH doesn't mind driving her there if we decide to send her there though (if she is fortunate enough to get a place)

The issue is whether we can afford it. The fees are about £9k per year for junior and £12k for senior. Assuming we therefore need to find £1k per month for fees

My cheeky question is this - if you have a child at private school, what does your household earn and how difficult is it to find the money each month to pay the fees? Our income is about £60k, and at the moment I don't think we can do it (along with our other current expenses). Wages might go up a bit before we would need to start paying, but if this is always going to be a pipe dream i'd rather get over it now

I know we could move closer to a good state school, but am exploring my options at this stage. Don't really want to move, as we have a good house here and are settled

Thanks for reading

Sorry that was to Harry - came out of left field there

Minutes upon minutes of exhaustive internet research, AJM.

harry you didn't, talking about politicians is irrelevant to most of us, given that the majority of private school children aren't all in one of the few well known public schools.

new it's the same for us. The only unpleasant comments have been from a couple of people who have something awful to say about everyone. Otherwise exactly the same comments.

Sorry - Harry - made a mistake in reading your post.

I think I get your point & apologise for misinterpreting. - but some private school kids' parents also work hard - it isn't all Brideshead ..........

Harry -
"But, too add to that, I don't have an issue with people choosing to play the system. My issue is with the system itself."

Really? Then why the sneering posts about polo pitches and helicopters some pages back?
That was definitely aimed at people rather than the system.

There was no sneer there, dapple. I was genuinely only having a laugh.

Not al all Harry, both myself and my DH grew up on a shitty estate and worked hard to get where we are. Equally my father, a concentration camp survivor worked hard doing the best he could for us given the circumstances. Back in the 70s and 80s most people on my estate worked hard as there was plenty of industry around back then. DH father also worked extremely hard and made sacrifices to give his children a chance the best he could.

It's not just state schools that have the criminal element such as knife crime. There are major drug issues at some independent schools, and I mean really major. Parents need to have their wits about them and keep alert if they send their children boarding in particular.

You may have missed the post then, Lurked.

Privately educated cchildren make up a disproportionate number of a lot of elite roles and university entrants in this country. This, to me, is fundamentally wrong. And that's the issue I have with the system. If people wish to play it, good luck to them I won't, mind.

Exactly, bella. So there's a bunch of we examples of people who worked extremely hard but were still were not able to privately educate their children. Now just extrapolate that to shitty estates up and down the country. And further afield still to find another bunch of characters - all working hard - but still not being able to privately educate their children!

Sorry about the lousy syntax and spelling. Doing this from my phone and am not really double checking all that thoroughly! Hope you can make out what I am trying to say.

I don't disagree. But when you look at the ex state grammar pupils it demonstrates the state system is a bigger barrier to social mobility. And I don't mean the 11+ system either. Funnily enough the ex state school politicians and others in power didn't all hail from the comprehensive system. Oxbridge numbers are hugely skewed towards private, yes. But nowhere near as skewed as the state intake is.

Note that you dodged every single one of my questions, Harry. Not surprising; people of your type always struggle with the notion that unfairness is perhaps about something a little more complex than how much money your mum and dad have.
Thank god no one who currently makes education policy is listening to you.

In my defence, I only skimmed your post, Karlos and didn't see any questions aimed at me. Did you call me a commie as well?

I'll have a look now.

Boffin

Yes, definitely especially when they get to 6th form, from what I hear.
The rules are relaxed more and some of them act up when they are allowed out at night for longer.

Privately educated cchildren make up a disproportionate number of a lot of elite roles and university entrants in this country. This, to me, is fundamentally wrong.

This is a common refrain. I think it matters why this is so.

If it is so because the students are fundamentally getting a better education, and are therefore more prepared as adults to deliver good results and judgements, then the question is how do we identify what is better about the provision in private schools and seek to emulate what we can in the state schools.

If it is so because the private schools are selective, then you are simply seeing the results of a sieving process where no value has been added but neither has any unfair advantage been gained.

If it is so due to snobbish, social selectivity on the part of HR departments and university dons, and the private school alumni are actually less qualified and capable, then that needs to be tackled with some sort of objective screening at the recruitment level such as aptitude tests or the like.

I suspect it is overwhelmingly the first two rather than the latter. Everyone is very aware in universities, the public sector, and large corporations that private school alumni are over-represented. I don't believe they are being consciously snobby. I think the issue lies with the quality, philosophy and system at work in the state system.

Please don't bother Harry. it is already entirely clear that you have no worthwhile insights to offer.
Commie? No. That would suggest understanding of a coherent belief system. We are not operating at that level, I fear

Hmmm, having now read your questions, Karlos I can honestly say I don't really know why you're aiming them at me.

Suffice to say I don't really know why the notion of fairness in society would put your nose so firmly out of joint.

I think it's unfair to take offence at those who say it's because they worked hard though.
I have worked hard to get dd into the school of her choice, not as hard as she has admittedly. It wasn't for money as an employee but by sacrificing much of my time and luxuries we didn't need.
We all work hard, either for money or giving our time and effort.
For some this will mean a private education, for others it won't.

If somebody is asked and replies it was down to hard work, that is because for them it was. The next person you ask may have inherited or have gp's paying fees.
They aren't saying id you can't afford fees you aren't working hard enough.

I'm comfortable with fairness. I've thought quite a lot about it, in academic and personal contexts. Might be the reason why people like you canting with the concept without ever having grappled with its complexities fills me with such utter contempt.
But as I remarked earlier, no one who matters is listening to you

The fact you don't see the problem with your conclusions highlights what I see as the issues with the system, 80k.

Okay then, we are in agreement that the it's the state sector with something to learn from the private sector?

Karlis, that was such an unnecessarily sneery and twattish post. Speaks volumes.
You have had the fortune to spend 300k on supplementing your ds's education, go you. How many people can't? Show a little compassion.
And as for the people writing education policy in the last 10 yrs, it was almost as if they were on glue.
From Gove's micromanaging of the minutaie of the curriculum, to the swerveball of, "all the poor people will go to academies and we don't give a shiny shit as long as we don't have to pay for it." Yes I know academies were a Labour invention. They didn't expect them to replace education though!

Haven't read the whole thread just the first few pages but I can say that as a pastoral leader in an inner London school, the supposed stereotypes about criminal behaviour, swearing at teachers and generally derailing lessons due to bad behaviour is sadly true. I deal with sanctioning the worst behaviour, in conjunction with our safer schools officer, and dealing with complaints from the more m/c parents who become frustrated that their child can't learn in certain chaotic lessons

We struggle to keep a full staff so many lessons are taught by long term or even daily supply.

I would never send my daughter to a school like the one I work in. I didn't believe in private education either, until I saw the alternative available in London in the different schools I have worked in and has a child of my own who I am very PFB about. These are good- outstanding schools I am talking about I should add, not RI.

A good friend of mine has her children in what sounds like a truly outstanding state primary in London. However she owns a £1million plus house in a good area of London so the school is essentially selective by virtue of house prices!

You're making me laugh, Karlos.

My truth making you uncomfortable?